Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Differing Opinions February 4, 2009

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 6:01 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I am learning so much about being a Mom right now. I consider myself a veteran for the most part, however there are a few things I didn’t know. Because of this new information, I have been asking a lot of questions to friends of mine who have experienced what I am experiencing now. And you know what — some of them differ greatly in how they answer my questions. It’s very interesting.

I take what I can use from each of them and leave the rest. This is how life is done anyway. And it’s working.

Motherhood doesn’t come naturally. Sure the pregnancy is pretty natural. The birth can be totally natural too. My friend LB has given birth to all 3 of her children as naturally as one can. She’s a trooper! But, after that, it’s mostly trial and error. Things start to come together and may seem natural, but really it’s that Mom and Baby have learned a few things from one another. A Mommy learns what different sounding cries mean. Babies learn their Mother’s voice and unique touch and take comfort in that familiarity.

Breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally either. The body’s ability to produce milk to sustain the life of a growing child is totally natural. The ins and outs of feeding the Baby are learned. Trial and error.

Babies are resilient. It serves a parent good to remember that — especially when guilt feelings surface. Am I holding the baby enough? Am I talking to the baby enough? Am I bonding with the baby enough? Am I drinking enough water for milk production? Is giving a pacifier to the baby a good thing or a bad thing? Is lack of sleep causing me to resent the baby? And so on…

My Mom has not given me much advice unless I’ve asked for it. She’s very wise like that. My Mother-in-law is fairly similar in that she does not interfere and I think she can tell when she’s on the edge of “the line” and she won’t cross it. She’s wise too. My Sisters and my Sister-in-law are available whenever I call upon them. My friends are greatly supportive too. It’s important for a Mother to have a large pool of women from which she can draw upon. I am so blessed in that regard.

But not all of them agree. And the good thing is, none of them will insist that I do it their way and only their way. It’s sort of an unspoken thing that all Moms know. We all know that it’s ok to give advice and it’s ok to tell how we do things with our own kids, but it’s not ok to insist another Mother do it like we do it. We have a silent understanding that not all parents are the same and it’s a good thing.

It’s a good thing.

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4 Responses to “Differing Opinions”

  1. I wonder if parenting is God’s sense of humor to remind us how much He loves us, how much we don’t know, and how much we need Him. Somedays all ya’ can do is look up! 🙂 You are doing great!!! I am so proud of you.

    xoxoxo,
    Roxx

  2. candidchatter Says:

    Thanks Roxx — xo!

  3. Will_nottheactor Says:

    God did tell us to raise each child as they are bent, and He certainly knows they are not all bent the same!! Thus what works for one, may or may not work for another child, whether they are both your kids, or someone elses.

    My two kids are opposites in so many ways and each needed unique parenting styles, but have turned out ok.

  4. Ivan Says:

    > none of them will insist that I do it their way
    > and only their way.

    That’s very good. It isn’t always like that.

    Apparently the baby’s suck-swallow association is learned too. Sucking is natural; swallowing is natural; but putting it together the baby has to figure out for themself.


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