Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Change November 24, 2008

Something is brewing. I can feel it. I have felt like this before.
I’m on the edge of something new. Old is fading. New is hatching.

It’s a God thing. Of course it is. It always is when these things stir within.

Here’s the deal. I want several things. I mean I really want them. Like a side-by-side front load washer and dryer combo. And not the cheap versions either. No. I want the ones that cost upwards of 3 grand. However, my current washer and dryer work just fine.

I want a new digital camera. But not just any digital camera. No. I want one that costs almost $1000. Why? Because photography is my hobby. I will never try to be a paid photog. But I love taking pictures and editing them and looking at them over and over being amazed that God gave me such a keen eye for detail. It’s fun.ย It’s my artistic outlet.

I want jewelry. I’ll tell you what. I need another piece of jewelry like I need punched in the eyeball. But still I look and I deal and I get the price I want and then I buy.

What is wrong with this? I’m not sure there is anything wrong with it.
Everybody wants things. More things. Better things. We all do.

Three more people I care very much about lost their jobs in the past 2 weeks. They are all married and they all have children. One got a severence package. One lost his entire pension along with his job. I’m not sure about the third one, but losing your job is bad enough.

As I stand there like a deer caught in the headlights when I’ve been told these things,ย deep down inside of me I am thanking God with every fiber in my body that Rich is doing well. And for some weird reason I also feel guilty. Grateful and guilty. Why guilty? Because we are fine and they are afraid.

This is the story of America right now.ย Someone has something going down. Someone will lose their job today. Someone will lose their house today. Someone will lose their car today. Someone will declare bankruptcy today. Someone will lose. A lot of someones.

Change is happening. Sometimes I look at this and I think it’s not such a bad thing for Americans to relearn budgeting and living within their means. I mean, what the heck is wrong with that? That’s how it should have been all along. But we got greedy. We all did. Me, you, them. Everyone.

Change isn’t just happening in our society. It’s happening within me.

The things I want are starting to pale in comparison with the things that are needed globally. I have a washer and dryer. They both work fine. What right do I have wanting a luxury combo when there are many, many women around our world who have never even seen a washer or a dryer? What a selfish thing to want.

I can no longer see my wants and just go for it. What I now see are the hungry, dirty faces of poverty stricken people. They need shoes. They need food. They need medicine. They need love. They need homes. They need help. They need us.

I can’t help but think — even in our current economic “crisis” — that if Americans would stop spending so much money on themselves and step out to help the hurting people in this world that our world would look a whole lot like it should.

If Christians would walk the talk. I mean really do it. Stop storing up rotting treasures on earth and start storing up glorious treasures in heaven… Imagine the impact that would have globally.


Imagine if I dropped the whole boob job issue, the material wants, the dinners and lunches out, the random toys for my kids, and the whole nonsensical way I sometimes spend our money. What if I donated more instead? What if I bought and cooked an ENTIRE Thanksgiving dinner for the family down the street? What if I ate normal food on Thanksgiving and gave someone in need my feast? What if I bought more shoes? What if I sponsored more missionaries? What if I gave a flip more for humanity than I do for my clean clothes? What if?

What if you did?

What if we all did?

Change is good.


21 Responses to “Change”

  1. Agree Heidi. Change is good. It is even better if it is voluntary rather than be forced upon us (like losing a job). For several years I have felt a growing uneasiness with the way Christmas is done. I want to scale back but how to convince the others of that? I have almost written a letter twice now to my two daughters telling them if they insist on buying me something then set a limit (say $20 for example) and anything over that give the cash to me to send elsewhere or they can send it in my name. Maybe I can start a family change with just that email. Good post my friend!

