We don’t always know what goes on behind the scenes. Anywhere.
What happened on this blog that brought me well over 300 hits today is a prime example of what I mean. Drama. So much drama that it put 2 sisters who normally get along like peas in a pod at odds with each other. Thankfully, the problem is resolved for the most part. There is one little, minor issue still hanging, but it’s more like “I’m right”, “no, I’m right”, “no, you are wrong, I’m right”, “no, you aren’t remembering it right, I’m right”, “no, I remember, you are wrong, I’m right”. Silly. Kindergarten. Blah!
My sister is very wrapped up in the final stages of planning a very large and very expensive wedding. She has looked forward to this day for over 3 years now. She met her husband-to-be about 5 years ago. She is coordinating and paying for her dream day. What started out as fun has turned into mounds of financial strain and stress. Those of you already married will moan along with me because we are well aware of the wastefulness of wedding “budgets”. But, until you’re married, you just don’t get it. Our society plays a major role in driving this business of weddings into the brains of young girls who, for ridiculous reasons, end up putting themselves or their parents in debt for one day.
So what happens is she gets herself so wrapped up in this wedding that she fails to see what it is really all about. At least that’s my take on it. I did the same thing when I was planning my own wedding. I got so ticked off at little insignificant things and it would ruin my day. In fact, my husband almost called off our wedding due to my Bridezilla-ness. I could be wicked during those months.
And you know what?
I don’t even have one wedding picture gracing my walls. I have one picture. One. In a frame, on a shelf, that is barely noticeable unless you are really purposely looking for it. I don’t watch my wedding video. I can’t remember the last time I looked at my wedding photos.
The one thing I regret from that day is that I didn’t ask my sister “Snickets” to walk down the aisle during the ceremony. She surprised me by being there. I didn’t expect her to come. Yet, she did. And because I didn’t know she was coming I didn’t plan for her to be in my wedding. And she didn’t have a bridesmaid dress to match the others. So she sat and watched with my family. How sad. She had on a black cocktail dress. She looked stunningly beautiful (as usual). I should have asked her to be in the wedding regardless. Sure she may have stood out. But you know what would have stood out more? My love for her. My desire to have her in my wedding even if she wore jeans – which she didn’t. Know why? Because, in the end, it just doesn’t matter about the dress. Or the hair. Or the shoes. Or the make-up. Or the cake. Or the flowers. Or any of that crap.
What matters… is the love.
Love is being celebrated, right? Not perfection. The joining of two people in love. The surroundings filled with family and laughter and smiles. The atmosphere that lights up the world and glows for one day as 2 families and mounds of friends come together to celebrate the newly married couple. That is what matters.
I talked to my baby sister today. She is getting married soon too. She is so smart, that one. She is now thinking of postponing her wedding date a bit to ease the pressure off the family. She realizes how much blood, sweat, and tears her older sister’s wedding is costing us all. I gave her some advice. I told her not to insult anyone. I told her not to set her expectations too high. I told her to make it simple. I also told her that I will not be in her wedding. LOL! I did. She laughed and said she is planning an all friends wedding party anyway. She’s a sweetheart.
So pray for my sister, Andrea. She’s up to her eyeballs and beyond. She has a little boy who is 3 1/2 and a handful (aren’t they all). She is working double shifts at her job. She is planning her wedding virtually all by herself. She is emotionally and financially spent.
Pray for all women planning their weddings. Lord knows they need our prayers.
Remember when you had that first child and you read all those books and you did all they told you to do and you took all the advice other mothers gave you and you bought all cotton everything and only the best diapers and so on? Remember that? Then, remember your 2nd child when you threw all that crap away and got real?
Yeah. It’s like that. I hope and pray she regrets nothing and that her day is awesome.
Thanks for stopping by Candid Chatter. If you’re new, stick around. Sometimes I’m actually funny. Good night!
What do you regret about your wedding day?