Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Getting Nowhere May 20, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 8:54 pm

I’m a get it done and get it done NOW kind of girl. Organized? Yeah, that’s my middle name. On time? No, dear, EARLY. I should be the CEO of FedEx. Seriously.

There is this person my husband and I loaned a major amount of money to about 3 years ago. “Sam” was in trouble. “Sam” had overspent on the credit cards and couldn’t pay them off as “Sam” had agreed to do in the contract by the credit card company. So we loaned “Sam” our credit card to pay off the balances. I guess you could say we extended credit to “Sam” through our own credit card. We did this on the emphatic promise that “Sam” would pay it off within 3 months. That was almost 3 years ago. For a long time Rich and I made the payments on that card. This will give you an idea of the amount loaned. The minimum payment is $200 per month. Minimum, folks. I would send in the $200 and then spend that much so it was a wash. That was our grocery money for a couple weeks. It didn’t really hurt and so I didn’t really complain.

However, we can not keep doing that. That $200 isn’t as readily available any longer since we have moved. “Sam” is a slow payer. I send “Sam” an e-mail reminder every month that the payment is due. I usually don’t hear from “Sam”. The next step is that Rich will call “Sam” to get the ball rolling. This last time it didn’t work. I called “Sam” today and told “Sam” that the payment is due by 5:00 tomorrow. If “Sam” didn’t pay us by then we would be in serious crappy doo doo. Finance charges, higher interest rate, late fees, etc. Credit card companies don’t mess around. Neither do I.

If “Sam” wasn’t who “Sam” is then we’d have done something about this. This situation is even a secret from “Sam’s” spouse. If “Sam’s” spouse knew, we’d probably have that card paid off or the balance transferred that very week. I can’t tell you how many times I have been tempted to tell “Sam’s” spouse about this little problem.

I will never… no, really, NEVER loan money again. From now on, if I can’t afford to give it away I won’t agree to “loan” it. Learn this little bit of a lesson and learn it vicariously through me. Don’t make the same mistake. If you can’t afford to give the money away and not expect to ever see it again, then do NOT “loan” it to anyone. When we give $$ now we don’t expect it to be paid back. We’d love for it to come back somehow, but we won’t expect it to. That’s life. That’s people.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Some people just don’t get it.

Some people just don’t know when enough is enough.

Some people just don’t live in reality.

It’s a shame.


8 Responses to “Getting Nowhere”

  1. Tausha Says:

    i have decided from all the people I know who did this and that i have heard from people who have done this, that it is just a bad idea! bad bad bad!!!!
    I feel for ya! It’s so hard because money can break up families and friendships! it sucks! So- I hope that you work this out. Keep us posted-hope that it is all positive~

  2. Iain Hall Says:

    Yep never lend money to friends or family I have niece who still owes me $240 from about 5 years ago and I know I will never see the cash ….

  3. candidchatter Says:

    Iain: Thanks for commenting. Nice to meet you. Yeah, we’ve loaned $$ before to other ppl (friends/family) and thought with this particular “Sam” that we’d be fine. This “Sam” had potential. Nope! Doesn’t matter which “Sam” you encounter it’s always a bad idea.

    Tausha: I hope it’s all positive too. However, I feel the wall go up whenever “Sam” is in the picture. Hard to be nice to “Sam” when “Sam” has been so irresponsible (and continues to be). “Sam” is now in severe debt. I think we aided that by relieving thousands of dollars of the burden 3 years ago. Pitiful. “Sam” is a moron with money.

    And we are the suckers!


  4. Alright, my Sam was Ron and it was tires for his car. And I took Ron to small claim’s court and won. Have you considered that? Sure, it was a blow to Ron’s credit to have a judgement but it was a bigger blow to my budget to keep floating the jerk.

  5. candidchatter Says:

    Carrie: No. Can’t. And I can’t explain, otherwise I would come very close to revealing “Sam’s” identity. As much as outing “Sam” might feel good to me, it might cause problems for me that I do not want to deal with. Trust me though, I have been SOOOO tempted to tell on “Sam” to the spouse. That would solve the whole issue. I can’t even tell the spouse. Grr!! Just hoping “Sam” pulls this off someday. I will not pay off the debt even if I can. Won’t. It’ll stay there until I die if it has to. Not my debt. Not my dime.

    Glad you won though! That’s awesome!!


  6. anne Says:

    I have a suggestion. See if you can get “Sam” to attend Dave Ramseys Total Money Makeover classes or at least read his book. It really changed the way we look at money. You guys might want to check it out too! 🙂 What he’ll learn from this is how its really not that insurmountable of an obstacle to get out of debt!

  7. candidchatter Says:

    Thanks, Anne. I’ll check it out.


  8. carey Says:

    Sounds like “Sam” doesn’t give a shit! If he did, and if he was grateful, for what you guys did in helping him…he would continue to make payments (on time) and completely pay of his debt.

    I think (and maybe I’m wrong) since he’s paying back a credit card in your name, if he’s late…and you have other credit cards it raises their rate as well! Especially if you have cards at a low rate-it will go up. Again I could be wrong, but it’s happened to me before.

    Good luck, maybe you should show him your blog…and he can read the comments.

    Just a thought:)

    Hey, by the way Heidi, I hope you feel better you seem down lately! *smiles and hugs to you*

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