Candid Chatter

Just Say It

The Differences July 31, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 7:15 am

I still have a cold. Today it’s worse. Hopefully that means tomorrow it will be better. Jeremy is just about over his. Brianna probably feels like me: stuffed up, headache, cough. You know, the fun stuff.

Brianna is all signed up for preschool now. I found a private Christian one just a short distance from our house. I explained to them that I am apprehensive because of her timid nature outside of the house and they assured me she would be in the right place. They are sensitive and compassionate. The right mix for me.

And since I ranted about it a few days ago I’ve been praying and seeking God’s will for her and I have complete peace now. I am not upset anymore. I am not nervous. I am actually starting to look forward to the alone time I’ll have with Jeremy every morning 5 days a week. I’ve not had much time alone with him ever. So those will be sweet times until his little brother or sister arrives on the scene to mix it all up.

Oh and how I am looking forward to that. Watching all these birth story shows with Brianna is starting to bring it full circle for me. I don’t know really how to explain that. I haven’t felt as attached or as excited with this pregnancy.

When I was pregnant with Brianna, it was all I talked about. Ask my former co-worker, Becky. That poor woman had to hear me talk about each and every little thing day in and day out for 7 months. She is a patient woman, but I’m sure there were days she would have liked to drop kick me out into the parking lot. LOL! Hi Becky, if you’re reading this. I miss you!!

When I was pregnant with Jeremy I was actually more nervous than excited. And miserable. He made me huge. That was one giant belly. He kicked and twisted and bumped and hit me from the inside morning, noon, and night. He’s still very active. Stinker. I got little sleep the last trimester with him. I swore he’d be a 9 pounder, he seemed so heavy in there. I remember holding my stomach when I would stand for a long time b/c I always felt like he would just fall right through my skin onto the floor. Alas, he was only 7 lbs 8 oz.

So here comes this pregnancy and I’ve not been nearly as excited or maternal feeling. Maybe it is because I know what to expect. I’ve had a hard baby and an easy baby. I have a girl and a boy. I know what it’s like to lose a lot of sleep. I know the fear of having a sick baby (Jeremy had jaundice). I know what acid reflux and colic in a newborn can do to a sleep-deprived, postpartum me (that was Brianna). It’s ugly, by the way. I guess I’m just trying to relax more and worry less.

Anyway. I’m trying to coast through this one and even with all of the physical hardships I am happy to be carrying a healthy little one. Another active child too. In a couple of weeks I think I’ll be able to feel him/her from the outside. Much activity in there throughout the day. It’s neat.

Alright. I have no energy right now. I don’t think we’re going anywhere today. I have run myself ragged this week. It’s time to stay home and clean. My bathroom is disgusting. Ick!

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3 Responses to “The Differences”

  1. Sounds to me as if you are being a completely normal mother and mother-to-be…

    I think some of the excitement and nervousness wanes the more children you have…

    After all, I was the oldest…I always told my brother that my parents weren’t nearly as excited about him coming as they were me!

  2. candidchatter Says:

    I am the oldest of seven children. I have always told my siblings that my parents love me the most because they have loved me the longest. My youngest sister was telling me about a fun debate she had with another sister of ours over who is my dad’s favorite. Everyone KNOWS it is me. But they both swear it is them. Ha! They so totally wish. I just laugh and keep my knowledge in my heart. Yep. I’m his favorite. Always have been. Ok except for the time i was married to the devil. But since then and before then… his fav!

    heidi

  3. mommato3blessings Says:

    I remember feeling exactly the same way when I was expecting Ellie. That pregnancy was my first that I didn’t expect the universe to revolve around, lol! I was too busy chasing after Jake and Ashlyn, keeping the house- you know, actually living my life. Because once you have a couple other kids, you don’t have the time to focus on the new life forming- the lives that are already clinging to your legs demanding your constant attention would never allow that!!!
    I am so thrilled this pregnancy is going so well. Praise God!


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