Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Decisions Are Tough Sometimes February 24, 2009

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 5:23 am

I feel the need to cut back on my internet time.

Funny thing is… it’s harder than I thought it would be.

Am I addicted?
I don’t think that’s it at all.

What I am struggling with is trying to reconfigure my down time. I need to exercise. I need to keep up with my house better. I need to get down on the floor and play with the older kids (I haven’t done this since I was 5 months pregnant because it was physically impossible). I need to do yard work. Did I mention exercise?

Anyway…

I am canceling “Blogger Fitness Challenge” on Wednesdays and the contest for my blog stats hitting 100,000. Call me lame if you want, but those two things have the potential to keep me tied to my computer chair when I really need to be elsewhere instead. They make me feel obligated to a certain degree and I don’t want to feel that way.

Jaxon is more alert these days too, which adds to my neglect of the world wide web. Soon, sooner than I can blink twice, he’ll be sitting up, then crawling, then walking and I will no longer have down time. I need to enroll in school again too. I’d like to take a couple of courses online this summer if I can. Bye bye “me time”.

This blog provides me with the adult conversation I sometimes desperately need throughout my day. I can be 100% me here and I’m comfortable expressing myself very point blank. I think that’s why I don’t want to let go so fast. I don’t want my identity to get lost in kidville somewhere down whiner lane. When I come here I’m Heidi Reed period. Not Mommy, not wife, not fixer of messes, broken toys, and broken hearts. I’m not the taxi cab or the medicine giver. I’m not grocery go getter or shoelace tier. I’m me. Just me.

Anyway… sacrifice is a part of parenting. Much of that sacrifice comes in the form of giving up a little piece of yourself. So here goes another little piece of me. {poof}

I’ll be around. Just not as much. It’s hard too. Cuz you are a part of my life inside my brain. Some of you have become friends. I’m going to miss my daily doses of your blogs. I’m going to miss interacting with you on mine. I’ll miss the e-mails and watching my stats go through the roof (I nearly hit 1000 per day for a few days and it was very exciting for me). I’m going to miss finding funny pictures to upload to my posts. I’m going to miss the fellowship with those of you who are family in Christ. I’ll miss the prayers.

I’ll miss you. I’ll still pray for you though.

And I’ll be around. Here and there.

Until we meet again…
Bye now.

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6 Responses to “Decisions Are Tough Sometimes”

  1. Lorna Says:

    Thanks for being here Heidi Reed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and allowing us to learn that maybe we are all more alike than not. I think if there had been social internet when I was raising my children, I wouldn’t have felt the need to return to work and the adult world so quickly. And yes, it will happen in a blink of an eye. Be with you children, love them, enjoy them. But do come back and share with us.

    Thanks for being my internet friend. I’ll be praying for you Sistah.
    XOXO,
    Lorna

  2. Heidi…you will be missed…no doubt by thousands…but all I care about is me! 🙂

    I understand the separation with the blog…I’ve been going through that to some degree for the last few months. It’s a personal decision, one that is hard to make, but priorities must be determined, and only you can make that decision.

    Hope this break will be brief…and you’ll be back in full swing in no time!

  3. Tony York Says:

    Completely understand. Trying to wear too many hats can make your head heavy.

  4. Yes, it’s actually me. Thanks for all your prayers. Mine are with you, continually, promise (not just saying that) you enjoy your babies, and I’ll enjoy these precious angels of mine because like you say it won’t last (and life’s too short to spend it wanting what you can’t have when you’ve got more than you could have dreamed) thanks for helping pray me back to reality! I love you! (Weird huh, we’ve never even met! :))!

  5. Will miss you tremendously m’lady. Just read the hiatus one. Say it ain’t so! Just kidding. Prioritizing life sometimes stinks but has to be done. I thank you for the blog friendship, for the comments and encouragement and will continue praying for you each day.

  6. I forgot. I need my ego stroked. How about sending your readers my way? 🙂


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