Candid Chatter

Just Say It

What Are We Doing Wrong? April 27, 2009

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 5:29 am

My beautiful little 3 year old boy has a nervous twitch.
If you could hear my heart breaking…

I noticed about 2 weeks ago. He blinks too tightly and too much. Do you know what I mean?

At first, I thought he had sand in his eye. I kept trying to help him with this invisible sand, hair, dirt, sleepie gunk that had to be in his eye because why else would he be blinking like that? He kept telling me nothing was in his eye.
“Why are you blinking like that, then?”
“Like what?”, was his response.

He doesn’t realize he’s doing it.

My brother displayed a nervous reaction to my sister Holly’s birth. He started to st-st-st-st-stutter and he created an imaginary friend. My parents said, with time, both issues resolved all on their own.

But to know me in reality you’d know that I over analyze everything. Even trivial things.

What have I done wrong?
Don’t I pay enough attention to him?
Does Jaxon’s crying bother him too much?
Does he feel left out?
Am I ignoring his needs?
What am I missing?
What are we doing wrong?

My sweet Jeremy. If ever a boy has stolen my heart, it’s you. I don’t think anyone on this planet has ever loved me as much as you do. Not even your sister, as affectionate as she is. I want to help you, son. I’m so sorry you’re nervous or stressed out or whatever is causing you to twitch. I love you, my little guy… I’ll try to help. I’ll try to create a calmer and more loving environment for you. I’d move to the moon if I thought it would help you. Love, Mommy



3 Responses to “What Are We Doing Wrong?”

  1. Andee' Says:

    Hey….. actually, Mattie has the same twitch. More when she is tired though. And, my good friend throughout high school, Todd, had the same thing… it was tourets syndrome. But he also had a clearing the throat thing and head bob twitch…. i dunno. Maybe talk to mom and see what docs have said about Mattie. She does it too…. maybe its genetical and thats why the both of them do it. ???????

  2. Ivan Says:

    Dear Heidi

    My heart almost breaks for you reading this.

    It’s normal for a small child to be a bit stressed when a new baby arrives, no? And if he’s three it’s fairly normal that he can’t or won’t verbalise it.

    I think I would ignore it — or rather not mention it explicitly, don’t draw attention to it or let on that you notice it. Maybe when you notice it give him an extra little snug en passant. If possible maybe do favourite “pre-Jaxon” things together, or just hanging out quietly together. We only have one child of course, so I’m speaking strictly out of my hat.

    I really can’t imagine you as a half-hearted slap-dash absent-minded mother. You do come over a bit full-on sometimes, but I’m sure he’s used to that;)

  3. candidchatter Says:

    I’m somewhere btw the two of you. He has a doc appt on Thursday. I wasn’t worried at first, but as the days go on and the twitch sticks around I am getting a bit frazzled by it.

    Brianna was home from school for Spring Break and she’s his best friend. He misses her so much when she’s gone at school. So since she was home and then had to go back to school, maybe that has affected him.

    Then 2 weeks after she went back to school his Dad (my husband) went out of town for a week for work. He has also been working a lot of extended hours and doesn’t see the kids much (5 to 10 min in the morning and that’s it). Even on weekends, with his service in our church, he only really sees the kids on Saturday — Sunday is so full of church. That is about to change though. I cannot tolerate it any longer and I think some things, when they disrupt the family, can be bad even though they’re good. Does that make sense?

    I’ll see what his doc says. I want to rule out any neurological type issues. Once we rule those out, I’ll feel better.

    Thanks for the comments you two. 🙂

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