Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Search Items September 20, 2008

To be of utmost assistance to those of you confused by daily life or motherhood or pregnancy or whatever, I have decided to do another post on items searched that landed folks right here.

  1. “trying to conceive has made me bitter” — I so understand. It starts out fun. Then you get your period. Oh well, nobody gets pregnant the first try; you rationalize. You read up on methods that are ‘sure to work’. You try again. Then you get your period. You buy a book or two and maybe some ovulation kits. You try again. Your husband has never had this much sex in his life and he’s thinking he just hit the freakin’ jackpot. You, on the other hand, are starting to become concerned that something is wrong with your female functions. My best advice is this — every other day have sex starting on day 7 in your cycle (day 1 is the day you start your period). If you are not pregnant within 3 months of trying this method, talk to your doctor. Every other day — not every day — not on certain days — you wanna catch that egg then you need to do what I just said — even when you’re bitter. Good luck!!
  2. “no soap lotion before ultrasound” — One question: why the heck not? They use gel anyway. Your belly gets all gunked up and slimy. Huh?
  3. “negative pregnancy test” — either you tested too early (wait a week) or you are not pregnant. False negatives are common. False positives are not common. Good luck!
  4. “symptoms of a miscarriage” — gee whiz… I hate this one. My symptoms were spotting and loss of pregnancy symptoms. I had no cramps, but those are normal too. I also didn’t have heavy bleeding or clots, but these are normal too. I’m sorry.
  5. “I believe divorce is” — Necessary for some; ridiculously selfish for others.
  6. “do down syndrome babies move in ultrasound” — yes, they sure do! If your baby wasn’t moving in ultrasound, he or she was probably asleep. The IMPORTANT thing is that everything is functioning while the baby is still (heart is beating, blood is flowing in and out of placenta/umbilical cord, etc.). Next time drink orange juice about 15 minutes before your appointment. Works every single time. I’ve had probably 100 ultrasounds — trust me, OJ works!!
  7. “Jesus tell me the truth” — Try the New Testament. He does a lot of that in there. Happy seeking!
  8. “I’ve been eating a lot of junk…” — Me too!!! I just had some Almond Coffee Cake and a large glass of milk. I am getting fat this pregnancy and I almost don’t care really. Ha!!
  9. “ok to conceive while husband is sick” — well, that all depends on what is causing him to be sick. If it is Hepatitis, I’d say NO. If it’s the common cold, then hop on him girlfriend!!
  10. “sausage pizza while pregnant ok” — LOL!! You can’t be serious. If that wasn’t OK then my kids would all have something wrong with them. ROFL!!
  11. “pregnancy test getting lighter” — sweetheart, they are no good after a few hours. The lines will fade. I have saved all of my positive pregnancy tests. They all still have lines, but they are all very faint now. Throw it away. Just throw it away. It’s probably gross that I saved all of mine. Yeah, that’s probably really gross on some level. Oh well.
  12. “spot head ultrasound down syndrome” — not necessarily!! Go see a genetic specialist or perinatologist. Seriously, get a referral from your OB or midwife right now and go see a more specialized doctor for a better ultrasound. Trust me!!
  13. “candid nurse” — Someday!! Right now I’m just Candid Chatter.
  14. “recommended breakfast first trimester” — whatever the hell you can keep down!! Good luck with that.
  15. “why is my stomach so big in the first trimester” — because you are short. Me too. I understand and I feel you on this one. Just understand all those hot little tarts who don’t show until they are like 8 months along will get worse stretch marks than you! Well, at least that’s what I like to believe.

Pregnant & Waddling September 8, 2008

Yes, I am already waddling. I’m 21 weeks pregnant. According to my handy book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting (yes, there is a website now based on the book), I am one week shy of being a full 5 months pregnant. To date, this has been the most difficult off all of my pregnancies. I don’t know if it’s age related or not. I was in better shape when I got pregnant this time, yet I am a physical plethora of aches and pains — head to toe (literally).

Yesterday was a record Sunday here on this site. I realized why. I finally put “pregnant” as a tag. I got over 100 hits on that word alone yesterday. As a result, I had over 300 hits. On a Sunday?? Awesome!

I was reading one of my earlier posts and I was so excited to get 61 hits in a day. If I got 61 hits today I would be like “only 61 hits”. Ya’ll are spoiling me. Thank you for coming. I hope by this time next year I think 300+ hits is a slow day.

Back to pregnancy stuff.

I’m sure a lot of women who search “pregnant” are either trying to get pregnant, think they are but don’t know for sure yet, it’s their first baby, or it has been so long they just don’t remember much. Maybe there are moms of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and so on who would search “pregnant” looking for some other women in the same boat as them, but I think the others are more likely to do their “pregnant” searches than the ones who have been there and done that a time or two or three or four.

