Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Stuck in a Rut May 27, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 6:33 am

Lately I’ve been uninterested. Feeling very blase about life in general. Sure I’m grateful for my blessings. Sure I love my family. Sure.

But what else?

Structure. Schedule. Every week the same old things. Bored housewife. Just a bored person.

I don’t want to read a book. I don’t want to go shopping. No money for that anyway. I don’t do crafts or things like that. My hobby was school and that’s out for awhile. Even so, I complained about it while it was in. I’m sure you remember if you were around this site then.

So what?

I get this way from time to time. I am better when things need planned or organized. Things besides laundry, housework, and the daily grind. I want to have a party. A “for no reason” BBQ with lots of Christian friends for fun, food, and fellowship. However, we still don’t have a grill. I should just go buy one of those cheap charcoal ones. I miss grilled meats and veggies.

I leave for Ohio in less than a month. That is going to be a good time. But it will be quick. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve never been away from my children, so 3 days will just about kill me in the heart. However, it’s going to be so nice seeing my family and being able to sleep for 2 nights with no baby monitor and to be selfish and all about me for a few days. That will be really nice. Nobody to think about, mother, or pamper. Ahhh. Yeah, that will be very nice.

I think this getting older thing has me down. Mostly related to child bearing. Advanced maternal age they tell me. Great. There are more tests for me to consider. More. I guess that’s good. It is. It’s good. But there are also more risks. Miscarriage. Chromosomal disorders. Downs syndrome. Blighted ovum. Molar pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy. And more. It’s hard to get excited about making a baby when it seems the odds are stacked against me.

Blase. Stuck in a rut.

How are you feeling today?

Click comments and tell me about it.

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5 Responses to “Stuck in a Rut”

  1. Cynthia Says:

    I think all of us stay-at-home-moms feel this way from time to time, but it will pass. I’m sure you know that. Enjoy your few days to yourself when you go to Ohio!

    Oh and that getting older thing. You aren’t old! Don’t dwell on the risks. I had my first child at 34 and my second at 36. No problems. God has a purpose and a plan. Trust Him!

  2. candidchatter Says:

    Cynthia: Funny that you just wrote “trust Him” because that is my exact heartbreaking obstacle lately. I just told my husband and my best friend about it today. I am having trouble trusting him with another pregnancy — because the last time I trusted Him the baby died. I am working on it thru prayer and by being honest about it. So thanks for typing those words. They mean a lot right now. And maybe, just maybe, He is trying to send me a message thru you. I hope so! Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

    XO,
    Heidi

  3. Mel Says:

    Chin up, sunshine! I feel the same way from time to time. I hear ya on looking forward to a short break from the mommy gig- that’s what my week in FL is all about! I can’t believe a month from right now I will be soaking up the sun on the beach. Ahhhh! Anyway, I hear ya. Hugs & prayers- young lady! You are SOOOO not old! 🙂
    Mel

  4. candidchatter Says:

    Mel: I want to see you while you are here. I’ll be back on Sunday. How can we make this work? E-mail me your dates again. Maybe I can get my FIL to come stay with my turds while I take an addt’l day off to see you. I so need that!! I sooooo entirely need that. Plus, last time you were here I couldn’t get away. This time I am determined!

    XO!

  5. carey Says:

    Heidi,
    I hear you…feeling like you do, it’s not fun. I too feel like that more times than not, just know it will pass!

    And like the other ladies have said you are not old, I had Rickie at 41 and he was my easiest pregnancy! Maybe something is in the air because, I’ve been in a funk all weekend.

    I hope you feel better soon, like tomorrow! 🙂

    Big HUGS to you.

    Carey


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