Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Still Confused? October 30, 2008

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 5:23 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Allow me to clear things up for you.

6 weeks gestation
I have seen all of my babies except Jeremy
around the 6th week. They all (even the one
we lost in miscarriage) had heartbeats this early.

8 weeks gestation

10-12 weeks gestation

12-16 weeks gestation

20 weeks gestation
At this stage a partial-birth abortion
would be performed.

6 months gestation

Unborn baby nearly full term
3D Ultrasound Image

A newborn baby moments after birth.

So now remind me again.
When is a baby a human?
When is it ok to murder one?
Show me which picture you think fits
the “right time” to abort the child.

Vote Republican.


45 Responses to “Still Confused?”

  1. You didn’t include that pix…

    It would have been a blank photo…because there is never a time to murder a baby…born or unborn.

    My question has always been why some people think it is okay to murder a yet-to-be-born baby, but would gasp if someone suggested murdering a day old baby…a baby is a baby…a life is a life…

    The people who believe as Mr. Obama does should at least be consistent…it sure seems to them that life has little to no value, it just comes down to what is most convenient…

  2. Cynthia Says:

    I loved your post yesterday.

    I love your post today.

    …………yes great minds do think alike!!!

  3. tonyyork Says:

    I have weighed in before on this subject and because I have personal insight, I will weigh in again.

    My wife and I had to make a decision about abortion with our first child. We were both 21 and wanted this child. The doctors told us that she was non-viable and had scheduled the abortion because they didn’t want us to wait too long and miss the window of opportunity to have it done legally in Ohio.

    My non-viable fetus was born at 24 weeks gestation. She weighed 1 lb 8 ounces and fit in my hand. She’s had me wrapped around her little finger since and that was almost 16 years ago.

    My once non-viable, 24-week-gestation fetus calls me daddy and gives the greatest hugs.

    I thank God that He gave us the strength to say “No”.

    And my heart breaks for all those parents who live with horrible questions every “would-have-been-birthday”. God loves you just as much as He is loving on your child today.

  4. Read Tony’s blog and check out his family for more of the story and pix.

    Good post today and yesterday Heidi. I have only one question: want to tell me how you really feel? 🙂

  5. candidchatter Says:

    Tony’s story inspires me. He’s told me about it before. If anyone understands the heartache I felt at the loss of my baby last year, it’s Tony. Definitely.

    Bill: LOL!! Well, I guess I didn’t hold it back again. Silly me.

    Steve: Exactly.

    Cynthia: Thank you sweets. And aren’t we the geniuses. We are. We are.


  6. […] comes back with this one. The “Bold Post of the Week” award goes to this one and the this one, both from the same blogger. No question where she stands. And one more: check this one out for a […]

  7. Will_nottheactor Says:

    Write on, Heidi! No confusion here – the answer is none of the above!! I remember a story in a Focus on the Family newsletter from several years back, where a doctor got smacked upside the head by the Holy 2×4 during the preforming of an abortion. He inserted the needle for the saline injection, and the baby grabbed it! The doctor let go and the syringe started moving around because the baby had a firm grip of the needle. Talk about conviction!

    Awesome proof, Tony!

  8. candidchatter Says:

    So, Will, did the baby live?
    Thanks for commenting. 🙂


  9. Mark Says:


    Love your site, and the thought-provoking topics. Firstly let me say that my wife and I do not believe in abortion if it can be avoided at all (ectopic prognancies etc might be the only reason we would consider one).

    I would like to share the story of our last pregnancy with you. At the first scan, there was some concern by the medical staff that the baby (I wont call it a fetus) could possibly have Down’s Syndrome. We refused amniocentesis (Spelling?) as if it had been proven there would have been no treatment but only risk that the baby could die due to the test – is this test just used to inform parents that they need to have an abortion? Anyway, my wife did have a blood test to see if they could find out anything that way. I received the phone call with the results, and I quote: “Based on the mother’s age and the blood test, there is a one in six chance that the baby has Down’s Syndrome – do you want to book the abortion now?” It was still legal in the UK at about 22 weeks, but we refused withhout hesitation.

    So it would seem at least some of the medical profession would be quite happy to kill five totally ‘normal’ babies in order to make sure that one ‘different’ baby isn’t born.