  2. Great post, and very timely.

    Now, it sure hurts at this time of the year. The world and yes, even the church, is so into materialism…I know it must break God’s heart to where we have allowed ourselves to be…

    I have a feeling you’ve touched many, many hearts…

  3. Lorna Says:

    I am having the exact same feelings stirring inside of me. Our church is preparing a week mission in Haiti to help the poor starving people there and iit seems everywhere I turn, I am suddenly seeing and hearing about Haiti. I am stirred to buy my children less Christmas gifts this year and spend more of the budget on the my neighbors that are homeless. I am stirred to purchase extra canned goods and donate them to our church. I am stirred to clean out my closets and donate clothing to the needy, I am stirred to write checks to charity, I am stirred to help out my in laws pay their rent and help pay their utilities,…..and still I feel it’s not enough. I feel I am being called for something more. I feel it too.

  4. candidchatter Says:

    Bill: If done with sensitivity (which I’m sure you can handle) then your e-mail could start a new family tradition — spending less and giving more to the needy. Two years ago we gave gifts “In Honor Of” and the recipients were overjoyed. In fact, my sister-in-law cried when she saw we gave “In Honor Of” her daughters to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. She and her husband are wealthy and they told us not to buy gifts that year. Well, not giving makes us uncomfortable so we gave to a charity instead. Maybe your daughters will do that for you? We gave “In Honor Of” my in-laws to two different charities — the American Heart Assoc and the American Diabetes Assoc (my father-in-law has diabetes and a heart condition). They were deeply touched too. Just an idea.

    Steve: Thanks for the encouragement brother.

    Lorna: It’s sort of hard, isn’t it? Fighting the flesh all the time. But it seems God is winning b/c I just won’t spend the dough this year. We even put our kids on a strict budget. I am all done Christmas shopping. That’s hard too b/c I keep seeing things they would like, but I haven’t given in. I have instead been opening my pocket book to just about every charity that makes me tremble with the realization of such dire need.

    Giving to charity isn’t for everyone. I truly believe you should give where you are called to give — donations, time/service, or talents. But living within our means is for everyone and that should be resounding in these tough economic times. We should be thinking less of our selfish wants and more about what really matters — our needs and the needs of others.


  5. debateur Says:

    I too have a problem with Christmas. Last year I confess I went really overboard with gifts for my daughter so this year she’s making her list but we’re only getting a few and we will just explain that Santa chooses from the list.

  6. Ivan Says:

    You won’t like this but one Christmas we actually fled to an Islamic country (we had our reasons which I’ve mentioned here elsewhere). Even without our reasons, it was quite refreshing: just another day.

    Re giving: mind you don’t burn yourself out.

  7. candidchatter Says:

    Food for thought…

    A rule that my husband and I agreed upon before we were married in regards to Christmas, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc is that we WILL NOT EVER put gifts on credit. EVER!! We use cash ALWAYS and we budget every single person we give to. As a result, we have NEVER had that January bank statement come in the mail that seems to give so many people such grief. We don’t know what that feels like and I am here to tell you we have never had a complaint over a “cheap” gift yet. Save, start early, shop sales, and do not use credit and you’ll be sooooooo happy in January.


  8. Heidi: thanks for the good words. My plan is to give to Crystal Peak Youth Ranch in Oregon. Troy & Kim Meeder use the ranch to heal horses and people, especially kids. Glad to hear of your suggestions. That was cool what you & your hubby (Rich?) did for your wealthy relatives. Maybe we can start a revolution.

  9. Joe Blackmon Says:

    “…Imagine if I dropped the whole boob job issue,….”

    I’m sorry, I’m going to need a judges ruling on that one.


  10. Will_nottheactor Says:

    Heidi, FYI, in India, they use washing machines to make Lassi, a popular frothy Indian beverage. I saw a print ad for this in a magazine, but found this commercial also. Thought you’d get a kick.

    Thanks for opening your heart on this subject – it’s very relevant. We need to be sure to pray for those folks, as well as missions organizations that are helping the hurting.

    And I have to agree with Joe, red flag haas been tossed for a challenge on the play, demanding an official review. That little line came out of left field…were you trying to sneak it by us? ๐Ÿ˜›

  11. candidchatter Says:

    Will: I’ll check out those links after the kids go to bed. They are wolfing down some mac-n-cheese and hotdogs in hopes of receiving some ice cream. LOL! What I’ll do to get my kids to eat. Sheesh!

