Cravings and Aversions June 13, 2008

I get asked almost daily one of three questions…

1. How are you feeling?
2. Do you have any weird cravings?
3. Are there smells that you cannot handle?

So here are my answers to all three. These can change dramatically from week to week.

How am I feeling?
I am more plagued by fatigue than nausea now. I still get nauseous several times a day, but I have learned little tricks to manage it. I eat small frequent meals all day long, I stay away from greasy things (these trigger heartburn which triggers nausea), I try not to overeat, I drink a lot of Gatorade, I drink a lot of milk, I take Maalox, Vitamin B-6, and my prenatal multi. I don’t wear the Seabands so much now — usu if I’m in the car or out and about where I might get hungry before I get home. I have the mask of pregnancy just like with the other 3 pregnancies. They just keep getting bigger with each child. My breasts are still sore, full, and sometimes I get shooting pains in them. All of this junk is very normal.

Cravings:
No more Frosted Mini Wheats. The thought of eating them gags me. Funny, huh? Now I crave oranges, bagels, and english muffins for breakfast. For lunch, I want either a sub or a turkey pot pie. For dinner it depends on the moment. Last night I was dying for turkey burgers, au gratin potatoes, and sauteed peppers. It was delicious. I also want Cracker Barrel meatloaf. I feel like I could eat it every single day. However, I’ve only had it once in the past week. For snacks it’s usu carrot sticks dipped in curry chicken salad or cole slaw or another orange. Milk is my number 1 craving to drink followed by Gatorade (lemon/lime only).

Food Aversions:
This list is MUCH longer. I cannot stand anything sugary other than concord grape jelly on my english muffin or fruit. I can’t do baked chicken of any flavor. As a matter of fact, the sight of raw chicken makes me gag. The only chicken I can handle is either wings or breaded chicken tenders with buffalo wing sauce (Publix makes some really good ones). Oh and curry chicken salad. No lettuce type salads, onions, and very little garlic, if any. No peanut butter and the smell gags me. Gone are my eggs, sausage, toast for breakfast. I can do eggs and all that if it’s a sausage and egg McMuffin from McD’s or if they are hard boiled and made into egg salad for a sandwich. The only way I can eat pasta is in a butter sauce. No marinara sauce. Smart Balance isn’t quite getting it right now. I have real butter, but I’m trying to wait it out b/c butter is not healthy and SB is. I am tolerating it in small amounts. I can eat pizza, but only when the mood strikes. No yogurt, no ice cream, no candy, no gum. No soda, no coffee, no sugary drinks.

Smells:
I cannot handle chemical smells like cleaning supplies and air fresheners. No perfumy things either like deoderant, soap, lotion, or shampoo. Cooking chicken gags me a lot. The smells left over after cooking are awful. I have to wait until my stomach is stable to clean up after meals. I also have a lot of trouble in the mall near the food court and in the grocery store. Too many mixed smells for me. Alcohol, smoke from cigarettes, and other similar irritants make me run for cover. I don’t know how in the world women can smoke while they are pregnant. Puke!

So there you have it. So far this has been a pretty healthy pregnancy compared to my other three when I wanted all the junk I could get my hands on.

Insecurity June 12, 2008

I don’t know any women who are completely secure in who they are or what they look like. Some might be secure in themselves (the inner person), some might be secure in their looks, but not one is secure in BOTH.

I am pushing 9 weeks pregnant. I am showing. Ok. So it’s not really all baby. Not even half baby. Mostly it’s just that I cannot suck in the stomach my two blessed children have given me. I am also very bloated and swollen (just ask my boobs). I am sick as a dog — you all know this because I can’t seem to shut up about it. So anything tight around my stomach might as well be a torture device. Tight = extra pukey feeling. Today I got brave and wore straight maternity clothes. Pants. Shirt. And this is the most comfortable I have felt all darn week.