    Anyway, forward to the birth – he came so quickly on his due day that I didn’t even have time to call an ambulance – he was born on the floor at home (Thank God for wooden floors!) with our eldest daughter and me as attending midwives (Amateur of course) and is our little Miracle. It transpires that he does indeed have Trisomy 21 (we prefer this rather than Down”s Syndrome) and so has potential challenges ahead. recently however I have started to compare him to the baby Jack-Jack from the movie ‘The Incredibles’ – he has super powers, we’re just not sure what they are yet. He has just turned one and is quite determined to do all the things his older brother can do – he is waving to me across the room at the moment as he eats his lunch. He is also quite a contortionist, being able to put his leg behind his head when he wants to.

    If you would like a scripture to define when a baby is alive, one example among many is: “For the life of the flesh is in the blood” – Leviticus 17v11. I don’t pretend to know when this is, but from your photos perhaps some time before the heartbeat of week 6? Well before the time at about week 24 where an abortion would still be legal here in the UK.

    If anyone reading this has already had an abortion and starting to have doubts, let me encourage you that it is possible to receive forgiveness.

    God Bless


  10. candidchatter Says:

    Mark: When I was pregnant with Jaxon (my youngest), I was told he had a choroid plexus cyst on his brain. The docs mentioned Trisomy 18 as well as Trisomy 21 as possible reasons for the cyst. I had to meet several times with a neonatologist for ultrasound after ultrasound. He suggested twice that because of my age (35) that I have an amnio. I said “no” the first time. The 2nd time I explained to him that I don’t care if my child is born with myriad deformities that I would not terminate the pregnancy so an amnio was unnecessary. The cyst went away all on its own (which is very common) and all subsequent tests came back normal. We have a normal 4 month old. I can’t imagine how many healthy babies have been terminated just with the news “your baby has a cyst on its brain” without further testing. I am sure it happens.

    I applaud you for keeping your precious son and WOW at his birth. That would scare me more than his situation with Tri21. Yikes! I would have been so nervous and good for you and your daughter for being the attending “physicians”. 🙂 Congrats on your beautiful family and may God bless you all. Thanks for your comment.

    Heidi Reed

  11. Amy Says:


    I appreciate your comment on forgiveness more than you can imagine. I had an abortion when I was 16 years old. The baby was at 6 weeks. I am 30 now, and have a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I have found Jesus, and purpose in life, but….I will never forget or stop regretting that decision I made as a child. I believe I would not have been a good mother at 16 years old. and I did not have the kind of parents who would have been supportive. But the thing that hurts the most now is when I see the bumper stickers and advertisements against abortion, it tears my heart out. I think about that child and what I did to him/her everyday. I made the ultimate mistake. I do not believe abortion is okay in any way, but I do wish people were more sensitive to those of us who made that horrible choice and have to live with the guilt for the rest of our lives. Thank God for His grace. The only thing that gets me through is knowing I am forgiven in the eyes of the Lord.

    God Bless

  12. I’ve missed this ongoing conversation.. We’ve had minor fertility issues and when unexpectedly pregnant with #4, our ob was aware that we believe ALL babies are from God. Multiple “offers” to consider termination due to many possible and confirmed diagnosis. We refused to even consider amniocentesis, let alone abortion. While we only had 6 1/2 months here with Seth, we wouldn’t trade those months for the world..

    I know we’ll see him again in Heaven, and Im with Mark. I ‘d encourage all women who’ve had an abortion to seek forgiveness, know that they are covered by the blood of Christ and they will have the opportunity to come to know that sweet soul for eternity.

  13. Lingkhecang Says:

    The regrets will never go away. No matter how long you have been away from the abortion,it stays in you, your mind, your heart, and soul.

  14. Jenni Says:

    If it has a heartbeat, its living, and if its a human, & living, abortion is MURDER. i don’t care what anyone says. I believe that if your 11, and raped, then that is different. that is a child of hate, and that baby can ruin this baby’s life, because an 11 year old is a baby. but if your 14 and up, your a capable of having a child. not keeping, but having. there are many couples who cannot have children, who would love to adopt. you must look at the options you have.

  15. karina Says:

    I understand where you all are coming from & I myself don’t think abortion is right…but it can be the only or best decision to some.
    I’m 18 and I’m a month and a half pregnant: the guy that I was with for a couple months that said he would take care of me if this was to ever happen left me as soon as he found out and asked an ex to marry him to get out of it, my divorced parents which still live together have told me that if this was to ever happen I would be kicked out, my dad has beaten me many times, I’m in college, I spend my free time protecting my mom and younger sister from my dad and myself because he molested me when I was 6 yrs. old. So even though I accept the fact that I could have done so much more to prevent this from happening, and that I am no child and should take responsibility…I also realize that this baby would have a terrible life in the situation I’m in. And I’m not saying my decision is right…but I have no other choice. I have nowhere to go and no-one to trust. I’m alone, and I know that I will one day regret the decision I have made of having an abortion, but there is no other way…if my dad finds out he will not only beat me, but I will be homeless like I have been before.
    Only thing I can really say I have learned from this is that no-one should stop thinking about their future and the baby that can be created, for a small period of “pleasure”. I have learned my lesson thanks to a terrible consequence I could have avoided…and my heart is broken because this is not something I ever wanted to go through…but there is no going back…only forward and preventing this from happening again…and also educating and talking to my siblings about safe sex and the consequences of not practicing it.
    This is a life changing experience and I’m so sorry…but like I said, there is no other way. Just to REALLY learn from it.

