Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Boys! January 4, 2009

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 1:24 pm
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I cannot control my laughter.
I about peed my pants the first time I saw this.
It’s only a slight exaggeration when you have a baby boy.
Yes, only slight.

Watch it. It’s only like 30 seconds long.
And you will laugh your butt off.
If you made a new year’s resolution to lose weight,
you will at least lose your butt here from laughing so hard.
Oh, you’re welcome! What are friends for?


You’ve Got Male December 30, 2008

So according to me I am 38+ weeks pregnant. According to my flawed doctors and their reliance on ultrasound at 7 weeks gestation (yes, that’s sarcasm) I am 37+ weeks gestation. Doesn’t really matter though — both get me to full-term (a full-term singleton pregnancy is one that reaches 37 weeks — that’s when baby lungs are fully developed).

Ok. So what. Right?

Well I am here to tell you that I have made it this far — inches from giving birth — and the gender “secret” has been utterly ruined. People just aren’t used to keeping gender a secret in our current times. Now, I thought my Mother-in-law had spoiled it awhile ago when we thought there may be a cyst on the baby’s brain. She was (besides my medical crew) the only one who knew the gender b/c she went with me to the ultrasound and I told the sonographer that it was ok to tell her. But I was certain she’d keep her lips shut. So certain that I allowed her to come. Well when I got the news she did the whole “he, him, his” thing as she was trying to console me. Unbelievable.

Then came the series of ultrasounds (nine) and echocardiograms (three) on the little wee one. I still didn’t know the gender. I refused to look at the screen during examination near the nether regions.

The perinatologist, an unemotional guy I’m sure due to the nature of his job, slipped once and called the baby “he”. He didn’t react, but ever so slickly went back to calling the baby “the baby”. Hmm.

Out of about 100 people, I kid you not, all but 3 have said “it’s a boy” and a few were complete strangers (remember Home Depot guy?).

Well I had a regular OB check and non-stress test Monday. The midwife decided to examine me in the NST (non-stress test) room. During a NST my baby and my uterus are monitored. I can hear the baby’s heartbeat the whole time. It’s my job to click this button thingy whenever I feel it move. The goal is for the baby’s heart rate to go up during movement. If it goes down, there is trouble. All three of my full-term babies have repeatedly passed this test. Thank God!

Ok so the midwife is coming into the room saying all loud and proud “that little boy is so active, I can hear his heartbeat all the way down the hallway, he’s a happy little guy in there”. For crying in your Cheerios!!! Are you serious? I have gone an entire pregnancy without knowing for sure if it’s a boy or not until exactly 2 weeks from my c-section. Aaaaahhhhhh [me screaming]!!!!! You have GOT to be kidding me!! Someone who shall remain nameless (Dorothy the midwife) apparantly did not read the part of my chart which said “gender unknown to Mom by choice”.

So the slips were slips and could very well have meant nothing because a lot of people say “he”. However, “little boy, little guy” is waaaay more than a slip.

I know it’s rare to not know gender these days. I am well aware of that. But it was so cool hearing Rich call out Jeremy’s gender in the operating room. I just wanted that experience one more time. This is it for us. Once our newest baby boy is born I will have no more pregnancies. Tubes tied. Snipped. Burned. Kaput!

Am I mad? No. I had a feeling it’s a boy too. Lots of similarities with the end of my pregnancy with little Jay-Jay. But I didn’t know for sure.

Am I disappointed? Greatly. I feel like my moment of hearing that excitement in Rich’s voice as he gets to tell me we just had a little baby boy has been robbed.

I won’t dwell. I won’t. What can we do? Nothing.

But [sigh] I just think that sucks a little. Ya know?

Google Images
“newborn boy”


Many Years Later December 5, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 1:48 pm
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A certain person I know has, for years, said negative and demeaning things about people who have large families. Things like “they’re crazy”, “they must be nuts”, “how can they give their kids enough attention”, “it’s ridiculous (or irresponsible) to have that many kids”. And so on.