Insecurity plagues even pregnant women. Especially those like me who are on their umteenth pregnancy. This is my 4th. My poor aunt who has had herself 12 children starts wearing maternity clothes at the first sign of a missed period. Yeah. You get that stretched out. Yeah. Your body goes “oh heck yes I’m pregnant it’s time to bloat up and stick out all over the place”. Yeeee-freakin-haawww!! In walks evil mister insecurity.

And       It        Goes         Like          This

• It’s too early for maternity clothes
• It’s too late for regular clothes
• It’s going to look silly
• It’s going to be comfortable
• People are going to gawk at me when they find out how far along I’m not
• People are idiots — esp people who gawk and have never had a baby
• Tall girls are lucky. They wouldn’t wear maternity clothes at 9 weeks.
• Tall girls pants are too short. Wear them, you’ll feel so much better.
• Ok fine. Let me just see how they fit.
• Hecks no - forget how they fit, they FEEL like heaven.
• Ha! Hello maternity clothes… goodbye sizes 4-10. See you in a year!

I have taken the plunge. I cannot control the fact that my body looks 4 months pregnant already. I started wearing maternity clothes with Brianna at 12 weeks, for Jeremy it was a mere 10 weeks, with my angel baby I had just pulled them out of the garage and hung them up in the closet, with this one just shy of 9 weeks. I might as well get a lot of use out of them since this is it and it’s a wardrobe that only lasts 7 months. Some ladies can get away with not wearing them for more than 5 months. Goodie goodie for them. I’ll get more bang for my buck then.

I am tempted to lie about my due date the next time I’m asked. Maybe I’ll say November so I won’t get a weird look. Strangers will never know the difference. Friends will just have to be nice and then laugh when I waddle walk away.

So here’s to the next 7 months. By the time the summer ends I’ll look like I’m ready to give birth. It all goes out and downhill from there. At least when I get that big the attention is more positive and nurturing than gawking and negative and causing embarrassment for something I cannot control. I wish my Grandpa M. was still alive. He thought women were most beautiful when pregnant. No wonder he and Grandma M. had 13 kids. If he were still here I’d call him just to hear him tell me how beautiful I look. Rich tries. But seriously. He is much more convincing when I’m slinking into the bedroom in a leopard print nightie that’s a size extra small. Yeah. He’ll have to wait awhile for that to happen again.

This is not me.
Yet.

That One Day in September June 10, 2008

Anxiety.

I’ll never, for the remainder of my life, forget what I saw on my TV screen the morning of September 11th as I was eating cereal in my apartment in Dublin, Ohio. I was watching the news waiting for word about weather and traffic. I was going into work late… can’t remember why. A straight-faced news reporter was talking about a plane that had struck the World Trade Center. It was burning in the background and replays of the tragedy were beginning to air. As she was talking, behind her head the 2nd plane struck. She didn’t see it coming, but her audience did. I did. I have never seen fear like that on anyone’s face. The reporter lost all emotion and was terrorized. Panic. What the hell just happened?! What the hell is happening?!

That day was like no other. That week. That month. That year.

Before September 11th I loved to fly.

Now. I. Hate. It.

I leave for Ohio a week from Friday. Straight flight. No stops. Two and a half hours. For the last 2 days I have been praying so hard for safety. I tell God it’s ok with me if I go to Heaven. I’m not worried about me. I worry about my children. My kids would be devastated to lose me. My husband would be shattered. Their lives would never be the same. Ripped at the seams.

Flying gives me anxiety. I am not comfortable with any of it. Airport security or not. I hate to fly. I have to prepare mentally and just grin and bear it during the travel. I immediately start thanking God as soon as we land.

My flight home is the same. Straight. No stops. Two and a half hours. I should be home by naptime on Sunday as long as there are no delays.

I can’t wait until I get home and I haven’t even left yet.

Death Feet June 9, 2008

My son’s feet smell like a dead animal.

Puke!

They are so nasty and my sense of smell is so acute right now that I almost can’t hold him.

Gag!

Done June 8, 2008

Well folks, as much as my stats have thrilled me for the past few months, I am going to bow out of Blog365. Lately I’ve had next to nothing to write about. I am in no mood to be funny. I am physically miserable most days now and I am afraid the negativity will come through.