  16. elizabeth Says:


    you have had to live with some really terrible circumstances and I am so sorry to hear them. please look up a place in your city that houses pregnant mothers that need help. it might be a turning point in your life-you deserve to have a safe place to live. many covenant care organizations can house and feed you and then facilitate an adoption when the time comes. at least if you checked them out they could give you some positive loving guidance which you need. i dont know what city you live in but most will have some help for you and I encourage you to call around! take care of yourself and love in christ-elizabeth

  17. Heather Says:

    There is NEVER a right time to abort a baby. It makes me sick to even think that way. When I found out a was having a baby I was so very happy. When I told the father I was prego he wanted me to nd it.THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!! So I was going to be a single Mom and I wwas happy with that. But on November 19,2009 my baby became an angel. I was 9 weeks. Just look at the pic of the 8 week you have. I miss my baby more than I can say. Then there are those sick people who kill there baby. That is so wrong!!!!

  18. rene Says:

    When I was 18 I got pregnant.At that time I was a student with no job,no money and with my boyfriend who wanted that child,but it really was a bad time.I made a desicion to abort the baby.When I was so young I didn’t have time to think what happened and later I split with my boyfriend and I actually thought I made a right desicion!
    After 13 years I got pregnant with my life love.We were so happy and couldn’t wait to have that baby.At 37 weeks pregnancy I lost my baby,I gave a birth to a beautiful stillborn baby boy.After I was so depressed,lost and I couldn’t believe what happened to me.God punished me for aborting my first baby.I still think it was a lesson from God.I moved on.Happily after a coule years I gave birth to a beautiful,healthy baby girl and I am expecting another baby girl due next spring.
    If I could turn time back I choose a diffirent desicion I made 16 years ago.

  19. Reagan Says:

    Please don’t kill your baby, there are so many other options for you… If you do the right thing, Jesus will take care of you. Have some faith, find someone who WILL support you, and love your baby. ALL babies are blessings.

  20. jocelyn Says:

    I just wanted to say that I was 16 when I got pregnant. Its scary, and it made things harder, but I never considered abortion. I was only with my boyfriend for 3 months when we found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was in a continuation school when I got pregnant, and then went on homestudy when I had my son, and still managed to get back on track and walk with my class and the regular high school. My son is now 2 1/2 years old and I have been married to his dad for 1 year and we are expecting our second baby in sept. I just wish girls didnt try and use being young and no job as an excuse for this. We both didnt have jobs or money or anything but we figured it out and knew we had to do it. I know that I am lucky to have such a great guy that stuck by me even at 16 years old, and this isnt the situation for all those young girls, but they can do it it wont be easy but the truth is its never easy to be a mom, its work! For all those who have had abortions, I dont judge you. and I hope that girls relize those babies can have a great life and if you honestly beleive for the well being of your child you can not take care of it, consider adoption. so many couples despretly want children and cant.

  21. candidchatter Says:

    Thank you for your comment Jocelyn and CONGRATULATIONS!!

  22. Ashley Says:

    Hey! Just a few months ago I had an abortion. I regret this wholeheartedly. The baby’s father said he wasnt going to help take care of the baby and that i needed to get rid of it so ,me being so young, i listened to him. Before i had the procedure done i could feel my baby begging for its life. I cry every night and ask God to forgive me even though i know he has already forgiven me. So to every one that is thinking about abortion, PLEASE DON’T DO IT. Everyone deserves to live.
    Thanks for listening to me.
    GOD Bless

  23. Karina,

    Just saw your post and would like to encourage you that the whole family needs to get away from your father it seems to me. I have no idea what help is available in your area but I hope and pray to God that something is. Don’t let the situation dictate to you – but pray, trust God for the strength to do what you have to do, and you will be so blessed by it. And the greatest blessing will be to see the little one growing (if it’s not too late)

    By the way, sounds like your whole family will need some breaking of this generational curse on you – just give it to God and ask forgiveness for the whole family, including your father – it was most likely a repetition of what he went through with someone earlier that you probably don’t even know about. DON’T LET IT CONTINUE!