Believe it or not, I have kept my mouth shut — taking it with a grain of salt each time.
That is, until today.

I have had it up to my hairline and beyond with these kinds of remarks. It doesn’t help that this person and I had a heated discussion yesterday regarding the dumbest advice I think I’ve ever been given by a person who has no right even breathing a word on the subject considering this person’s lack of responsible behavior in a certain area. That is vague on purpose.

My parents raised 7 children. My paternal grandparents raised 13 while my maternal grandparents raised 8. To say I come from a big family is the understatement of the year. I believe I have somewhere around 75 first cousins with both families combined. I have no idea how many of those cousins have produced children of their own. I’m sure the numbers now are well over 100 with first and second cousins combined. And we’re still having children. Some of my first cousins are still under the age of 10. I think a couple may even be under age 5. Huge family! Absolutely humongous!

In my family segment, my precious parents (who have been married for over 36 years) have their ninth grandchild on the way (our wee one). One of my sisters is trying to get pregnant with her 2nd. One of my sisters has three girls. My brother has 2 girls. My youngest sister just got married last weekend. Two of my siblings are in serious relationships, but not married yet. That leaves a whole bunch of room for more nieces and nephews for me and many more grandchildren for my parents of awesomeness. I think Christmas, one day, will be unbelievably expensive for all of us. Yikes!!

So for anyone to condemn large families to me is like calling my entire family a bunch of idiots.

Not a good idea.
It’s an even worse idea while I’m all chock full of hormones and 8 months pregnant.
Yeah. Dumb move.

So I did what any upstanding young woman with her third child on the way would do. I shot the person dead and now I’m going to jail.

Nah. In my mind I wanted to rip out hair and poke out eyeballs though.

First of all, both of my lovely heathens were fighting and yelling in the seat right behind me. The person on the phone heard the commotion and said “what would you do if you had 10 of them”. I said “I’d throw every last one out the window”. We chuckled. Then the person said “well what do you think about people who do have 10 kids then — they are nuts, aren’t they”? I stopped the chuckle right then. “You know what” I said. “You’ve been saying derogatory things about people who have a lot of kids for many years now and I’ve put up with it. I’ve been patient. I’ve been kind. But you must understand that when you say things like that you are putting down my entire family and that hurts my feelings. I don’t like it even a little bit and it doesn’t amuse me.” The person sounded taken aback and said “what well I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just mean that I couldn’t handle it”. I received and accepted an apology and then quickly got off the phone.

Right after that the girls at Subway started in on me having a girl and a boy already and what made me decide to have another child since I have one of each. I must be crazy they say and all three laugh it up. I played along. Deep inside I was painfully aware of the way I am viewed by society. I have too many kids. I am crazy to want more. How do I do what I do? Why? How? Ha ha ha this is so funny and entertaining.


It’s not funny. It’s not entertaining.
It’s disgusting.

I am proud of my family. I am proud of my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and cousins who have decided to grow their families despite what anyone else thinks or says. I had a wonderful childhood. I would change nothing about it. I love my family deeply.

I’m sick of being the butt of jokes. I am sick of being the circus who just arrived because it’s oh such a novelty to ask Heidi to tell the whole room full of people how many cousins/aunts/uncles or whatnot she has. I can hear the circus music play as the laughter fills the room along with the wide-eyed expressions on the faces of unbelieving or astonished people.

My family is not a circus.
My family is not crazy.
My family is awesome.

If it were up to me, I’d have more children. Not the natural way, however. But if Rich would open his heart to it I’d certainly adopt — at least one, maybe more.

I love kids.
I grew up surrounded by love.
My family may not have lots of money, but they sure do have lots of love.
An overabundance of it, in fact.

And. It. Makes. Me. Proud.