So here’s my little ditty about pregnancy.

Trying to conceive:
This is the easiest part for some and the hardest part for others. Since this is me talking, I’ll have to say (except for Brianna because I was not ovulating and I didn’t know what I was doing) this has been the easiest part. Here is my advice. Throw away all of the books you just bought on trying to conceive. Don’t listen to your mom or your mother-in-law. Don’t chart, check cervical mucous, pee on ovulation sticks, take your morning temps, or any of that baloney. Listen to me. Starting on the 7th day in your cycle — the first day of your cycle is the day you start your period — have sex EVERY OTHER DAY until you are due for your next period or you get a BFP (big fat positive) on a HPT (home pregnancy test). Not EVERY DAY — give the man a break and time for more spermies to be made — EVERY OTHER DAY. It has not failed me yet and this is my 4th pregnancy. If this works for you, return here and let me congratulate you and do a little happy dance in my computer chair. Ok? You’re welcome, by the way.

Early pregnancy symptoms:

You won’t find this valuable and certain information ANYWHERE on the web. Every single site is confusing. Every one. So listen to me here. You will have some symptoms. At least one. If you don’t have ANY symptoms, then I’m sorry to say that this probably isn’t your month. Do not rely on mood swings. Trying to conceive will cause you to become a beastly thing. Esp if it didn’t work the first or second or third try. You will be the beeotch on the street and your husband may stop enjoying sex and start to feel used. You have long since stopped enjoying it, but you want a baby bad enough to keep it up. I know!! Ok – on to early signs and symptoms.

  • Veins that look bluer than usual on your chest, breasts, and underneath of your upper arms.
  • Hunger like never before and you just ate an hour ago.
  • Nausea — however, this usu doesn’t kick in until week 7 and some women never get it.
  • Bloating and a constant feeling of fullness in your low abdomen.
  • Not just mood swings, honey. No, we’re talking you’re about to go on a murderous rampage any minute and your husband will be the first one to get shot. Or you suddenly cry at commercials or YouTube videos.
  • Thirst like you could drink Lake Erie.
  • Vision disturbances.
  • Insomnia — this could also be nerves or stress related.
  • Needing to urinate more frequently. I’m talking like every hour and at least once in the middle of the night. This gets to be extremely annoying, by the way, the further you get in your pregnancy. Once in the middle of the night becomes 2 to 3 times esp when baby does baby gymnastics on your bladder at 3 a.m. Fun times are ahead my newly pregnant friend. Mmm Hmm.

PS: Yes, a faint line is a positive. Congratulations!!

This is your first pregnancy:
One statement — pregnancy sucks from beginning to bitter end. However, you get a baby and that’s what makes us crazy women do it over and over and over again. You won’t enjoy it. Well, you will enjoy some of it. But, for the most part, you will not. Just grin and bear it and repeat after me “it’s worth it”. It truly is.

Been pregnant, but it’s been forever:
Welcome back mom! You forgot a lot huh? Remember round ligament pain? Oh yeah, the 2nd trimester loves to give you those sharp stabbing pains in the belly. How about spider veins and varicose veins? Those are great. Remember the gross icky discharge that starts about halfway through. You’ll remember soon enough. How about putting pillows between your legs at night so you can freakin’ sleep? They make these awesome snuggle pillows now that go around your whole body. Go. Buy. One. Now. Babies R Us. You’re welcome! It will all come flooding back to you and then you can come online here and rant about it if you want to. I’ll listen. I surely will. I’ll chime in too.

Pregnant again, not so soon after the last one:
You can offer your own advice and tidbits of info. Feel free, girl. I’m right there with ya! My youngest is 2 1/2 and his sister is only 19 months older than him. It was a race against time for us — trying to get all the babies born before I turn 36. We did it!! This one is due mid-Jan and I won’t be 36 until May. Whew!!

Thanks for visiting Candid Chatter. Keep commenting folks. That’s what makes this blog so great — YOU!!


Shouldn’t I Be Worried August 26, 2008

Tomorrow is a big day. We have Brianna’s orientation for preschool. But, bigger news, we also have the level 2 ultrasound with a genetic specialist.

So shouldn’t I be worried?

I guess maybe I should be. Many people would be. But I’m not. As I tossed and turned following my nightmare the other night, I felt this calm come over me. This is separate from the peace I already had. I don’t know how to explain it, really. Peace and calm seem to bring a picture of the same thing. But even though I was at peace before the calm I still thought about the possibility of bad news a lot. I had to chase those thoughts away. After the calm, I no longer have to chase any thoughts away because I don’t fear tomorrow’s results.

