Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Remember Last Year? August 9, 2010

Me either.

Sike.

What I mean is… remember last year when I said I would not eat meat unless it was seafood and I would concentrate on becoming more of a vegetarian? Well, here’s a reminder if you want to get yourself all up to speed (and here and here). I know I’m a little early in celebrating, but I didn’t want to forget to tell all of you that I have been a full pescetarian for (almost) a full year. Celebrate!

I have never felt better either. Hardly ever sick ‘cept for a seasonal cold now and then. Quite the difference from last year, wouldn’t ya say?

I am also exactly seven days away from finishing my first round of P90X. You can read more about that here.

I’m excited to start writing on my blog again. It will pick up soon. I am preparing for school to start so it’s hard to get the time to sit and focus on writing. However, with 2 kids in school and one who still takes naps… let the writing begin resume.

 

What Do You Take? January 23, 2010

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 8:43 am
Tags: , ,

I take a lot of vitamins. After awhile I get to thinking I should change it up a bit. I just ran out of Zinc. Hmm. Should I get more or take a break? If you’d be so inclined, share with me your vitamin regimen. Tell me why you take what you take. Here is my list…

  • Prenatal multi-vitamin: I just weened my son, so until these are gone I’ll keep taking them, then I’ll switch to a regular multi
  • Glucosamine: Joint issues. Gaining so much weight during my pregnancies has really done some damage. I actually think I might need knee surgery, but, for now, I take this to help keep them as healthy as possible.
  • Zinc: To boost my immune system and because I’m a pescetarian (vegetarian who eats fish). Also, I just got done breastfeeding my 1 year old and I needed it b/c nursing can deplete a lactating Mommy’s supply of zinc.
  • Vitamin D3: For overall good health esp bone health, protection from cancer, mood elevation.
  • Vitamin B12: I don’t eat pork, poultry, or beef… so I can stand to use a little extra. This is for energy.
  • Vitamin B6:  I actually think I will quit this one because I eat a lot of salmon as well as spinach. Too much B6 can damage nerves.

How about you?

 

Getting ME Back September 20, 2009

So I go through periods of time (short, thankfully) where I feel downhearted. Not completely overwhelmed with depression, but feelings of darkness. The last two weeks have been like that. Sorta.

Last night I either had a dream or I had a moment of lucidity as I tossed back onto my back to keep the snot in my head and not on my pillow. I have a cold. Again.
So I had this moment of seeing myself; not as I am, but as I long to be.

Healthy.

I was fit. I had muscle tone. I had a tan. I was smiling. I had energy. I was full of life.
And, I realized right then and there that the person I was seeing IS me.
And, even though I’m going through this rough patch of feeling like my body has fallen apart, it really is just that… a rough patch. Because I am not comfortable with fat. I do not tolerate unhealthy. I am not lazy nor am I a glutton.

So I am over it. If you see me today, I am over 150 pounds. I feel fat. I feel ugly. I feel like I am barely making it most days because I have no energy and I keep getting sick. I have felt stuck in this yuck for over a year. And. I am SO done feeling this way.

I will breastfeed Jaxon for exactly 4 more months. I have to say that for the first 10 weeks I thought of breastfeeding as a loving sacrifice. After that, I felt extremely happy that I stuck it out because I started to really love it. In fact, I loved it so much that when I had to start feeding my son baby food from a jar I was upset and I cried because he wouldn’t need me at the breast as much. Now that he is 8 months old and I feel like half of a normal human being again, I want to be done. It is now just a convenience for me. I don’t see it necessary emotionally for either of us. It is the greatest form of nutrition for him and that I will never deny. But, emotionally we don’t need it anymore. It feels like I’m just feeding him now. I don’t know how to describe it, really. I guess “routine” is a good word to describe how it feels.

Anyway… I don’t consider nursing my son the reason for my downheartedness. Don’t get me wrong. But, the nursing has kept me in this state of being that I am unhappy with. I can’t take certain meds to feel better, it is taxing my immune system despite what you “experts” say, I am still  fat so the magic breastfeeding-makes-the-weight-melt-off is baloney in my book… and on and on. Because of the extra weight my foot is not healing the way it should. I can’t lose without using my foot. It’s a vicious cycle that is tiring me to the core.

And, before anyone starts  bashing me for eating fast food… find another chick to assault. I am a vegetarian 3/4 of the time. I only consume fish occasionally and my diet is well-rounded with my carbohydrate intake consisting primarily of fiber rich, whole grains and fruits. Save yourself the aggrivation of trying to pinpoint my problem as being anything other than breastfeeding. Pregnancy sucks and robs me of my nutrition and it has become apparant that breastfeeding does the same thing to me. It’s awful.

I didn’t realize until recently that one very important part of my mental well-being is my physical well-being. The two are intricately tied. Since I feel sluggish and I hate the way I look with my fat stomach and fat rear end… I am not healthy emotionally either.

Sure other things work their way into that equation, but the main thing is that I am physically unhealthy. Everything else is just another ingredient.

Awareness.

I am glad I see this now. It is relieving in a sense. I probably have about a year left of being “this” way physically. I am not done nursing Jack until January and, even then, weening is a process.

A woman once told me that it took her 3 years to get her body back after her last child was born. She breastfed too. I hope it doesn’t take 3 years. But, I will do what it takes to get mine back.

Healthy. Vibrant. Strong.
That is me. I am ready.

 

Blogger Fitness Challenge February 18, 2009

Filed under: fitness — candidchatter @ 5:54 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

bicycle-crunches

Check-in week 1.

I didn’t do as good as I intended this week. My mother-in-law had her wisdom teeth pulled and so she’s not been here helping. I knew she was helping a lot and keeping me sane, but I didn’t realize how much until a week without help. But we’re doing fine and my house isn’t the disaster I thought it would be. I’m even caught up on laundry. Yeehaw!

Anyway…

I didn’t lose any weight. I did get out and walk twice and jumped on the trampoline with the kids twice. I also paid more attention to my veggie intake. Overall, I am satisfied with my week. I am cutting myself some slack since I just gave birth a mere 5 weeks ago and had major abdominal surgery in order to do that.

How did you do?
Check In.