    Joe and Will: Awww. You two haven’t been around long enough I guess. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Click here and you’ll read my previous post about a boob job. I am still undecided and waver between no and yes. Seriously though it doesn’t matter right now what I say cuz I don’t have the $$$ to do that anyway.

    Bill: Great charity!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚


  12. Alison Says:

    Thanks Heidi! Love ya girl. (That is all I’m gonna say at this point)

  13. Joe Blackmon Says:

    Ok, that just goes to show you if you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I feel like I did when my sister told me my dad was impotent after his prostate cancer surgery. At first I thought “Mom told her and she didn’t tell me”. Then I thought “That is one conversation I NEVER want to have with my mother”. And then after that “Why could God not have struck me deaf while my sister was talking–just temporarily”.

    I’m sorry, did sharing all that creep you out, Heidi? ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. candidchatter Says:

    Joe: Not at all. I don’t creep out very easily. You’ll get to know that about me after awhile. I am pretty into talking about things “you just don’t talk about” using either the correct terms or slang terms — doesn’t really shock me or anything. I want to be a nurse so words like prostate and impotent don’t do anything to me other than make me want to research more information about them. So worry not, my friend. It’s all good over here. But your comment made me laugh. Two of my closest friends are all creeped out that my kids say penis and vagina regarding their private parts (they are 2 and 4). I’m like “well what the heck to you call it”? Uhh. I think one tells her daughter it’s a “tah tah” and the other tells hers it’s a “hoo hoo”. ROFL!! I’m sorry, but that TOTALLY cracks me up. TMI — right?? Bet you’re real sorry you commented today now, huh? ๐Ÿ˜€


  15. candidchatter Says:



  16. Joe Blackmon Says:

    Nah, not sorry.

    I can just see it, though. The decisions you’d have to make while “shopping”:

    “I can’t decide between the Jennifer Love-Hewitt’s or the Halle Berry’s. Which do you think, honey?”

  17. candidchatter Says:

    Joe: Yeah, it goes something like that. We have already decided we don’t like Christina Aguilera’s or Tara Reid’s. LOL!!!


  18. Joe Blackmon Says:

    I can’t believe you asked him to come look at boobies to see if he liked them. Heck, if my wife asks me “Do you think she’s pretty?” I know the right answer, no matter who she’s talking about, is “No”.

  19. candidchatter Says:

    Joe: No matter what he says I can see it on his face. He does his best to seem unemotional or unaffected (can’t think of the right word to put there), but his twinkling eyes tell the whole story. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Most of the pictures I have shown him are of before & after shots taken by a Plastic Surgeon. They are in no way pornographic. Just a woman’s chest before and after. I show him before shots and say “see that one looks like me now”. Then I show him the after shots and say “and that’s what I could look like after”. I can tell he approves. The problems I’m facing (besides financial) are mostly moral. I know Plastic Surgery is necessary for some people for a lot of different reasons. But a boob job? I’m not so sure that’s a godly thing to do even though it’s for my self-confidence and my husband’s pleasure. I just don’t know yet. Until I have 6 grand to blow it isn’t really a decision that needs to be made. But the thought is there and so is the desire. I know my hunk of burnin’ love husband would be fine with it or fine without it. The final verdict is mine alone.

    We were out a couple Saturdays ago and went to a festival in another town. There were quite a few scantily clad females. Two of them definitely had major boob overhauls. Their boobs were so enormous it was hard for me not to stare. I can’t imagine how the men were faring. Anyway, I assured my husband that “a” I am not interested in giant boobs and “b” I would not allow them to be exposed to anyone other than him. He told me if I got giant boobs or starting dressing like a whore he’d be embarrassed of me. See? It’s not about looking like a porn star. It’s about feeling sexy about myself in the confines of my bedroom with my husband as the only audience. That’s it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    So is that wrong? I don’t know.


  20. Joe Blackmon Says:

    I’m just picking at you. Have a good Thanksgiving.

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