Candid Chatter

Just Say It

That One Day in September June 10, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 8:43 pm

Anxiety.

I’ll never, for the remainder of my life, forget what I saw on my TV screen the morning of September 11th as I was eating cereal in my apartment in Dublin, Ohio. I was watching the news waiting for word about weather and traffic. I was going into work late… can’t remember why. A straight-faced news reporter was talking about a plane that had struck the World Trade Center. It was burning in the background and replays of the tragedy were beginning to air. As she was talking, behind her head the 2nd plane struck. She didn’t see it coming, but her audience did. I did. I have never seen fear like that on anyone’s face. The reporter lost all emotion and was terrorized. Panic. What the hell just happened?! What the hell is happening?!

That day was like no other. That week. That month. That year.

Before September 11th I loved to fly.

Now. I. Hate. It.

I leave for Ohio a week from Friday. Straight flight. No stops. Two and a half hours. For the last 2 days I have been praying so hard for safety. I tell God it’s ok with me if I go to Heaven. I’m not worried about me. I worry about my children. My kids would be devastated to lose me. My husband would be shattered. Their lives would never be the same. Ripped at the seams.

Flying gives me anxiety. I am not comfortable with any of it. Airport security or not. I hate to fly. I have to prepare mentally and just grin and bear it during the travel. I immediately start thanking God as soon as we land.

My flight home is the same. Straight. No stops. Two and a half hours. I should be home by naptime on Sunday as long as there are no delays.

I can’t wait until I get home and I haven’t even left yet.

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7 Responses to “That One Day in September”

  1. I never did like flying and never will. I am so sorry that I can’t make this better for you. Flying scares the crap out of me. Sorry about that. It is alright to delete this comment.

  2. Ali Says:

    HR: Yeah, I get a bit anxious too but for me I just know that it is either my time or not – in all things. I know that ANYTHING can happen and I think about it a LOT more now that I have Regan. I just try to not get caught up in the anxiety of it and know that it will be a very cool sight seeing the land from the air. I have always like flight, but I do tend to get tummy rolls too. Tell your kids/husband/family you love them and you will see them soon! You will, you know that, …right?!!!!

  3. Mel Says:

    It scares the pee out of me too- and I am flying the day after you! I share your anxiety. I can guarantee that I will be sitting between my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law gripping the life out of their hands as we take off/land, and I will be checking out every single passenger on the plane to be sure none looks like a threat. It’s sad that’s what has become necessary. Thanks for the reminder I am flying in a week & a half- I was trying to forget!!! JK!
    :)Mel

  4. jalack Says:

    To bad you can’t get drunk before the flight……

  5. candidchatter Says:

    I told Bree that mommy is leaving for a few days. I’m trying to prepare her way ahead of time. Know what she said? “Mommy, I am going to miss you.” Brought tears to my eyes. “I’ll miss you too, baby, but I won’t be gone long.” 😦

    I am excited to see my family, esp my sister get married. But it’s bittersweet because I am NOT excited to leave my special loves of my life behind. Ho hum.

    Mel: Focus on the 25th. That will see you thru. LOL!

    Heidi

  6. Dave Carrol Says:

    Fear sucks…

    I’m glad that there is freedom from… well… EVERYTHING

  7. Ginger Bliss Says:

    Hey Girl,
    Thanks to Jen Garcia I was able to find your blog, you are a great writer. It was good to see you last week at Elisas, hope we can get together again soon. After you get back from your trip we should plan a play date at my house. I will be praying for you a safe, relaxing trip. I have yet to leave my children overnight for the same fears…what if something happens to me. May God give you peace and rest while you are away. I hope you come back refreshed. – Ginger


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