Romans 16:17-19 November 4, 2009

This is what is on my mind lately. Anyone care to share their thoughts on these verses? I asked a few people on Facebook and heard back from two of them. I am still meditating, but would love your opinion. Please only comment if you are a Bible reader seeking wisdom from God. I will promptly delete foolish or derogatory comments. Thank you.

¹⁷I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. ¹⁸For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. ¹⁹Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.

It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Called November 2, 2009

I am blessed to have friends in ministry. Most of them go to the same church I go to, but some don’t. Some I have never met outside this box we call a computer.

Ministry is not easy. It is hard work. There is little recognition and little pay. At least, in this world.

People high up in ministry, whether paid staff or volunteers, get the pleasure of hearing people in the congregation cry and complain. I’m not sure if they hear more complaints than praise, but I hope not. I know they get all the dirt. I mean dirt too. They are called upon when people are sick, addicted, dying, depressed, suffering, and so on. They visit hospitals and prisons. They feed the hungry. They help the poor. They pour their lives into being the Hands and Feet of Christ.

It ain’t easy bein’ called to ministry. At all.

On the other side of that coin, it also isn’t a picnic being convicted to be different. This year, just like last year, we felt convicted to not celebrate Halloween. This year was much harder than last year. Brianna was exposed to kids in school talking about costumes and candy, two things she really enjoys. She had questions. We had answers. I finally had to sit her down and explain that even though certain parts of Halloween are fun, the whole is not pleasing to God. It was not an easy conversation, but she understood and did not complain. In fact, quite the opposite. She told me she hates Halloween because it is scary and she wants to eat healthy so she doesn’t mind not asking our neighbors for candy.

I had to tell two of our friends that we don’t celebrate Halloween when they called to ask us to join them in the festivities. That was different and I stumbled over my words. Next time, I’ll just say simply, “We don’t celebrate Halloween”, and leave it at that. Then there were the people at the stores asking my kids what they would be for Halloween. My kids looked at them like they were from Mars. I laughed it off and did not reply. Next time I will just say simply, “We don’t celebrate Halloween”. I know most people won’t ask why. In fact, I’ll be surprised if anyone asks why. We’ll save that for next year.

I know there is a great division w/in Christian circles over this subject as well as Santa and the Easter Bunny. I am not typing this to start a debate. My point is that it isn’t easy being called to something.

Ministry is hard.
Conviction is hard. Sometimes. Most of the time?

Anyway, I think people who are against my idea of honesty and integrity as a Christian scoff at me and others like me without truly thinking it through. It would be MUCH easier to dress up my kids and join the crowd. It is not easy to bow out because we feel it is more important to please God than to please man. Even when we are made fun of. Even when we are scoffed at. Even when our backs are stabbed. Even then.

Because, they did that to Jesus too. And, we are taking up our crosses and following. He said it wouldn’t be easy.

He was right!

I want my kids to grow up knowing that even though sometimes it is very hard, pleasing God is the most important thing they can strive for in their lives. Our rewards are great if we obey.

I don’t think God is in business to make our lives miserable. No way. But, He does convict some to obey a certain way and then He tests them to see where their hearts will be… and, quite frankly, I believe we are passing this particular test with flying colors. My integrity as a Christian has not been compromised.

Whether you respect that or not, means very little.

Whether He respects that or not, means very much.

Product Lovin’ October 28, 2009

I haven’t actually seen the news coverage about this. However, I got an e-mail today from the Baby Einstein General Manager. A few days ago my father-in-law told me I could send all my Baby Einstein DVDs back for a full refund. He had heard about it on TV. The news.

Have I ever told you that I.Hate.And.Loathe.The.Media.?

Well, I do. With a passion.

I will not send my Baby Einstein products back. My kids LOOOVE their stuff. I LOOOVE their stuff. I cannot begin to tell you how many times their DVDs have saved my sanity. I’m dead serious. From taking a shower to cleaning my house to having an important phone call go on peacefully, their DVDs have helped me like an electronic babysitter.

