Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Torn Because It Seems So Easy September 3, 2008

I spent about 2 hours the other night surfing the Internet for boobs. Yes, I said boobs. Not porno boobs. Not pin-up girl boobs. They were plastic surgery before and after boobs. I was boobie shopping.

It’s expensive to hire someone skilled in giving your chest an overhaul. I guess between $4500 and $10,000 depending on what you want done and your surgeon of choice. I think in this type of decision you don’t want to go for the cheapest guy because then you’ll end up with something very silly looking. You can’t get a deal like “buy one, get one free” either. And, even if you could, that is probably a bad omen right there. So I think you find someone with lots of experience who hangs out in the middle — around $6000.

I love the before and after photos. I find boobs that look like mine do and then I think “WOW” at the after pictures. WOWOWOWOWOW!!! I call my husband into my office, make sure seeing these pictures won’t give him any fantasies (LOL), and then show him what I’ve found. Now, I’ll have you know that my wavering decision is partly based on his reaction to the before vs the after. Please understand that my husband is an awesome man who would love me if I weighed 300 pounds and had no teeth. But, he is a man. A man. Yes, a man with a penis and balls and testosterone. A true man without defects.

He liked the after too. I knew it!!!

Why am I torn? First of all, that’s a bundle of money to invest in vanity. But — so is buying a BMW or a beautiful diamond or a boat or a big house or having a pool installed or remodeling your home or a new wardrobe or [fill in the blank]. Right? All of those things are unneccessary. And my new boobs would be something not only I would feel good about, but they would also bring my husband years and years of sexual pleasure. Who can disagree with that?

But I think about the vanity of it all and then I feel like maybe it is a stupid idea. Maybe saggy stretched out boobs from having 3 kids and trying to breastfeed and age and gravity is the way I should look. But I hate the way they look. I don’t hate the size. I just hate their out-of-shapeness. Blah!

I would not get new boobs to turn on other men. In fact, I won’t even tell you all if I decide to go through with it or not. My decision would be based on my own self-image and the ability to afford such a surgery.

But I have thought about it and researched it and I know a few women who have gone through with it.

Is there a moral issue here that needs to be addressed too? Would God approve of new boobs for me?

If you could afford cosmetic surgery
of any kind — would you do it?
If so, what would you have done?
If not, why not?

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14 Responses to “Torn Because It Seems So Easy”

  1. Holly Says:

    I spent a lot of hard work updating my upstairs last year.

    I am making plans to do the downstairs.

    Also – BK plans to buy a boat in the next year because getting out on the lake and fishing and enjoying a weekend on the water is what he loves, growing up in MN—it is all he knows.

    New clothes is vain too? I imagine you don’t really mean that, that maybe you mean having an obsession with brand names, like Dooney and Bourke or Prada and bragging about it is what is vain. But I see nothing wrong with being well put together and professionally presentable.

    Other people can live their lives different from you, and have different priorities than you – it does not mean that their heart is in the wrong place or that their relationship with God is any less than yours.

    I believe that a sin is a sin. period.

    I have premarital sex with my boyfriend. Ooops! Does that make me worse than someone abstaining from sex until marriage, yet riddled with jealousy and envy and prone to judge others?

    No! Both are sins.

    I spent too much money last month on food, drinks and vacation and didn’t give to Faith Mission last month like I typically do, matter of fact – I didn’t give to church or the or the Literacy Council this entire summer. Does that make me worse than the person judging me for not doing so?

    Nope.

    Like I have said before and will surely say again … THANK GOD for his sacrifice and having his son die for my sins. This way I can sleep at night knowing that GOD knows what is in my heart, in my neighbors heart, and in my colleagues heart – this way I don’t have to worry about them judging me, or me judging them! Whew – that would for sure keep me awake at night …

    If you want to get an enhancement to your fun bags … do it. Who cares? Guess what – people may judge you for it – but that is their sin, if you let their judging get to you and care what they think – that is your sin. Judging and vanity.

    WE are only human. You will get judged for it and you will be concerned about what people think. Live with it. I know it’s not easy, I go through fazes where I worry about whether or not my group of friends really like me or just tolerate me, but I like me and God loves me, so I sleep OK.

  2. Jason Says:

    In my opinion it is only vain if you are doing it to draw attention to yourself, if your intent is to enjoy some of the monetary blessing to improve your (and your lucky as a dog husband) “quality” of life then I think you should. But if you feel guilty about it and don’t have peace then you should donate all the money to the Buy Jason a New Bass Boat Charity Fund and feel good about that decision. I accept PayPal….
    In all seriousness if you are being a good stewart of your blessings than there really isn’t a problem with it.

