My sweet Brianna. Blonde hair – Hazel eyes – Porcelain skin. She is beautiful.
She is fragile.
I am sensitive. I get my feelings hurt very easily. That’s life for me. My youngest sister, Katie, is the same way. It’s not that I cry a lot. Before I had kids I hardly shed a tear. Sad movies or crazy anger is all that usually provoked the water down my cheeks. And if I did cry it would make me angry. Even if hurt, I would suck it up so hard that my throat would be sore sometimes.
My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are criers. They are so delicate emotionally that they cry if they so much as see someone’s chin quiver. I don’t find this strange behavior. I find it quite feminine. And they are both ultra-foo-foo feminine.
So is Brianna.
Combine my sensitive nature and their delicate emotions and you have my precious little 3 year old. She has had trouble controlling her emotions since birth. The child cries her heart out daily. I thought by now it would start to get better. She screams when she’s angry, she cries very easily, she laughs whole-heartedly, she jumps up and down and dances around when she is excited, her smile takes up her whole face when she’s happy. I can tell exactly what she’s thinking because she wears her heart on her sleeve. She is amazing. She is a handful. She is mine — a gift from God. My treasure.
For the past week I have noticed something emerge that I hadn’t noticed before. She is trying to suck it up. When her feelings get hurt by someone other than me, her dad, or her brother she tries to control her emotions. She smiles, clicks her tongue, puts her tongue in her cheek as her eyes fill with tears. It literally b-r-e-a-k-s my heart. Crushes me. I have been telling her to come over to me. I hug her and whisper in her ear, “it’s ok to cry, sweetie”. That’s all it takes. The flood starts and she wails quietly into my shoulder as I hug her tightly. She hugs me hard and her little body shakes with her sobs. Snap goes my heart – right in half.
My little miss sensitivity. Be gentle with her world. She is fragile.