I say Go On and On and On and On Baby Einstein Company. To heck with the naysayers attacking you. I support you and I will continue to support you through the years.

Go do yourselves a favor, people who suck. Pick on Mickey Mouse next. Seems he’s due. While you’re at it why don’t you kick Tweety Bird in the nads. Then how about spitting on Elmo and catching Barney on fire. That outta make ya feel better.

Fools!

For real.

Bible Study is Selfish Too October 26, 2009

I just thought of this the other day… during Bible study. Imagine that.

I host a women’s Bible study group once a week. I have been doing this since the summer. I decided since I cannot join the church Bible studies because of my tied down Mommy status that I would bring Bible study to me. I host, and the women bring their young children and we talk about ourselves. I mean… God. We talk about God.

No. We talk about ourselves. A lot. And, how God has helped ourselves. And, how we are improving and how this Bible study has been so great for us. Us.

Me. Myself. I. Me. Me. Me. I. I. I.

I love Bible study. I love it!! I love being with women who believe the way I do. I love being with women who are raising their kids the way I am. I love that I can speak freely about all things Christian without having to explain what I mean. I love the uniqueness of our relationships. Our bonds are family knit and tight.

Our lives are woven and spun together like a spider’s web. Each strand intertwining with another and every one important and unique.

We are family. His. We belong together. We’ll be together forever. This life is only temporary. When you live like that, and have friends who live like that, the relationships are so much deeper and better than anything temporal. Our friendships are not seasonal. They are eternal.

Sisters.

However, Bible study feeds ourself. Flesh. We use it to stay in the Word because our busy lives just tear us away too often so if we join a Bible study then we are forcing ourselves to do the homework which has us searching the Bible to answer the questions. Then we get together over coffee and sometimes snacks to chit-chat about what we discovered about ourselves and our struggles; what God has revealed about us.

The study lasts a few weeks and then we take a break. The cycle continues the next time studies are offered. We scan the list of what is offered, decide if our schedules allow for one, pay our dues, and show up once a week like we did the last time around. Feeding ourselves all the soul food we can munch on.

Quail.

I am not demeaning the Word of God. It is soul food.

But, what does Bible study really do? I mean for the bigger picture. The Kingdom!!!

Year after year women and men join Bible studies. They feel better about themselves and like they get an A+ from God and then what?

What difference is Bible study making for the Kingdom? What changes are being made because of these so-called well equiped Christians who had such a remarkable Bible study that they sell everything they own and move to Asia to save the poor people sold in human trafficking. Or forgo their normal holiday expenses to give it all to feed the poor. Or who don’t sit around stuffing themselves till they are sick and need a nap on Thanksgiving, but cook for and serve the poor woman whose husband can’t work and whose children are hungry.

Bible study is selfish.

Argue with me. Tell me that thousands of Christians are leaving Bible studies well equiped and making monumental differences for the Kingdom.

Do it.

Or, is your observation the same? We are getting fat on our soul food and we aren’t sharing. And I think for all the potential Bible study has for Christians, it is failing to motivate us to look any further than our own inward selves.

I like Bible study. I really do. It helps me feel like I’m doing something, when I’m really not doing much of anything. But, it serves that self-righteous ego of mine and my ego likes that.

Yes, I learn a lot at Bible study. But, most of what I learn isn’t about God… it’s about me.

And all these people writing Bible studies… all these Super Christians… what do they get out of it?
A book deal.
An audience.
Applause.
Dare I say it?
A paycheck!

What would Jesus say about our modern-day American Bible studies?

*NOTE*: I feel I should put this on here so there is no misunderstanding… I do not mean studying the Bible straight from the Bible. I mean a Bible study done from a workbook written by an author based on the Bible. Studying your Bible is very useful for many reasons. Thank you.

What do you say?