Summer Gets It November 17, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 5:46 am
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I took the kids to the playground today. We have a favorite one in a really cool neighborhood that we frequent. I waddled over to the swings and began my exercises of the day pushing both kids on two different swings. Don’t think that’s exercise? Try it. Now try it with a bowling ball strapped to your stomach. I dare ya!

Anyway. There was a darling young woman pushing her daughter next to us. She asked me the typical “when are you due” question. I told her “in 8 more weeks… January”. Not one ounce of shock or judgment on her pretty face. I instantly liked her. She replied “awww, I just love pregnant women — I loved being pregnant — well, that is, until the end”. I was all shocked and dramatic making faces and laughing because pregnancy is not something I enjoy except for the fetal movement. I said “well this is the end pretty much — third trimester and all”. She grinned. Lovely gal. Just lovely.

{Pause for a note to my friend LB: she reminded me of you — she had your personality to a “T”}

The kids did their normal round-the-playground routine. I followed as closely as my short little legs could manage. Rock wall, rings, slide, bridge, stairs, “watch this mom”, “see what I can do mom”, hang from bars, try to climb palm tree, throw mulch, find shells, back to the swings, etc. Fun for them and exhausting for me. Huff Puff Huff Puff.

Mrs. Personality came back over to the swings when we were there for our 2nd go. She talked about wanting a 3rd child too and how ready she is to start trying. I guess her husband is resisting. I told her mine did too (someday I’ll tell the whole story — still not ready yet). She said she wasn’t sure how hard to fight for it. I told her “some things are worth fighting for”. She smiled sweetly.

Jeremy called from across the playground wanting my help. She offered to go get him off the ladder and I scooted over to push her little girl on the swing. Brianna was going pretty high so she didn’t protest. We thanked one another and kept chit-chatting. Turns out we had a few things in common regarding our opinions of our city and a snooty neighborhood we both used to live in. We had a couple laughs.

After a bit she decided to go home to get lunch for her two girls. She was there with a friend who was also pregnant and looking very tired of chasing her little one. I understood. So we said goodbye and “nice chatting with you” and she wished me luck with the yet unborn wee one. I thanked her and she left.

Have you ever met someone completely out of nowhere and wanted to be friends?

Two things that left a happy feeling in my heart.
1. She mentioned she goes to church and works in the nursery — this makes me happy because it could very well mean she’s a born-again Christian which means even if I don’t see her again in this life, I’ll surely look her up in the next.
2. She put the word community into action — this is what we are missing in our society. She’s the link.

Her name is Summer. And Summer, by golly, you get it. You are the “it” chick. Not because you’re pretty. Not because you live in a nice neighborhood. Not because you have a cool hairstyle and cool sunglasses. No. It’s because you are friendly — genuinely friendly — and you love to laugh and you ooze joy. I can imagine when your husband kisses you good night he pinches himself he’s so lucky. I’ll bet he knows the blessing you are in his life. I hope your daughters grow up to be just like you.

And I would love to be your friend. Just not sure we’ll ever meet again. But if we do…
Well, I’ll see what God has in mind.

You’re the real deal, Summer. So many people could take a lesson from you. Too many.

And — I cannot believe you liked being pregnant. I happen to believe you have forgotten a lot.


My Kids Taught Me October 21, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 5:17 am
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  1. Never underestimate the power of a hug
  2. Baths are made for adventure
  3. Imaginations should run wild
  4. Play time is the best time of the day
  5. Forgiveness comes natural
  6. Chocolate milk is not just a drink — it’s excitement in a jug
  7. Honesty can be really funny sometimes
  8. Everything can be messed up in one way or another
  9. Nothing is off limits
  10. Keep trying and trying and trying and trying and…
  11. Sometimes suffering the consequences isn’t so bad as long as we get to [fill in the blank]
  12. Growing is something to be happy about
  13. Sometimes all we need is a band aid and a kiss to make it all better
  14. Bugs and animals are fascinating
  15. People should be admired

Photo courtesy of Google Images
Search terms: “brother sister holding hands”

Disclaimer: This post is about what my kids have taught me. There is no hidden meaning.


