Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Cancer, Death, Survival February 4, 2012

This is my cousin, Rose Messmer.
She was diagnosed with a common form of Leukemia a few days ago.
Pray for her.
She is responding very well to treatment, but she has a battle that has only begun.

This is my husband’s cousin, Rudy.
On the same day we found out about Rose’s cancer, Rudy died in a car accident.
He left behind a wife, 3 daughters, and his first grandchild.
Please pray for them and our whole family during this difficult time.

This is my personal hero, Austin. My nephew.
He was born at 26 weeks gestation weighing 1 lb and 14 oz.
This tiny little baby has a will to live and he is a miracle.
He is now 3 months old and weighs 7 lbs.
He is a micro-preemie survivor.
Please pray for him to be able to go home with his family soon.
Pray for his lungs to be strong too.

This is a recent photo of our champion, Austin.


Homeless October 8, 2010

Filed under: All In the Family — candidchatter @ 6:44 pm

This evening I took all three of my kids to get ice cream at Dairy Queen. They have been angels all week dealing with Mommy starting a charitable business and delivering meals three times in 5 days. They deserved a nice sugary treat.

While there, we saw a homeless man and I explained to them what that means. They had asked why he was walking in the middle of the street carrying a paper (his sign). I gently told them about what his life may be like… begging for food and money, sleeping outside or in his vehicle, using public restrooms, eating out of garbage cans, not being able to shower or brush his teeth and so on. They grew quiet and concerned and made sweet, compassionate comments. I told them when they see a homeless person to pray. My 4 1/2 year old middle child piped up, “Mommy, I’m going to pray for that homeless man.” As I was merging onto the freeway, this is what I heard him say…

“Dear God,

Please help that homeless man.

Please don’t let his teeth get rotten.

Please keep him safe in his truck.

Please help him.


Teaching compassion is one thing.
Witnessing a child struck in the heart
with it naturally… Sigh. Priceless.


Peacemaking is Hard January 6, 2010

Filed under: All In the Family — candidchatter @ 8:59 am

some of the ways to be a peacemaker

  1. swallow gallons of pride and replace them with gallons of humility
  2. listen more than you talk
  3. ask a lot of questions
  4. assume nothing
  5. personal attacks are not allowed
  6. feelings of superiority are forbidden
  7. be lovingly honest
  8. work for a resolution
  9. stay in the game; don’t quit trying
  10. admit when you are wrong and take responsibility for your wrongs
  11. apologize
  12. compromise without losing your integrity
  13. don’t gossip
  14. be respectful
  15. work on responding instead of reacting
  16. be objective to the best of your ability

i am not good at peacemaking

but, i am trying to learn


My Brother May 4, 2009

Filed under: All In the Family — candidchatter @ 1:42 pm
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I have debated for a long time whether or not to open this can of worms. Some of what I’ve written over the past year and a half has burned up a few family members of mine. My brother, whose birthday was this past weekend, won’t talk to me. At all. There was an incident on here that ended up getting very ugly and it was mostly my fault and my stinkin’ pregnancy hormones and my disgust over certain things which have transpired over the years. Since then… nada. Not a single word.


The reason I am bringing this up is because it’s actually pretty common, I’m finding. The more I talk to people about their families beyond their husbands and children, the more I am finding that there is a lot of adult family rivalry. More than I had imagined. Here I thought me and my brother were such horrible people having this silly fight. Nah. It happens. In.All.Families. To some extent anyway. It could be a cousin, a parent, a sibling, a child even. Families fight. It’s normal.

But I refuse to accept that he won’t talk to me. I act like he’s still a part of my life. I still send his daughters gifts on special occasions. I know of one instance when he refused to allow them to open what came from me, but I was clever and addressed them from MY kids so eventually, for whatever reason, his heart softened a bit and he allowed his girls to have their gifts afterall and, wouldn’t you know it, they loved what they got. Of course they did. I am a good gift giver. Err… I mean, my kids are good gift givers. [wink]

I e-mailed him a happy birthday and teased him about his proximity to turning 40. That’s not really too bad of a joke, though, because I will be 40 before he will. He probably didn’t laugh. I did though.

My mom used to tell me to “kill them with kindness”. I never understood what she meant until I had a fight with my uncle. I’ve actually had several fights with him over the years. This one was so stupid, but I understood why he was mad so I decided to kill him with kindness. It worked.

Will this work with my brother? Probably not while I’m 1000 miles away. But I’ll bet up close and personal would be a whole lot different. He can’t stay mad at me. He’s never been able to. He’s being the big tough guy right now. But I know a secret about my brother. I’ll tell you what it is too.


Nope. A big softie. GIANT softie.
And his feelings get hurt easily.
And I hurt his feelings.
And so he’s mad.
But it won’t last.
Bet he’s ready to forgive me and hug me tight already.
Ok. Maybe not. But I will hug him till he poops next time I see him.
I will.
Cuz I love him.
Cuz I love him and I miss him.


Eat Your Hearts Out August 9, 2008

Filed under: All In the Family — candidchatter @ 9:54 pm

Incase you were wondering why I entirely love living in Florida…
…here are a few reminders.
The beach is minutes from my home.
Minutes people.
M  i  n  u  t  e  s
Need I say more?

The pelican isn’t as close as it appears.
Brianna was thrilled to see it.

Aren’t those the cutest swimming trunks on the planet?
He thinks so too.

Beach Bum!

Looking for hermit crabs

Why I do what I do

Oh, well, life’s a beach!

Probably THE # 1 reason I love to spend a few hours at the beach.
It wears them the heck out.
Yes, he fell asleep holding a chicken nugget.


Behind the Curtain May 29, 2008

Filed under: All In the Family — candidchatter @ 8:42 pm
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We don’t always know what goes on behind the scenes. Anywhere.