No Halloween October 22, 2009

As I’ve said in the past, I do not condemn those of you
who are of the Faith who celebrate Halloween.
For us, it was a strong conviction to bow out, respectfully.
This video touches on the very reasons we chose to forgo the “holiday”.
I put this on my site to inform you, not to judge you.
As for me and my house, we are looking forward to Thanksgiving.

Beer and Photos October 20, 2009

I am uploading to Snapfish and Facebook. It is taking a bit like forever. I am also drinking a Coors Light. It is tasting a bit like refreshing.

It is 9:30 Tuesday night.

My daughter puked at the Cracker Barrel today before we got a chance to order. Within an hour she was at the doc. Not the flu. Thank God! That was the only time she puked. Thank God! Fever this evening and no appetite. Little bit of yucky down south in the potty. She is fast asleep. I read her the book my Mom used to read me when I didn’t feel well. “Corduroy”.

What was your favorite childhood illness remedy?
Mine was Corduroy and chicken noodle soup.
Better still, hugs and cuddles on my Mommy’s lap.

I Only Want Your Approval, Lord October 16, 2009

Decisions October 15, 2009

In No Particular Order

Can you name 5 difficult decisions you have had to make in your life?
Here are five of mine.

1. Divorcing my ex-husband
2. Moving to Florida 4 1/2 yrs ago
3. Going against the norm and standing firm in my beliefs regarding certain holiday traditions
4. Not homeschooling
5. Not pushing for adoption. On the flip side, pushing for Jaxon.

How about 5 stupid decisions?
Again, here are a few of mine.

1. Smoking pot in the high school bathroom during art class (I did not get caught, but if I had…!!)
2. Going in that car alone with my ex-husband before he was even my husband.
3. Breaking off my friendship with Sheila b/c I loathed her husband. May she rest in peace.
4. Moving out of my parent’s house when I was 18.
5. Driving my dad’s Camaro to the mall the first day I got my license after he told me not to. I wrecked it.

Now let’s do 5 of the best decisions you have made.
Mine are…

1. Marrying Rich
2. Having kids
3. Becoming a stay-at-home Mom
4. Going back to school
5. Becoming a born-again Christian

Your turn!

I See God in His Eyes October 13, 2009

I am not sure if I can articulate this properly. I hope my post does the reality of answered prayer justice.

Two years ago a dream was shattered. With the honesty of my husband’s heart becoming a burden to mine, I sought God’s will more fervently than ever before. I had, for about 4 years, dreamed of the opportunity to adopt internationally. Shortly after our beautiful Brianna Lyn was born, I felt the unmistakable call on my life to make a place for an orphan in my family. Rich agreed. However, I now believe he agreed reluctantly.

I believed so strongly in a Chinese girl as my daughter that I felt several times, and in various ways, that God was confirming it in my soul. Mostly, he was putting me in touch with people who had adopted internationally; specifically from China. I fell in love with their gorgeous daughters.

Several years later, when I started contacting adoption agencies and watching doors slam shut on China (my chosen country), my husband told me the truth. He did not want to adopt. In fact, he did not want more children at all. We had our Brianna and our Jeremy, who was born 18 1/2 months after her, and he was satisfied with that.

I was deeply disturbed. Depressed. Shocked. Unsettled. For the first time since I married him, I wondered if I had made a mistake. My feelings weren’t totally rational. I am telling you exactly how I felt, so please don’t judge me.

We took a trip to Arizona in October of 2007 to say goodbye to my ailing Grandmother. Soon after we got home, Rich took a business trip. While he was gone I discovered I was pregnant. We did not plan for it and it was very unexpected. I was elated.

Shorter version. In December of 2007, we lost that baby via miscarriage which I have written about repeatedly over the last 2 years. But, while I was pregnant, I prayed for a healthy blue-eyed baby.