The Name Game October 3, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 9:46 am
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Leave it to me.

When I was pregnant with Jeremy we had a boy’s name picked out — Nathan. We also had a girl’s name picked out — Ashley. Neither of them made the cut. Rich told me around my 8th month that he didn’t really like Nathan. Grrr. I could not sleep until we came up with a new name. Jeremy it is.

Two nights ago I told Rich I don’t like the name we’ve picked for a boy. It reminds me too much of someone who is a loser with a big fat “L”. LOOOOSER!! I hate it when this happens and I usually have him to blame. However, we are back to the drawing board for a boy’s name. We threw names at each other until almost midnight that night, laughing at our silly sleep deprived jokes. Still nothing. Well, we have one that I sort of like, but I’d rather LOVE it.

This is where you come in.

I decided this would be a phat contest! You have about half a chance to win. LOL! Well, cuz if it’s a girl then you all lose and her name will be Sara. Ha!! Anyway, this is a pick our baby’s name contest (if it’s a boy). If we like what you choose, your charity of choice will win $50.00 (charity must be for real and MUST accept online donations).

Just so you know — out of all the genius gender guessers in our circle of peeps only 2 have guessed girl. My doctor said “he” at the last ultrasound and then quickly changed that to “the baby”. My mother-in-law has also slipped the “he/his/him” in conversation from time to time (so much for keeping a secret — GRRR). Rich and I are both pretty sure it’s a boy. As I get bigger and bigger and bigger the pregnancy is starting to look and feel a whole bunch like when I was pregnant with Jeremy. I’ll spare you the gory details, but there are sick as heck things going on that happened exactly as they did when I was pregnant with him and I was spared this disgusto phenomenon while I was pregnant with his big sister.

Anyway — I’ll give you a few hints so you have a better chance.

  1. We do not like unisex names like Tracy, Lindsay, Jayden, etc.
  2. We do not like super popular names like Jacob, Joshua, Daniel, Michael, Austin, etc.
  3. We do not like JUSTIN anymore — that was the name I decided against
  4. We will not name him after Rich
  5. We like last names for first names
  6. We like names of cities
  7. We like 2 or more syllables
  8. We like names that can have a nickname — Brianna is Bree; Jeremy is Jay to us

Ok — that’s enough of the hinting. Get on with it you creative crazies and win your charity some dough.


And Then a Fight Breaks Out September 18, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 11:33 am
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Since B started preschool, every day when we pick her up she tells J how much she missed him, gives him a hug and kiss, and then chatters with him all the way home. It makes me happy I had them so close in age. Most of the time they get along and play and hang out together.

And then a fight breaks out.

Right now I am listening to J scream at the top of his lungs because I made him share with B. He’s ticked. Ticked or not, it is her turn with the dinosaur toy. I have to give them time limits — usually 5 minutes — with a certain toy or whatever and then I make them switch. Normally, this works like a charm. Today, not so much.

In less than 5 minutes, they will be back to doing something darling together.

When I was a youngin’ and had to share with my rotten siblings it would make me mad as a hornet too. Esp if I had to share something that was rightfully mine. Something grandma bought for ME. It was mine yet I had to share it with them. Them. The little ones. The sticky handed ones. The slobbery drooly little heathens.


Now I love sharing with my siblings. I no longer think of them as rotten, sticky, slobbery, drooly, or heathens. They are actually all pretty freakin’ awesome.

So I know they will get to that point one day. They won’t fight as much. They will enjoy helping one another. They will defend each other.

But, for now, a dinosaur toy is a means for WWIII to start in my living room.

I will miss these days. I know I will. But sometimes I feel like locking myself in the bathroom. Ha!!

PS: B is teaching J how to hop on one foot while they watch Barney. See… less than 5 minutes and all is well again. Kids!!