  3. candidchatter Says:

    Holly: I know! I want a boat too and a BMW and a pretty diamond and a D&B purse(s) and designer clothes (yes, that’s what I meant by vain wardrobe) and new boobs and all that stuff. Ooo, and granite counters and slate flooring plus hardwood in other places and a pool in my backyard. I want it ALL baby!! But my issue (or internal struggle) is this… shouldn’t I be more concerned with humanity than I am with my own appearance? I guess that’s why I stated the moral issue — “would God approve”. That’s how I try to live — always thinking “would God approve”. It is not right or good to spend one’s life always thinking of what others might think of our actions or decisions. But there are a few people who matter to me — their opinion of me does. First of all, God matters most — then my husband and children. So I think beyond my nose on issues like these. What would God think? What would Rich think? What will my children think if they ever find out? Is that a good message to send them — esp Brianna? That’s why this is a tough decision. I care about the *message* others would receive if a Christian woman, like me, got a boob job and somehow people found out about it (beyond my trusted circle of In-The-Know peeps). KWIM? Anyway, I can’t wait to see how you redid your house. I know it probably looks AWESOME!! Send pix if you have any.

    Jason: You made me laugh so hard my kids came to my office to see what was up. That’s hysterical!!!! I don’t have the $$ for a boob job right now anyway. But in the event that I ever do, well…. ????? Will I? I am wrestling with it a bit.

    Heidi

  4. tonyyork Says:

    You pose some tough questions but for me, the only time I would consider surgery is when it was medically necessary. Every surgery where one is put under anesthesia comes with the risk of death along with other medical complications.

    What has your reading of the bible told you about this decision?

  5. bub Says:

    This has been a topic of conversation at our house as well. I think that Tony hit the nail on the head. It’s surgery. That’s what I told my wife. Surgery by it’s very nature is dangerous. I couldn’t imagine losing my wife because she (or we) wanted nicer boobs. Obviously there’s the selfish part of me that loves boobs, the nicer the better. I think that’s the moral dilemna for me. You want a nice car, ring, jewelry, hardwood floor, pool, awesome. You want to be cut open to please me, I’m going to have to say you please me just fine the way you are. Oh, and no surgery for me, but I could use some new teeth, lol.

  6. candidchatter Says:

    Tony: The anesthesia used for this surgery is different. It isn’t quite like the spinal block that I’ll get for my c-section/tubal ligation. It’s also not general like I got for my double umbilical hernia repair or the cyst removal from my wrist. It’s between the two. Less complicated than the latter, but I would be asleep unlike the former. The Bible — well since I’ve been knee deep in the Old Testament since January it has taught me that Abraham liked Sarah’s idea of sleeping with Haggar (she was younger and probably a lot firmer) even though Sarah was said to be very beautiful indeed. Eve was a knock-out. Esther was hot stuff too. Ruth was gorgeous. David fell so deeply for beautiful Bathsheba that he murdered her husband. God still called him “a man after my own heart”. Solomon had over 1000 wives and concubines (a diff pair of boobs almost every single day for 2 years). Jacob worked his rear end off for the beautiful and more desirable of two sisters — Rachel. He even loved her sons the most of all of his children. Then there is Samson and Delilah, which might be a bad example seeing as how she betrayed him. However, if she hadn’t been so daggone beautiful he might not have paid her much attention. Anyway, it certainly shows that men LOOVE a pretty gal. God makes certain women stunningly beautiful to attract the men. I don’t know, Tony. He’s pretty silent on cosmetic or false ways to enhance beauty. At least as far as I can tell. What do you have to throw my way??

    Bub: Yes, anesthesia is risky. It is. I need to look up statistics about deaths during plastic surgery. I know if a person hasn’t had any bad experiences with general anesthesia then the risk of something going bad in subsequent surgeries is miniscule. We’re talking thousands of people undergoing anesthesia — and maybe a very small percentage having problems. I’ll check to be sure, but I’ve had several surgeries and I don’t even puke after they wake me up. I’m usually out of recovery in less than an hour — even for a spinal block which paralyzes me from the chest down. I have good recovery rates and no bad reactions. This is something in my favor. Others might not fare as well. My husband, for instance, pukes every single time he has surgery under GA. My mother-in-law has had to be revived on the operating table. Scary. But I’m quick to recover and quick to heal.

    Not that either of these comments I’ve just made reveals my decision to go for it or not. I’m just saying…

    Heidi

  7. Hi there… We don’t know each other, but I also have a blog on here, and its all about the breast augmentation process I’m going through.

    I think everyone will have their own opinion, which they’re entitled to. I am having surgery on Tuesday (9/9), for a modest enhancement to add some fullness where there currently is none.

    I have heard the spectrum of responses from my loved ones… from “you go girl!” to “you don’t NEED this!” and I have cherished them all because they’re all from people who love me.

