Lately I’ve been uninterested. Feeling very blase about life in general. Sure I’m grateful for my blessings. Sure I love my family. Sure.
But what else?
Structure. Schedule. Every week the same old things. Bored housewife. Just a bored person.
I don’t want to read a book. I don’t want to go shopping. No money for that anyway. I don’t do crafts or things like that. My hobby was school and that’s out for awhile. Even so, I complained about it while it was in. I’m sure you remember if you were around this site then.
I get this way from time to time. I am better when things need planned or organized. Things besides laundry, housework, and the daily grind. I want to have a party. A “for no reason” BBQ with lots of Christian friends for fun, food, and fellowship. However, we still don’t have a grill. I should just go buy one of those cheap charcoal ones. I miss grilled meats and veggies.
I leave for Ohio in less than a month. That is going to be a good time. But it will be quick. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve never been away from my children, so 3 days will just about kill me in the heart. However, it’s going to be so nice seeing my family and being able to sleep for 2 nights with no baby monitor and to be selfish and all about me for a few days. That will be really nice. Nobody to think about, mother, or pamper. Ahhh. Yeah, that will be very nice.
I think this getting older thing has me down. Mostly related to child bearing. Advanced maternal age they tell me. Great. There are more tests for me to consider. More. I guess that’s good. It is. It’s good. But there are also more risks. Miscarriage. Chromosomal disorders. Downs syndrome. Blighted ovum. Molar pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy. And more. It’s hard to get excited about making a baby when it seems the odds are stacked against me.
Blase. Stuck in a rut.
How are you feeling today?
Click comments and tell me about it.