When I got pregnant with Jaxon in April of ‘08, I prayed for a healthy baby sans the blue eyes. I refused to pray for blue eyes because I felt that was a silly and selfish prayer and who really cared if the baby had any eyes at all. I just wanted a baby. Again, rational thinking eluded me from time to time.

“Please, God, let this one live.”

We had several complications throughout my pregnancy thinking at one point that our baby was positive for Downs Syndrome. Thankfully, he was born a healthy and robust and normal baby. All the drama during the pregnancy was just that… drama.

Jaxon turned 9 months old today. He is still healthy and robust. He has added so much joy to our lives that I cannot begin to describe it to you. If you have children, you know what I mean. He is amazing. They are all amazing.

And, all three of my kids were born with blue eyes. Brianna’s changed to hazel soon after she turned 4 months old. Jeremy’s turned to brown by the time he was 5 months old. But, Jaxon’s have remained blue — becoming even more vibrant in color as he has grown.

One morning I had Jaxon on my bed and we were alone. I looked him deep in the eyes and I swear to you I saw God. My heart nearly leapt out my chest. I felt goosebumps run through my entire body.

“There He is. I see.”

In the bright blue eyes of my son, I saw God. Maybe you don’t understand. Maybe you think I’ve lost my mind. But, I can assure you that every single time I stare into the eyes of my Baby Jack I see God staring back at me.

Jaxon is not God. I am not saying that he is a holy human. No. Make no mistake.

But, Jaxon’s eyes are my gift… my promise… my assurance…

…from Him. And, only Him. Because only He could give such a thing to me.

…just like Noah’s rainbow.

God answers prayers even when we don’t pray them.
He knows our hearts and it gives Him pleasure
to show us He hears.

Sarah, Hannah, and Rachel would all agree.
God hears the cries of His children.

Cry out to Him.

Honesty October 9, 2009

Are you always honest? Can you tell the truth even when the truth hurts?

Not me.

I strive to be as honest as possible — sometimes to a fault. But, there are times when I decide it is better to lie than to tell the truth. I decide this when I think the truth will hurt someone.

I explained to my kids about eating healthy foods and why we try to do this as often as possible. If their diet was left up to them, they would eat nothing but McDonalds and candy and ice cream.

I avoided the word “fat” for a long time. Finally, the other day in the car, I explained what “fat” meant.  I used examples of people they know so they would understand the physique of a healthy person vs. the physique of an unhealthy person… a fat person, if you will.

Well, I try very hard to be honest with my kids. I am of the belief that if they catch me lying to them about one thing, then why should they believe me with anything else. I want them to trust me entirely.

A few days later, we were at the dollar store. Standing in line, two people in front of us, was a woman who was obese. My normally quiet and reserved 5 year old daughter suddenly piped up.
“Mom, is that lady fat?”

Ugh!

The guy in front of me and behind the “fat” lady chuckled under his breath. I was not chuckling. I was mortified. I shushed my daughter which made her cry. She wasn’t intentionally being mean or rude. She was asking me a matter of fact question about what I had just taught her a few days before.

Ugh!

The lady ignored us, but I’d bet $100 that she heard my little girl. I am thankful she ignored the comment, but I hurt on my insides for her. When we got in the car I had to explain to my kids that saying a person is “fat” is not a nice thing to announce. Yes, that woman was fat, but it is not nice to say it to her. It hurts people’s feelings, even when it is obvious to the world that they are unhealthy, to be called “fat”.

What would I have done if the woman had not ignored the comment? I have no idea. I guess I would have had to apologize for not teaching my daughter that calling someone “fat” was rude and so on.

When I talk about being fat to my friends and husband, I don’t necessarily want them to agree with me. I don’t want them to pump too much sunshine, but a little sunshine is ok.

See.

Even I don’t want the truth coming from anyone other than the lady in the mirror when it comes to my own physique.

So. Honesty.
When is it not good?
Or, is it always good?

According to God, honesty is good all of the time w/out exception.

Ugh!