What happened on this blog that brought me well over 300 hits today is a prime example of what I mean. Drama. So much drama that it put 2 sisters who normally get along like peas in a pod at odds with each other. Thankfully, the problem is resolved for the most part. There is one little, minor issue still hanging, but it’s more like “I’m right”, “no, I’m right”, “no, you are wrong, I’m right”, “no, you aren’t remembering it right, I’m right”, “no, I remember, you are wrong, I’m right”. Silly. Kindergarten. Blah!

My sister is very wrapped up in the final stages of planning a very large and very expensive wedding. She has looked forward to this day for over 3 years now. She met her husband-to-be about 5 years ago. She is coordinating and paying for her dream day. What started out as fun has turned into mounds of financial strain and stress. Those of you already married will moan along with me because we are well aware of the wastefulness of wedding “budgets”. But, until you’re married, you just don’t get it. Our society plays a major role in driving this business of weddings into the brains of young girls who, for ridiculous reasons, end up putting themselves or their parents in debt for one day.

So what happens is she gets herself so wrapped up in this wedding that she fails to see what it is really all about. At least that’s my take on it. I did the same thing when I was planning my own wedding. I got so ticked off at little insignificant things and it would ruin my day. In fact, my husband almost called off our wedding due to my Bridezilla-ness. I could be wicked during those months.

And you know what?
I don’t even have one wedding picture gracing my walls. I have one picture. One. In a frame, on a shelf, that is barely noticeable unless you are really purposely looking for it. I don’t watch my wedding video. I can’t remember the last time I looked at my wedding photos.

The one thing I regret from that day is that I didn’t ask my sister “Snickets” to walk down the aisle during the ceremony. She surprised me by being there. I didn’t expect her to come. Yet, she did. And because I didn’t know she was coming I didn’t plan for her to be in my wedding. And she didn’t have a bridesmaid dress to match the others. So she sat and watched with my family. How sad. She had on a black cocktail dress. She looked stunningly beautiful (as usual). I should have asked her to be in the wedding regardless. Sure she may have stood out. But you know what would have stood out more? My love for her. My desire to have her in my wedding even if she wore jeans – which she didn’t. Know why? Because, in the end, it just doesn’t matter about the dress. Or the hair. Or the shoes. Or the make-up. Or the cake. Or the flowers. Or any of that crap.

What matters… is the love.

Love is being celebrated, right? Not perfection. The joining of two people in love. The surroundings filled with family and laughter and smiles. The atmosphere that lights up the world and glows for one day as 2 families and mounds of friends come together to celebrate the newly married couple. That is what matters.

I talked to my baby sister today. She is getting married soon too. She is so smart, that one. She is now thinking of postponing her wedding date a bit to ease the pressure off the family. She realizes how much blood, sweat, and tears her older sister’s wedding is costing us all. I gave her some advice. I told her not to insult anyone. I told her not to set her expectations too high. I told her to make it simple. I also told her that I will not be in her wedding. LOL! I did. She laughed and said she is planning an all friends wedding party anyway. She’s a sweetheart.

So pray for my sister, Andrea. She’s up to her eyeballs and beyond. She has a little boy who is 3 1/2 and a handful (aren’t they all). She is working double shifts at her job. She is planning her wedding virtually all by herself. She is emotionally and financially spent.

Pray for all women planning their weddings. Lord knows they need our prayers.

Remember when you had that first child and you read all those books and you did all they told you to do and you took all the advice other mothers gave you and you bought all cotton everything and only the best diapers and so on? Remember that? Then, remember your 2nd child when you threw all that crap away and got real?

Yeah. It’s like that. I hope and pray she regrets nothing and that her day is awesome.

Thanks for stopping by Candid Chatter. If you’re new, stick around. Sometimes I’m actually funny. Good night!


What do you regret about your wedding day?


Children’s Prayers May 23, 2008

Filed under: All In the Family,Faith — candidchatter @ 9:45 pm
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We pray as a family. My kids love it. I love that they love it so it makes me love it more.

Here are some of their most recent prayers. Remember, Brianna is 3 1/2 and Jeremy is 2.

  1. Thank you for daddy’s basketball game
  2. Thank you for potato chips
  3. Thank you for my bird book
  4. Thank you for Jesus (this one always makes me smile deep)
  5. Thank you for aminals (did you catch that? aMiNals)
  6. Can I have a lollipop after breakfast?
  7. Thank you for the sandbox
  8. Thank you for Beena (that’s Jeremy trying to say Brianna)
  9. Thank you for my brother
  10. Thank you for my friends

Thank you, Lord, for my children. Please help me to cherish these moments of innocence. Help me not to grow them up too quickly. Give me wisdom and guide me in raising them according to Your will. Draw them to Your bosom even now as children. Give them the longing to serve You their whole lives through the gift of Your Spirit. Please keep them as pure on the day they are married as they are today. Protect their innocence and shield them from the evils of this world. Thank you for choosing me to be their mom. Thank you for blessing me with healthy, smart, and beautiful children, Lord. Heaven is gonna rock! Please do everything in Your power to guarantee they’ll be there too. I trust You and I thank You for trusting me. Please forgive me when I am short-tempered. Please correct me when I am wrong. Please don’t allow me to damage my kids in any way. Change me so I can be a blessing to them. I cannot do this without You. I am not smart enough, kind enough, strong enough, patient enough, and other things. Please fill in where I am weak and make me strong. I love You, Lord. Thank You for calling me. Now, please, call them too. In Your precious name I pray. Amen.

Good night folks. Sleep well — all 200+ of you. You have rocked my site this week. For little ol’ me, this is beyond my wildest expectations. Thank you. XO!!