I am not done with the blog. But I am done writing when I don’t feel like writing. I am done trying so hard to get a bigger readership. Truly, there are way more important things… like my kids, my husband, and right now my sanity. Plus, I have recently found out a couple people I know are being freaked out by some shady online characters and, to tell you the truth, that really ticks me off. To know that there are almost 200 (sometimes more) people who are reading about my life every single day and NOT commenting. Well, that’s a little unnerving sometimes. Esp now that I know there are a couple who aren’t on the up and up. You have seen pictures of me and my kids. You know where I live and where I am from. Ya know?

I’ll be back and I might still write often. But I am done with stats and Blog365. This blog is for me. I started it because I Iove to write. Back to basics.

Thank you to everyone who has visited and might continue to visit. Esp THANK YOU to those of you who have commented. It’s the invisible/silent ones that are starting to freak me the heck out.

See ya soon.

I’m Just Too… June 7, 2008

Tired

Grumpy

Nauseous

Grumpy

Tired

See you tomorrow.

Eating Bugs June 6, 2008

My almost 4 year old tells me she wants to eat bugs. I try to persuade her that her idea is disgusting. She insists that she wants me to cook bugs for her. Where in the world she got this in her head is beyond me. I told her if she ever makes it to China she can eat bugs. I hear they serve anything with its back to the sun. That would include grasshoppers in my mind. Gross! Thank God for the FDA!!

This morning she asked my 2 year old little boy if he’d like to get his hand stamped. I thought they were pretending so I didn’t worry. I continued to eat my bagel. He walks in the kitchen to show me his hand stamps. She used black ink pen to draw on his face and arms. Yeah, they weren’t pretending. It won’t come off. Any suggestions??

My son has a toddler sized crush on my friend. He talks about her every single day. He prays for her every single night. He loves his Miss “S”. He tells me my shoes are like hers and my shirt is like hers. If only I was as tall and as thin as her, is what I think.

My daughter is a preschool sized gymnast. One of her gymnastics “teammates” peed her leotard a few weeks ago. Poor girl. She was humiliated and her mom was too. I laughed about it later, but right then I put on my best sympathy face. I held her baby while she tended to her daugher’s little accident. I thought Jeremy might get jealous, but he wasn’t. My daughter won’t stop talking about “J” peeing herself at gymnastics. I warn her with my best serious face that if she ever pees herself anywhere she’ll be in big trouble. So far so good. I was worried that it was a novelty for her and she might try it just to see what happens. Thankfully she is obeying me.

Being a mom is the greatest thing I’ve ever been challenged with.

Sticky Plasma June 5, 2008

Sounds medical, doesn’t it? Sounds kinda gross too. Well, I don’t mean blood plasma. No. I mean my husband is stuck in sticky plasma from his new TV.

The television is a tool for me. I use it to entertain my kids while I am showering, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, or need a breather for a few. I don’t watch it. Therefore, it has no importance to me. As far as I’m concerned, it can be a black and white 17 incher and that would be just dandy.

Opposites attract.

My husband, on the other hand, is a sports addict. He also loves the show “Cops”. That’s what he unwinds to at night (or I should say early morning) after a hard day at work. Guess there is nothing like watching stupid people doing stupid things like breaking the law to bring you down from your day. I don’t know. The few times I have seen it I have had a good laugh or a big jaw drop and a [suck in your breath real hard and look away from the TV] reaction.

Anyhow. He talked me into DVR and HD service through our satellite company back in yadda yadda. I can’t remember, but it hasn’t been that long ago. Since it really didn’t cost that much more a month and since we’ll never switch satellite companies, I didn’t mind agreeing to another 2 year contract and buying a receiver. It made him so happy and since he’s the dough boy I thought I better let him have his toy. I see diamonds in my future. LOL! See I don’t use sex to bribe him into fine jewelry. Nope. I use electronics. Ha!!

