Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Happy New Year December 28, 2009

So, talk amongst yourselves. I have news for you to discuss. It will come as a shock to some and others will just roll their eyes and still others will wonder what I mean by “a shock”.

The kids got a big surprise for Christmas. I had a hard time making the decision and initially decided against it. But, Moms are suckers for their kids’ happiness and addicted to their smiles… so…

Please join together in welcoming our newest family member.
A Star is born!

“Star” is a standard poodle

She was born on December 15th. My mother-in-law’s dog and my sister-in-law’s dog made whoopie and when dogs make whoopie little dogs are born. Did you know that? We all suspected on Thanksgiving that “Mocha” was preggers because her nipples were astronomically huge. She sure was. Her litter was 8 pups. Five survived. “Star” will come home to live with us at the end of February. My kids are overwhelmed with excitement about their dog and that makes me happy.

Happy New Year folks. Why not try this on for a resolution this year…! Why don’t you resolve to do something kind to your fellow human anonymously. No glory for you. Just the pure white satisfaction in your heart that you caused a kindness in someone’s life and nobody knows it was you ‘cept God.

See you soon!


I Salute You February 14, 2009


To all the single moms and dads out there… I salute you.

For the past year, my husband has worked so many hours that I have felt the majority of the time that I am a single parent. I hope that doesn’t sound insensitive to a single parent’s situation. I mean no disrespect. It’s just that I am really tired. I can imagine how hard single parenting really is.

When my husband works so much that my kids only see him for 5 minutes in the morning Monday through Friday, I feel very alone. We get him all day on Saturday, thank God. Sunday he serves all morning at the church. By the time he gets home, the kids are in bed for their naps. They only get to see him about 5 hours on Sundays because of this conflict in his schedule. I half begged him last week to quit the ministry he volunteers for. We need him home. I need him home.

I am thankful that I don’t really know what it’s like to be completely on my own with my three kids. But I want you single parents to know that I think of you and I completely take off my hat to you. Your job, my friends, is the hardest job on the planet.

I salute you.


How Many is Too Many? September 22, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 11:27 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Know what’s been happening to me a lot lately? I’ll tell you since you’ll never guess.

I get this comment every day that I am out of my house by some ignoramous.
“Why are you having another baby when you already have a girl and a boy?”
And the ignoramous who asks me this question is serious. I think this ignoramous also has a lot of guts to ask a hormonal, outspoken, pregnant chick such an ignorant and personal question. It’s like teasing a rattlesnake. Dumb move.

So what am I to do? This side of me thinks I ought to start shooting the people who say these airheaded things to put them out of their absolute misery. This side of me feels a need to explain the personal decision my husband and I made about the size of our family.

The next assumption is this… “so I suppose this is your last then”. As if that is anyone’s business in the first place.

Who decided it was ok to ask complete strangers about their family choices and plans? Who made it perfectly normal to say these things to pregnant women or their spouses?

How absurd that society thinks I have a big family because of my soon to be 3 children. I’ll show you a big family. I’ll show you the best childhood ever and the most love ever and the greatest family on the planet. I’ll show you all of my aunts and uncles and cousins; my mom and dad and siblings; my grandparents and nieces and nephews. You’ve never seen such a family I guess. Holidays are absolute blow-out events. Fun for the entire family. More presents under a Christmas tree than you’ve ever laid your beedy little eyes on.

I have decided not to give a true response anymore. From now on I am going to say this…
They ask me: “why are you having another baby when you already have a girl and a boy”
I am going to say:to rid the world of people who ask ignorant and personal questions they have no business asking — if there are more of us, then there are less of you”

They might say: “so I suppose this is your last child then”
My response: uh, yeah, last time I checked the size of my family was not up for discussion — esp with a perfect stranger”

What do you think?
Will it work?
It’s like the idiot
who asks a non-pregnant
woman when she’s due!!


Jolted September 19, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 8:37 am
Tags: , , , ,

My daughter is very dramatic and very sensitive. She gets both of these traits from yours truly. Hard to imagine, I know, I know. LOL!!

Well the other day she was screaming about something and burried her head into my stomach as she screamed. The baby in my tum jumped and squirmed all about like it had been jolted wide awake and had the crap scared out of it. It was so startling for me (and obviously for it too) that I pulled Brianna away to tell her what just happened. She ended up laughing her rear end off — as did I. It was the neatest, coolest, weirdest thing. Poor baby. But the good news is he or she has great hearing!!

My friend SW came over yesterday for coffee and a visit. Right before she left Jeremy stuck his face in my stomach and shouted “wake up baby”. We laughed ourselves silly. I told her this story.

Kids — they are so dang cute!

Have a wonderful Friday. I hope this day you are filled with joy! Thanks for coming over to Candid Chatter. Warm fuzzies to everyone.


And Then a Fight Breaks Out September 18, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 11:33 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Since B started preschool, every day when we pick her up she tells J how much she missed him, gives him a hug and kiss, and then chatters with him all the way home. It makes me happy I had them so close in age. Most of the time they get along and play and hang out together.

