- That I played in your tools
- That I messed up the garage
- That I asked Grandpa if his pubic hair was gray like the hair on his head
- That I poured Drano in the fish tank
- That I stomped on that huge bug and then screamed when its guts squirted all over my legs
- That I kicked you in the crotch that one time
- That I made you go bald — I’m sure that was mostly my fault
- That I wrecked my bike into your car
- That I climbed on the roof out of your bathroom window when I was supposed to be taking a shower
- That I wrecked the Camaro the day I got my driver’s license
Dad — thank you that despite all the hell I put you through and all the names I called you and all the times I snuck out of the house to do God only knows what — thank you that despite all of that you are still my Dad and you still take time to talk to me on the phone and laugh with me over these things. I don’t know how you survived 19 years with me under your roof, but you did and we did and thank you. You provided so well for all of us. You make me laugh till I cry.
I Love You Maniac Dad (lol).
Your Maniac Daughter,