I do not fear.

A God thing for sure.

So today I am trying to catch up around the house. Chores. We’re all in good moods. Nobody funky or foul. It’s pleasantville.

Have a great day!


Eighteen July 24, 2008

Oh to have my acquired wisdom and be eighteen again. Or at least look eighteen again.

I have been so freaking busy this week. Jeremy’s last swimming lesson is today. I have a regular OB appointment tomorrow morning. I plan to start painting Brianna’s bedroom on Saturday.

Rich has grown an attachment to his computer and I think he might need to have it surgically removed when NFL season is over. You guys (men) might think he has the dream job… and during regular season (non-NFL) I suppose he does. But right now he works 7 days a week from about 9:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. taking breaks to eat (in front of the computer except for dinner when he joins the family), go to the bathroom, sleep, and sometimes he’ll take 10-20 minutes to play with the kids which helps him relieve stress and walk away from the computer for a bit. It’s his “breather” and they eat up their daddy time.

For those of you who aren’t aware, he is a software engineer for a fantasy sports website. They do all sports, but his job is the NFL section which produces over a million dollars for them per year. One season produces a mil+. It’s a big deal. And for right now, he is the only person who knows the language to write the site. He gets no help and can’t ask anyone anything b/c they don’t know his language. In December, the company merged and he lost every single person on his team including the CTO (chief technical officer) who is a close friend of his. He’s the only one left. He’s the man behind [company name] million dollar fantasty sports NFL product. Just him. So he’s balls to the wall day in and day out. That’s the name of the game and that’s why he has such negotiating power when it comes to salary and bonus structure. So it definitely has its pros. However, a stressed out, burned out, tired, can’t exercise, can’t do much of what he enjoys for 6 months a year husband is hard to deal with. It’s a good thing he’s so mild mannered. If he were me, we’d be getting a divorce. He internalizes everything and doesn’t take it out on us. We are lucky.

So what does this have to do with eighteen? Well, he works almost eighteen hours a day.

But seriously. Eighteen is all about me.

With my 1st pregnancy I gained 26 pounds total. Most of it in the first and second trimesters. I had little to no weight gain in the third trimester due to gestational diabetes and a strict low glycemic index diet.

With my 2nd pregnancy I gained 27 pounds total. Same reason.

After Jeremy was born I busted my butt and lost 45 pounds. In 10 months. I did the South Beach Diet (which I still believe is the best diet on the face of the planet, if you can handle all the food preparation) and I exercised without fail 4 to 5 days a week. I went from a size 14 (post-baby) to a size 4. I looked awesome! I really and truly did. The picture of my face on here was taken around this time last year. I kept that weight off until I got pregnant in October of last year. I lost that baby, kept the 10 pounds I had gained, added another 3 from depression I guess, and now I’m pregnant again.

And I thought I was looking pretty good this time. I wasn’t overweight when I got pregnant with this baby. Yes, I had gained weight, but there was a perfectly good reason for it. Pregnant, miscarriage, depression. It’s a good reason to gain 13 pounds. Right?

So for some stupid I am a glutton for punishment reason I weighed myself yesterday. I thought I might have gained 8 pounds. Ok maybe 10. Never did I expect that I have gained 18 freaking pounds already. I am just shy of 15 weeks pregnant. How can this be? My scale must be wrong. It must be.

Well I get weighed tomorrow at my doctor’s appointment. Joy. If that scale is the same as my bathroom digital probably doesn’t lie it was so expensive scale then I might just cry. It almost makes me hope for gestational diabetes again so I have a restricted diet. Sure I could do the diet on my own, but when your baby’s life and health depends on you eating right… well, there’s a whole new motivation there that works way better than just eating right alone. And as much as I hate pricking my fingers and testing my blood 4 times a day… well, it will keep me from gaining an absurd amount of weight.

Now I know why everyone keeps telling me I look so good. They’re lying. Because I don’t look good. Should I worry about my weight while I’m pregnant? Maybe not. But I am. Afterall, I am the one who has to take it off after the baby is born and I’m here to tell you losing 45 pounds ain’t easy folks. Especially the last 15 pounds. It’s a constant battle of changing up the exercise routine to keep from plateauing and keeping the glycemic index in my diet way below “normal” and constantly avoiding foods that I would love to eat and parties where there are plenty of foods that I love to eat and holidays which will ruin anyone’s diet. It’s tough.

Anyway, here’s hoping there isn’t another 18 on the way.

How much weight did you
or your wife gain during