    At the same time, it was ultimately my decision, and knowing the risks, and small (although real) possibility of complications, I decided I was going through with it.

    Ultimately, its your decision that you make for your own reasons. I, too, thought it was a little vain, until I thought more about it. I wasn’t doing it to show them off, or to make money off of them. Just for a little “extra”. That’s not so bad.

  8. Okay…I’m going to comment…The only reason you should do this is for yourself…no one else…not even Rich. You are a grown up, and old enough to make the decision for yourself. You need to be happy with who you are and how you look…if surgery does that for you, then, go for it.

    If this were my wife, I’d tell her no way! We are all inadequate or over blessed in way too many ways. Heck…I’m bald and I hate it! I started going bald at 21…and finally ditched the cover over when I turned 35 or so…everyone else but me knew that I was bald…or accepted it…I just kept the combover because I didn’t want to go bald…or be bald…or look old.

    But, I’m not going to go through surgery to correct it, and truthfully, have you ever seen a good looking toupe? NO!

    So…I’m bald…your boobs are drooping…when I’m 80, I’ll still be bald…and I bet that no matter whether you have the surgery or not, your boobs will be drooping again later!

    So…go for it if you must…otherwise…just accept where you are and how you look…I’m sure Rich has no complaints!

  9. Debateur Says:

    Honestly I was thinking about writing an article on plastic surgery it’s really an issue I’m torn on. I had my nose broken by accident when I was in my early 20s and elected not to have plastic surgery but I think that was motivated by fear rather than anything else. I hope you’re not offended if you see a plastic surgery post on my blog some day. You’re not the only one who struggles with it I’m sure.

    Bottom line I think you will make the best decision for you and I’m confident that God will support you in whatever you decide.

  10. candidchatter Says:

    Lisette: Good luck, girl!!! Thanks for your comment.

    Steve: I really appreciate your insight. I do. Thanks for your honesty.

    My friend “D”: Post away. I’ll be interested to see what your debating friends have to say about it anyway. Go for it!!

    Heidi

  11. tonyyork Says:

    Heidi,

    I really didn’t have anything to throw your way concerning scripture when I wrote the comment. My statement was merely a question to see how God was directing your decision.

    I do appreciate that the risk from the type of anesthesia that you would receive would be smaller than GA… its still cutting into your body and there could be unwanted side affects.

    When I start to consider parts of my body that I may not like and have no control over like losing hair, I remember what David said in Psalms 139 – “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I think there must be some balance in when to have surgery because God did give the surgeons the intelligence to correct so many ailments. God formed my daughter with Spina Bifida and she is still fearfully and wonderfully made… yet we use the wisdom the doctors have to make her life more comfortable or to correct issues that have cropped up that would have ended her life. Some people would argue that nothing should have been done to extend her life or to make her more comfortable because whatever happens is God’s will. So it can be tough to understand where the distinction lies between when to have surgery and when not to have.

    There is the aspect of stewardship which you brought up….and that does apply to more than just cosmetic updates. It can and should extend to all the major decisions in our lives from house purchases, cars, wardrobe and so forth. But again it is difficult to make a clear cut line that should or shouldn’t be crossed. There is a statement in Luke that I think that applies when it comes to stewardship – “To whom much is given, much is required.” This is an area in my life that I continue to re-evaluate and look for ways to align my decisions with what the bible says. Its scary tough.

    As far as vanity, only you can answer what your motivations are for considering a cosmetic update.

    A friend once told me that we are good at rationalizing the things that we want.

    My only advice would be to seek counsel from godly women that you trust.

  12. candidchatter Says:

    Tony: Rationalize is the word of the day. Seriously. I could very easily rationalize cosmetic surgery. Too easily. But I want these insights — esp from people like you who share my faith. So thank you for coming here and helping me with this one. I still don’t know, but I am in no position financially right now to make or break this decision. It is something that has been on my mind off and on since I had my son and saw my “girls” age 15 years. It made me sad and turned my attention longingly to regaining what I once had.

    Heidi

  13. daphne Says:

    I got some new boobs when I went in for a hystorectomy and 3 other surgical repairs to my girl junk. Best $5000 I ever spent on my marriage and self.

    I will be honest with you though. My origional surgery had complications that forced me to have the entire left breast redone. Once I get power back home I will email you my pics. CRAZY.

    I do not have email yet to talk with you about this one on one but go through my blog and you will see it is a tough decission, tough journey and tough result to live with. Grace & Peace, daphne

  14. candidchatter Says:

    Daphne: Yes, send me pix when you’re up and running again. Are you all ok? You must live somewhere near where Gustav hit. I’m so sorry!! We are in the line of fire for Ike. Scary stuff. I’ll search your site too.

    Heidi


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