I have debated for a long time whether or not to open this can of worms. Some of what I’ve written over the past year and a half has burned up a few family members of mine. My brother, whose birthday was this past weekend, won’t talk to me. At all. There was an incident on here that ended up getting very ugly and it was mostly my fault and my stinkin’ pregnancy hormones and my disgust over certain things which have transpired over the years. Since then… nada. Not a single word.
The reason I am bringing this up is because it’s actually pretty common, I’m finding. The more I talk to people about their families beyond their husbands and children, the more I am finding that there is a lot of adult family rivalry. More than I had imagined. Here I thought me and my brother were such horrible people having this silly fight. Nah. It happens. In.All.Families. To some extent anyway. It could be a cousin, a parent, a sibling, a child even. Families fight. It’s normal.
But I refuse to accept that he won’t talk to me. I act like he’s still a part of my life. I still send his daughters gifts on special occasions. I know of one instance when he refused to allow them to open what came from me, but I was clever and addressed them from MY kids so eventually, for whatever reason, his heart softened a bit and he allowed his girls to have their gifts afterall and, wouldn’t you know it, they loved what they got. Of course they did. I am a good gift giver. Err… I mean, my kids are good gift givers. [wink]
I e-mailed him a happy birthday and teased him about his proximity to turning 40. That’s not really too bad of a joke, though, because I will be 40 before he will. He probably didn’t laugh. I did though.
My mom used to tell me to “kill them with kindness”. I never understood what she meant until I had a fight with my uncle. I’ve actually had several fights with him over the years. This one was so stupid, but I understood why he was mad so I decided to kill him with kindness. It worked.
Will this work with my brother? Probably not while I’m 1000 miles away. But I’ll bet up close and personal would be a whole lot different. He can’t stay mad at me. He’s never been able to. He’s being the big tough guy right now. But I know a secret about my brother. I’ll tell you what it is too.
Nope. A big softie. GIANT softie.
And his feelings get hurt easily.
And I hurt his feelings.
And so he’s mad.
But it won’t last.
Bet he’s ready to forgive me and hug me tight already.
Ok. Maybe not. But I will hug him till he poops next time I see him.
Cuz I love him.
Cuz I love him and I miss him.