Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Am I In or Am I Out? June 29, 2009

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 5:50 am

I am getting sick of the Internet.

Really sick of it.

However, I come here daily. Several times a day, in fact.

I come here for the adult “conversation”. I come here to laugh. I come here to debate. I come here to stir up something so I can turn the table and make it spiritual or align it with the Will of the Father. I come here to do Kingdom work. Sometimes it is purposeful. Sometimes it is for entertainment.

I’d rather read a blog or catch up on Facebook than watch TV.
I’d rather check out Fox News than watch the news on TV. Heck, I can’t watch the news on TV for fear something will be said or shown that is inappropriate for my young kids.
I don’t have time to carry on a real conversation on the phone any longer so I e-mail.
I don’t have to go to the library to research anything. I can just Google search it.
I can even sign up for and go to college online.

Sometimes I seriously consider closing my blog and deleting my Facebook account.
I don’t use Twitter. I refuse.
I don’t use MySpace either. Too childish.
I deleted about half of the blogs I had subscribed to on my Google reader about 4 months ago. No time.
Am I getting close to disappearing from Internet land for awhile?

I’ve taken time off here and there. But, when I do that I get bored and pace my house or get ideas that always cost money. I’ll take the kids to fun places, but that also costs money usually. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes a little.

I’ve often wondered if it’s so bad being on the computer. It’s probably not. But, inside this thing wells up telling me that I shouldn’t. Guilt? Maybe. But, why? I don’t neglect my family. I don’t neglect my duties. I sometimes avoid housework, but who doesn’t. The other day I did not want to clean the inside of my house so I went outside and trimmed the bushes instead. I was still avoiding the inside work.

I still read my Bible. I still pray. I’m not letting it interfere with my spiritual growth. Sometimes I even use the Internet to help with my studies. So that’s not an issue.

Why do I occasionally think I should not be online? Millions of people are online every single day for one reason or another. Why do I think I shouldn’t be?

I don’t know.

Am I missing anything by being here?
I don’t think so anyway.

Am I lacking a life?
Not even close.
I have a wonderful life and awesome family and loving husband.
I have great friends.
I belong to a fantastic church body.
I feel like I’m on the go more often than not unless it’s laundry day or take a break from being in the van day or Mommy is too sick to drive day (which has been happening a lot more than usual lately).

What is it then?

Does anyone else who spends time online connecting with others socially (not work related) feel this way?


9 Responses to “Am I In or Am I Out?”

  1. jimmy paravane Says:

    OK, but don’t you aliens have a question that you can apply to circumstances like this? What Would that Jesus guy Do? (grin)

  2. Lorna Says:

    Yes, I feel this way occasionally. And here is why I think the guilt rolls in on me. I can have a complete conversation without ever opening my mouth. I’m not so sure that is a good thing. I mean monks don’t talk and it replenishes their spirit with God. But in my case I wonder if I prefer an internet conversation to a real life face to face one and sometimes the answer is yes. Because I can choose who and what to respond to and I can totally ignore responding to a conversation that people didn’t even know I was “listening in” on. I can also turn it off whenever I want with just a click of a button.

    Just my two cents and who I think about it.

  3. candidchatter Says:

    Jimmy: It’s too trivial for that. πŸ˜‰

    Lorna: I never even considered that angle. Hmm.

  4. jimmy paravane Says:

    ooh, I’m gonna get in trouble for this one. See, the only reason I ever bring up the WWJD thingy is I already know the answer. Whatever the Father wanted him to do. Even in the trivial stuff. Told ya I was gonna get in trouble. (grin)

  5. candidchatter Says:

    Jimmy: You might be right. I just don’t know, really. Can you tell? I can’t make up my mind. I am alone with 3 kids under age 5 all day every day. Sometimes being online while they play, eat, sleep… well, it keeps me sane. Gives me that adult connection I sometimes need. Does that make sense? And, as I typed that the baby started to cry. See ya! πŸ™‚

  6. Ivan Says:

    You make a lot of sense. Adult social interaction is very important.

    Social interaction over the internet can feel rather ersatz, and in a way it is ersatz, but at the same time it enables kinds of interaction that would be difficult or impossible otherwise, or that just wouldn’t happen.

    You … one needs something to keep one sane. Within reason it doesn’t matter what it is, what matters is the effect (and, I suppose, that it doesn’t become a distraction or a real substitute).

    When our son was tiny and I was embroiled in all the hurly-burly of caring for an infant, I seemed to have no time at all to do anything, but lots of random shards of time with nothing to do. I got into poetry, and ended up reading the entire Oxford book of English Verse. Found out my favourite poet was Gerard Manley Hopkins.

  7. Heidi, a friend of mine wrote a similar post and I commented on hers.. Since I dont’ have the energy to really respond right now (LONG week already), I’m going to copy and paste my comment here.. You’ll forgive me right?

    Her post:

    My comment:

    You know, when Sean was born, I was working full time, didn’t have a church family, and knew FEW people who had babies. The email loop “april moms” that I started with then (and am still a part of almost 11 years later!) was an amazing resource, and “companion”.. I HAVE met many of those women in real life and consider them among my best friends.
    Part of my “love” of all things internet now though, outside of the feeling called to blog (which we’ve discussed a bit) is how CONVENIENT it is. I can make connections, however small and fleeting, with you, Julie R., Glenn, etc without having to find a babysitter for the kids and/or leave the comfort of my living room!!
    It does NOT mind you, REPLACE those friendships. I still see you & julie etc, talk on the phone.. I do have to work hard to keep balance as I can turn to the computer quickly when I should be speaking to my husband or turning to God but all in all I’ve found it to be a positive thing.

  8. jimmy paravane Says:

    OK, here’s a grandfather point of view: I don’t really care what my granddaughter is doing when I get a chance to spend time with her. As long as she includes me in it, it’s valuable time for me. Does that help? Point of view is an interesting thing. (grin)

  9. candidchatter Says:

    Kathryn: Thank you for that. πŸ™‚ I needed to read it.

    Jimmy: I like you better as grandpa. πŸ˜‰

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