    I would love the opportunity to pray with you in love and without judging – email your number to me and I’ll call you from Australia where I am at the moment –

    PS this offer is open to anyone thinking about abortion, wanting to find forgiveness after the fact, or wanting to break generational curses, anywhere in the world.

  24. Drone Says:

    So ok, there is a heartbeat, but does a heartbeat equal life? We ‘pull the plug’ on people with viable heart beats every single day (when they are declared ‘brain dead’) . The fact of the matter is that its not a heartbeat but rather the mind that makes or breaks life in my eyes.

    You are ‘born’ when your mind turns on (and I don’t mean rudimentary activity in the primitive parts of the brain.) and you die when that mind turns permanently off…

    On a side-note:
    If we all succumbed to G*d’s will and TRULLY trusted in Him, would we not shun life-support systems (since they keep you alive despite G*d’s obvious wish), incubators, antibiotics et. al.? Aborting is interfering with G*d’s will, but keeping people alive through artificial means is not? I don’t get it…

  25. Cathleen Says:

    I was pregnant at 16 years old and i was very scared and alone, my family was telling me to have an abortion my doctor also said that abortion was an answer that could fix everything for me. I said to the doctor fix what this is my baby and i will cherish her and look after her forever, which i did. She is now in high school i am now happily married to a man who supports me where expecting our fourth baby now and we are financially well secured. So young mothers can survive by themselves even when everybody else is giving them no hope, look at your future and when you see your baby for the first time and look into their eyes you will know that you have done the right thing. My baby was born with a serious heart defect and needed surgery which i also faced on my own you will always be able to find the strength that you need in your darkest hour. Never give up listen to your heart and your babys heart your baby needs you the most.

  26. Caitlin Says:

    Oh my goodness! It’s so amazing to hear these stories! I’m a teen and I’ve never been in such a situation where I’ve had to make such a difficult choice. But God has called me to open a crisis pregnancy center in my future – a place where young women can be helped and given support when they are stuck in this situation. Abortion is not the answer. It causes so many problems in the mother (and many times the father) physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ve researched this topic so much!
    I feel so terrible for girls who think abortion is their only option, and my encouragement is this: that child is a child. Her heart began beating about 18 days after conception. Blood flows through those tiny veins (not the mother’s blood, but the baby’s blood). There is so much help available to women struggling with this decision. I volunteer at this place called CareNet. They offer so much help – counseling, parenting classes, pregnancy tests, STD tests, clothes and materials for baby and mother, so much information, and so much support. They can also help in the adoption process and finding shelter if the mother does not have any place to stay. Adoption, while hard, is such a loving choice! You can even choose the family you want your child to stay with (called an open adoption) and even arrange to see your child regularly if you wish! There are so many other options, but abortion is always heart-breaking (whether you feel it hours or years later).

  27. Alli Says:

    I can’t stress how absolutely moronic this whole thing was…

  28. Krystine Says:

    I just googled “8 week old featus” to see what the baby I am miscarrying right now would look like, and came across this site.
    I dont believe that abortion is right, but in some circumstances, it is the only option. For teen mums that got pregnant while fooling around, it shouldnt be an option. There is adoption for those circumstances. For people that were raped, I believe it should be an option, and for babies that it can be proven beyond a doubt that it would cause the baby more pain to stay alive, then maybe. But coming from the hurt inside me right now, I can honestly say that I dont know why people see it as a neccessity as means to an end. I couldnt imagine going through this voluntarily.

  29. candidchatter Says:

    Krystine: I am deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I, too, lost a baby at 8 weeks gestation. It was the worst day of my life. Blessings to you for healing and recovery.

  30. Tracey Says:

    i agree that it is never right but i would support a friend if that is what she really wanted this is because i may believe for my self that i could never kill a child and thats how i see it but others have a right to there opinion and if they feel it is right for them who am i to tell them not to. i know for myself that i could never do it at any stage

  31. Tracey Says:

    and also my elsest is from me being raped but like i said i couldnt do it but others feel its there only option for those people who feel that yes it should be available

  32. Savannah Says:

    I was 15 years old when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was one of the lucky ones. I had a supportive mother that told me what ever decision I chose she would stand behind me and she did. I have never been for abortion. I think it is a sick thing to do. I am studying now to be in the medical field and I have seen one thing that would be the only reason to abort. Believe me I am totally against it but when there is a major defect with the baby like it has no heart or brain, that would be the only way.