Our giant screen projection TV broke yesterday. I was all doing the happy dance until I realized what that meant to my moments of freedom during the day and my husband’s no brainer moments at night. I guess we really did need either a repair or a new TV. He was rejoicing!! Totally rejoicing!! He immediately started looking online at plasma and LCD TVs. I rolled my eyes. I’m all about the repair. He’s all about a brand new high powered high fallutin mumbo jumbo can even leap buildings in a single bound TV. I sighed heavily.

See he’s been begging me off and on for a fancy shmancy TV like this for oh about 2 years now (he’ll argue with me about this). I kept telling him there is nothing wrong with the TV we have. So God smiled on him yesterday and the daggon thing bit the dust. No picture. Sound. No picture. He called a friend of ours who manages an electronics store and is quite the gadget and handyman type. Friend says, “man, that will cost about $400 for the part and another $200 for service and that’s IFFFF that’s all that is wrong… those TVs weren’t built to last more than 5 years” and our TV was 7 years old. We got 2 extra years out of it I guess. Lucky us [sarcasm]. So basically we bought the Chevy of TVs. We now needed a Toyota.

You should have seen him this afternoon all giddy like a school girl making his plans to go to Sears b/c they had such a great deal. Turns out there was more to the story and we don’t like being misled. Off to Circuit City he goes. About 2 hours later he calls me and tells me his fantastic news. He got a plasma TV plus a stand plus some fancy wire piece for no interest for 24 months. He got himself a deal. The total price is about half what it would have been a year ago for the same exact giganticarama plasma TV that is now perched in our living room. I mean this sucker is HUGE. And, even I have to admit, it’s a beautiful piece of electronic paradise. Stunning even.

Then        We         Turned        It          On

Hippy Dippy Do Da!! I thinks me likes me new TV so much me might just have to watch it. Even if it’s golf, which to me is like watching paint dry. However, golf in HD is gorgeous. You can even smell the grass. Well, almost.

Forget the grill kids. We’re having a party and YOU’RE bringing the food. I’m telling you it will be a priviledge just to get to sit on our couch with the remote in your hand.

I guess I got stuck in the sticky plasma too.

Yeah. It’s like that one.
50 inches.
Gorgeous.
C’mon over!

Three Days Down June 5, 2008

First of all, thank you to the 10,000th person to visit my site and all of you people under and over that number. I am so excited to hit this mark. It’s so fun for me!!

Since the 10,000th person didn’t let me know “it was you”, my good friend, Ali, will pick the charity for the donation. What will it be Ali??

Now — 3 days down. I am going out of town for my little sister’s wedding end of June. Due to the fact that a guest blogger has to have a WordPress blog I will not have a guest blogger during those days. Sorry to Carey and Carrie. Guess I should have checked that first. That ends my commitment to Blog365 because I am not taking my laptop to the wedding. I am not only getting a break from being mom and wife for 3 days I am also getting off the electronic ride. I know you’re all now crying, but I’ll be back as soon as I can once I return.

So thank you thank you thank you a thousand times for visiting Candid Chatter. Hugs to all!!

Hamburgers, Frosted Mini Wheats, and Ten Thousand June 4, 2008

My numero uno craving is Kelloggs Frosted Mini Wheats. I would rather eat these than at my favorite restaurant or steak or cheesecake or anything, even pizza. I love some FMW right now!! The closest 2nd is a double hamburger from Wendy’s with pickles and cheese only. I have given up coffee because it makes me sicker than a dog. I think it’s the high amt of caffeine from the espresso. However, the smell of it is not pleasant right now either. So it could be that too. I have 1 coke a day to ward off the caffeine withdrawal headache. I’m also digging brewed, sweetened Green Tea with Mint. It is music to my tastebuds.

Alright. The real reason I am back online already. My site is about to hit 10,000 visits (today? tomorrow?). Look to your right, scroll down a little, and you’ll see the stat counter. PLEASE — if you are the 10,000th person to hit my site let me know. Even if you’ve never left a comment on a weblog in your life. Just say “it was me” or something even less creative. There is an incentive. I will donate $25.00 to the charity OF YOUR CHOICE in honor of YOU. So together we can help someone in need.

Who will it be? You or you or you or you?? Let me know!!