Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Search Items September 20, 2008

To be of utmost assistance to those of you confused by daily life or motherhood or pregnancy or whatever, I have decided to do another post on items searched that landed folks right here.

  1. “trying to conceive has made me bitter” — I so understand. It starts out fun. Then you get your period. Oh well, nobody gets pregnant the first try; you rationalize. You read up on methods that are ‘sure to work’. You try again. Then you get your period. You buy a book or two and maybe some ovulation kits. You try again. Your husband has never had this much sex in his life and he’s thinking he just hit the freakin’ jackpot. You, on the other hand, are starting to become concerned that something is wrong with your female functions. My best advice is this — every other day have sex starting on day 7 in your cycle (day 1 is the day you start your period). If you are not pregnant within 3 months of trying this method, talk to your doctor. Every other day — not every day — not on certain days — you wanna catch that egg then you need to do what I just said — even when you’re bitter. Good luck!!
  2. “no soap lotion before ultrasound” — One question: why the heck not? They use gel anyway. Your belly gets all gunked up and slimy. Huh?
  3. “negative pregnancy test” — either you tested too early (wait a week) or you are not pregnant. False negatives are common. False positives are not common. Good luck!
  4. “symptoms of a miscarriage” — gee whiz… I hate this one. My symptoms were spotting and loss of pregnancy symptoms. I had no cramps, but those are normal too. I also didn’t have heavy bleeding or clots, but these are normal too. I’m sorry.
  5. “I believe divorce is” — Necessary for some; ridiculously selfish for others.
  6. “do down syndrome babies move in ultrasound” — yes, they sure do! If your baby wasn’t moving in ultrasound, he or she was probably asleep. The IMPORTANT thing is that everything is functioning while the baby is still (heart is beating, blood is flowing in and out of placenta/umbilical cord, etc.). Next time drink orange juice about 15 minutes before your appointment. Works every single time. I’ve had probably 100 ultrasounds — trust me, OJ works!!
  7. “Jesus tell me the truth” — Try the New Testament. He does a lot of that in there. Happy seeking!
  8. “I’ve been eating a lot of junk…” — Me too!!! I just had some Almond Coffee Cake and a large glass of milk. I am getting fat this pregnancy and I almost don’t care really. Ha!!
  9. “ok to conceive while husband is sick” — well, that all depends on what is causing him to be sick. If it is Hepatitis, I’d say NO. If it’s the common cold, then hop on him girlfriend!!
  10. “sausage pizza while pregnant ok” — LOL!! You can’t be serious. If that wasn’t OK then my kids would all have something wrong with them. ROFL!!
  11. “pregnancy test getting lighter” — sweetheart, they are no good after a few hours. The lines will fade. I have saved all of my positive pregnancy tests. They all still have lines, but they are all very faint now. Throw it away. Just throw it away. It’s probably gross that I saved all of mine. Yeah, that’s probably really gross on some level. Oh well.
  12. “spot head ultrasound down syndrome” — not necessarily!! Go see a genetic specialist or perinatologist. Seriously, get a referral from your OB or midwife right now and go see a more specialized doctor for a better ultrasound. Trust me!!
  13. “candid nurse” — Someday!! Right now I’m just Candid Chatter.
  14. “recommended breakfast first trimester” — whatever the hell you can keep down!! Good luck with that.
  15. “why is my stomach so big in the first trimester” — because you are short. Me too. I understand and I feel you on this one. Just understand all those hot little tarts who don’t show until they are like 8 months along will get worse stretch marks than you! Well, at least that’s what I like to believe.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road September 17, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 9:22 am
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Something jerked me senseless last night. Here I was minding my own business reading blogs on the internet when I stopped by Without Wax. In the comments section of yesterday’s post by Pete, there is a man who left a comment with this link.

I clicked on it. At 2:00 this morning, when I was still trying not to puke and bawl over what I read and saw, I was wishing so hard I hadn’t found that site. This is what keeps me up at night. This is what yanks me out of my comfort zone and sticks my nose right in the muck of reality, folks. This is what changes me. This is what causes me to run to my children and hold onto them.

I want to do something.

I didn’t sleep well at all. Jeremy woke me up a few times. Brianna came into my room because she was scared (she’s going through this weirdo “I’m scared” phase right now). My heart was bleeding and broken from everything that was running through my mind. I couldn’t release the images that came to me and as I slept I had nightmares.

Medical missions. That has been my motivation to try to get an education to become a nurse. I think that may have taken a drastic turn last night. I won’t know until I’ve completed my degree and started my career. I won’t know until many years from now when my kids are grown and don’t need me around the house so much. I won’t know until I am released from my full-time Mom role, thrust into my full-time Nurse role, and then I can do more planning and research. I’ll see how God decides to deal with this shockwave running through my veins.

But maybe… just maybe I need to help these girls. Maybe those red dresses and numbers will haunt me until I make my way to Asia. Maybe their little 8 year old empty faces will disturb my senses until I am able to do something more than pray and donate. Maybe.

Maybe this is my calling.

Maybe this is why I carry such burdens for the children of this world.

Maybe Rich’s heart will eventually change and we can save one of them.

Maybe this is my purpose.

Maybe it’s all beginning to unfold.


Maybe they need me.

What are you willing to do to help?

Can you turn away?
Can you ignore their cries?
Aren’t you haunted too?

2 children per minute…

Every minute…

In the time it took you to read this post… how many were trafficked?
How many?

Two. Every. Minute.


Sex in the Suburbs May 22, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 1:04 pm
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Deadly Viper is doing The Week of Hot Sex over at their site. It’s been very interesting so check it out when you get time.

Today’s post brings me to my thoughts on a certain sex topic. In Christian circles, it is WIDELY taught by men and women alike that it is a wife’s duty to please her husband sexually. I’ve even heard women say that we are to give it out whenever it is requested.

Wanna know what I think? Do you really?

I think this is a giant load of garbage!

First of all, if I’ve been in the throes of caring for two sick kids and I feel whipped like I’ve been drug behind a semi-truck all day long, I am not having sex. I don’t care how much he begs. And, yes, this has happened. And, no, I did not have sex.

Second, if I am menstruating like I’ve been shot in the crotch, enjoying an itching & burning yeast infection, exhausted for any reason, sick, or physically uncomfortable — I am not having sex.

Third, if my husband has been an absolute jerk for any reason or has avoided me all day long and then suddenly he decides his penis is full — ha — too bad for you sir, I am not having sex.

No amount of Christianese is going to make me feel it is ok for a man to take advantage of his wife’s call to submit to him. Men are also called to submit. Right? And sex should be pleasurable. Right? Well, let me tell you this. If I must have sex with my husband every daggon time he wants it then I will NOT be enjoying it and will be thinking in my mind, “can’t you cum already???” And I will fake the, “uh, uh, uh, oh baby” and all that crap just to get him off of me.

Show me where in the Bible (New Testament) it says that women have to give their man sex every single time they want it. If you can prove that God said this, then I will submit. But you better know your verses b/c this is my courtroom and you will have to prove it BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT, in context, and point blank. Otherwise, do not waste your time.

Ok. Rant over. You may proceed.

PS: I was going to post about something related to this until I saw Pete had already done so. I will save mine for another day. I don’t wanna ride his brainwave too much now. 😉

2nd PS: My husband doesn’t force sex upon me. Let me make that clear. He is not a monster. It’s the Christian community who is blabbering this foolishness.