And then a fight breaks out.

Right now I am listening to J scream at the top of his lungs because I made him share with B. He’s ticked. Ticked or not, it is her turn with the dinosaur toy. I have to give them time limits — usually 5 minutes — with a certain toy or whatever and then I make them switch. Normally, this works like a charm. Today, not so much.

In less than 5 minutes, they will be back to doing something darling together.

When I was a youngin’ and had to share with my rotten siblings it would make me mad as a hornet too. Esp if I had to share something that was rightfully mine. Something grandma bought for ME. It was mine yet I had to share it with them. Them. The little ones. The sticky handed ones. The slobbery drooly little heathens.


Now I love sharing with my siblings. I no longer think of them as rotten, sticky, slobbery, drooly, or heathens. They are actually all pretty freakin’ awesome.

So I know they will get to that point one day. They won’t fight as much. They will enjoy helping one another. They will defend each other.

But, for now, a dinosaur toy is a means for WWIII to start in my living room.

I will miss these days. I know I will. But sometimes I feel like locking myself in the bathroom. Ha!!

PS: B is teaching J how to hop on one foot while they watch Barney. See… less than 5 minutes and all is well again. Kids!!


I am Ready Now April 24, 2008

I had another short-lived emotional breakdown yesterday while preparing breakfast for myself. The kids were off playing in Brianna’s bedroom and Rich was still sleeping. I walked to the fridge to put the eggs away and noticed with absolute clarity the two pictures of my Grandma. Big sad sigh. I stared at them for a moment remembering that summer when I was 12. I stayed with her in Georgia for a month. That was probably my most memorable vacation. In fact, this morning while lying in bed with my husband and squirmy little boy my mind drifted off to that vacation again. Another big sad sigh.

Anyway, I sat down at the table to pray over my food and thank God for my blessings when I crumbled. It has been a long time, it seems, since I asked God to kiss my baby for me. See the trigger? I get sad about one thing and it inevitably brings me to thoughts of that. So then I was all tears and “why” questions and feeling very sorry for myself. After about 2 minutes of blubbering in prayer to the Lord, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and eyes and regained my composure incase my kids came out of their play. I don’t like for them to see me cry too much because it worries them, esp Brianna.

I have been dreadfully hateful towards my husband for 2 solid days. Yesterday, I was also very short-tempered with my wonderful children. None of them deserves that. Why was I acting that way? I started soul-searching. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, it is because I am ready to try to conceive and I was afraid Rich would shoot me down. Incase I haven’t told you, he doesn’t want any more children. He is perfectly content with two – a girl and a boy. I am not and, for this human life, I will fight. I will not submit to him this time.

I come from a background of people who cherish human life. It’s not that my husband doesn’t, but his family has no trouble with “family planning”. His mom has made comments several times about how crazy people are who have “so many children”. She hasn’t a clue how this hurts me. She doesn’t mean it in a hurtful way either. I think she realizes SHE could never handle a big family so she can’t wrap her mind around those who do. My mom & dad raised seven children – I am the firstborn. My mom’s mom & dad raised 8 children – she’s the third born. My dad’s mom & dad raised 13 children – he’s the 4th born. Women in our family have been pregnant my whole life. It’s always someone.

I want 4 children, always have. Heck, my favorite number is 4. So strange to have a favorite number. Oh well, it is. Rich will have none of that. It was hard enough to convince him of two. Then we agreed on three. I can’t see 4 ever happening unless it’s the Hand of God. And it would have to be a miraculous conception because after the next baby I will have my tubes tied. Or adoption… which I am totally open to… however, Rich is not.

So last night when I went to bed Rich came in as usual to say good night. I was reading the Bible and tried to ignore him. It didn’t work. He was upset that I had been treating him so badly. Finally, I told him why. I told him that I am ready to try to make another baby and I was afraid of his response. He reminded me that I know how he feels, however, he will give in. See we both know once that baby is born he will be so in love with him/her just like he is with the two we already have. In that sense, it’s ok with him. But if left up to him we would be done. He looks at it from a financial point of view. I look at it from an emotional and spiritual point of view. In my opinion, this sheds a whole bunch of light on how differently we were raised in this area. In my family, babies weren’t planned around finances. My family just had them and prayed for God to provide. And He always did. His family plans their finances first. Nothing wrong with that, I guess (???). But, to me, it’s foolishness to pick money over human life. Absurd!

So please pray for us. Pray that Rich will have peace. Pray that I will be patient and kind and tenderhearted during the process. Pray that once pregnant I will have peace and won’t worry, esp during the first trimester.

Most importantly, please pray for the baby we are trying to conceive — that he or she will be healthy and normal.

Thank you!


Fire Alarm News is Alarming! February 3, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 11:45 am
Tags: , , ,

This made me cry. I am completely shocked!

Parents be aware and have a plan!

Thank you, Ali, for putting this on your blog.