Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Hilarious E-mails September 27, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 7:01 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I get some really funny stuff. This is from my Aunt Lori. It is just what I needed after a really, really, really, really, really… long day yesterday. It was a good day — just super long because I was super tired. Anyway… laugh out loud ya’ll!!

Q:  Should I have a baby after 35?
A:  No, 35 children is enough.

Q:  I’m two months pregnant now.  When will my baby
move?
A:  With any luck, right after he finishes
college.

Q:  What is the most reliable method to determine a
baby’s sex?
A:  Childbirth

Q:  My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that
sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A:  So what’s your question?

Q:  My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain
I’ll feel during labor, but pressure.  Is she right?
A:  Yes, in the same way that a tornado might
be called an air current.

Q:  When is the best time to get an epidural?
A:  Right after you find out you’re
pregnant.

Q:  Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room
while my wife is in labor?
A:  Not unless the word “alimony”
means anything to you.

Q:  Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from
childbirth?
A;  Yes, pregnancy.

Q:  Do I have to have a baby shower?
A:  Not if you change the baby’s diaper
very quickly.

Q:  Our baby was born last week.  When will my wife begin
to feel and act normal again?
A:  When the kids are in college.

ESTROGEN ISSUES”

WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “ESTROGEN ISSUES”

1.    Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2.    You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese
omelet.

3.    The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4.    Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you
say.

5.    You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every
bumper sticker that says:  “How’s my driving – call
1-800….

6.    Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to
batting practice.

7.    You can’t believe they don’t make tampons
bigger than Super Plus.

8.    You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive
you crazy.

9.    The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it
yesterday.

Advertisements
 

4 Responses to “Hilarious E-mails”

  1. […] candidchatter wrote an interesting post today onbHilarious/b E-mailsHere’s a quick excerptSometimes I get some really funny stuff. This is from my Aunt Lori. It is just what I needed after a really, really, really, really, really… long day yesterday. It was a good day — just super long because I was super tired. b…/b […]

  2. Debateur Says:

    Love it Love it love it !!

    I remember being told the same hogwash about pressure instead of pain. Ha humbug.

  3. Ali Says:

    Personally, #5 on the 2nd list would likely be me – EVENTUALLY, I don’t have Estrogen issues, yet!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s