Candid Chatter

Just Say It

They Are Lying! April 24, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 8:46 pm

Mutant mommies. Guh-Rrrrrr!

There is this woman who is a mom of two little girls in Brianna’s gymnastics class. She also has a boy who is school-aged. Three kids. Three. One. Two. Three.

She is about a size 0 and she might be about 5’5″. Flat stomach. I know this because of the types of clothes she wears. Not revealing, per se, but tight. Tight low-rider jeans, tight tank tops. So I asked her how she stays so thin. I’ll have you know that out of the last 5 women I’ve asked this question to ALL of them have said, “I don’t exercise”. Bull____ (you fill in the blank!). She was no exception. This is what I hear, “Oh, tee hee, I don’t sweat at all, I am naturally thin and I must just have a high metabolism because I don’t diet either. Tee hee. Anyone want to go for ice cream after gymnastics? My treat!!!” Ok so she didn’t really say all of that. But she did say “naturally thin, must have a high metabolism, had to quit smoking to put on weight b/c I was 98 pounds 6 months ago”. Yeah. No exaggeration there. You want to call her the “b” word too, don’t you? Ugh! I’m so jealous of women who have to put ZERO effort into looking that hot. Blah! I am much more satisfied with “I work out 2 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I eat nothing but carrots and fish”.

Oh – It’s – A – Conspiracy!

The reason I ask this question is NOT because I’m a glutton for punishment. No dear! I really want to know. I have to bust my glutes off to get/stay in shape and it is aggrivating. I have to eat low-carb, high fiber, and low-fat. It’s so much torture fun!!

And what the heck is this back fat all about? What? Who gets that?

So here is my problem. I have gained 15 pounds. Today I weighed myself. Big Big Mistake! That is not the way to start your morning. After I gawked at the results and picked my jaw up off the bathroom floor, I decided I had better pee and remove my clothing. Tsk! That only took away 3 pounds. Otherwise I would have thought I had gained 18 pounds. No, shew, only 15.

So why don’t I just do my exercise videos that I have sworn by for the past 8 years? Well, because I’m having this knee issue and I don’t want to have surgery because I am trying to get pregnant. This means I cannot do squats or lunges right now. Most of my videos are LOADED with squats and lunges. That’s what keeps my apple bottom from hanging on the backs of my legs. MmmHmm. Well since Bree’s gymnastics class was yesterday and that annoying beautiful must-be-starving-herself woman told me she’s just physically mutated gifted, I decided instead of waiting until May 1st to start my exercise/diet program again I am going walking today — outside — with the kids in the jogging stroller. Off I went. Loved every minute of it. Kids did too b/c they really like the jogging stroller. Here’s hoping they never get sick of it.

I think I might just stop asking that stupid question though. At least I have found out that 4 out of the 5 ladies I have recently asked this question to all remain physically active. I guess they don’t consider it exercising, what they do, b/c they don’t go to a gym or do workout videos. But they DO walk, run after kids all day, ride bikes, etc. Well that’s me now. I will walk every day if I can. I want a bike for my upcoming 35th birthday (I told Rich today that’s what I want); and not a stationary one. I want the wind in my hair. Ok, so it’s Florida. Not much of a breeze right now. So that’s alright — riding a bike will feel like a face full of hairdryer air. Yes!! That’s what I want.

PS: If you are genetically mutated gifted too, please do us a favor… LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH! Please! Tell us you are on the celery & mustard diet and you exercise for 4 hours twice a day 6 days a week. Please! Seriously! Lie! Lie hard!! Thanks.


One Response to “They Are Lying!”

  1. Jen Says:

    Big B’s! I agree. They should lie.

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