    I have known someone that was very selfish and decided to have an abortion because the baby was not a girl. This person already had a baby boy and wanted a girl. Needless to say I could not be around that person anymore after I heard that. The lord would let us get pregnant if he did not see that we could find a way to take care of this baby. My son is now 8 years old and very healthy. I am still with my sons father and we are now expecting our second son. I look at it this way even with rape. Yes it was a crime what happened to the woman but if you don’t think you can take care of this baby then why not just give it up? There are many people out there that want children and most adoption places will help with the healthcare and everything. I knew a friend that had to go through this though she never wanted to and it turned out for the best.

    There is always a choice and I feel that abortion is not really a choice that should be given…..


  33. Celestial Brandley Says:

    I love this!!! Totally agree!!!

  34. beibi Says:

    hey,. you know i give birth 3mos ago.,. my babay died he is premature an 8mos old,. i did try to abort him,. its too latre when i decided to Love him,.. cous im so scared of my dady!! now i cannot move on! he live 2days only T_T

  35. beibi Says:

    its so hard,. that i tried to kill him,.. he has dolicho microephalic head because i take an abortion pills when doctor says that his brains develop!! i hope my baby and GOd forgive me,. i decided to continue when im 6mos pregnant and my tummy not so look like a pregnant ai think its because of the pills then i give bithh premature 8mos baby!

  36. Anne Says:

    I’m pro-life, but wanted to clarify one thing. Partial birth abortion isn’t the only option after 20 weeks. Some women might opt for a c-section in an emergency situation. Others might deliver through induction. 5 years ago I had a baby whom I loved and wanted, and was not only diagnosed with a fatal condition, but her condition created problems for me. I was told many things could happen, like I could hemorrhage and bleed to death. If I induced labor at 40 weeks, the same outcome would have been reached. My baby girl simply could not live outside of my body. We induced at 22 weeks to save my life. They put nothing in her, and nothing in me besides pitocin. She was born still, but whole and loved, and has been grieved for 5 long years. I wish the choice was always black and white, but sometimes we choose between terrible and horrible and there is no good answer at all.

    I hope to preserve the lives of the unborn and hope that by supporting programs designed to help women so that more will make the choice for life. Since my loss I’ve had 3 live births and am six weeks pregnant with what will be my 7th live birth (God willing). Life is beautiful.

  37. hannah Says:

    abortion should be banned all over the world if you dont want a baby dont get pregnant simple i hate people who think it is right to abort. it is NEVER right to abort !!!!!!!!!

  38. Thank you for the pictures. There is little difference between the appearance of a child at 21/22 weeks and 23/24 weeks. They are both (or all four) potentially viable at that stage of gestation if born extremely prematurely. (At a university hospital neo-natal unit with experienced staff and mechanical ventilation, at 22 weeks the survival rate – to beyond two years of age – is over 20%; at 24 weeks the survival rate is 56%.) Killing any of those viables is infanticide. See Late-Term 2nd-Trimester D&E Abortion of Viables’ Presentation April 9, 2011, at

  39. rodneia roque Says:

    wow. I feel compelled to reply based on Heidi’s story. I was almost 40 when I had my twins (after years of trying, we got pregnant just as we were to give up). At 6 weeks everything was okay. At about the 3rd month, I was told that my babies limbs seemed shorter than they should be, according to their ages and related to their body measures. So I was watched very closely. The next ultrasound they said there were white spots in the major organs developing, and they wanted me to be tested as they felt my babies were showing trisome 18 and 21 as well as possible many other problems. I thought my world was crashing, but I automatically refused the tests. They told me based on the ultrasound I should really considered the amionic fluid testing so I could decide if I really wanted to keep the babies. I told them that I would not do it and risk the life of my babies with a test that would not change the outcome either way, and that the choice to keep them was already made, no matter the results.
    At 5 1/2 months I started feeling really strange. I got my husband to take me to the hospital and they found out I was fully ephased (spelling?) and already 6cm dilated. I was admitted to hospital where I stayed until my babies were born prematurely at 7 months exactly (28 weeks). They were both under 2 lbs. They were in ICU for one month, then in the nursing ward for another 1 month. Then they came home and were on oxygen for another 8 months. We had doctor’s appointments (due to their prematurity) almost weekly for the 1st year.

    But I am happy to say that other than being premature, my babies were absolutely healthy, and are beautiful almost 6 year old today. My son has a asthma because his lungs were so premature, but neither of my children have any other health problems and are developing at the average rate for their age. Their are active and beautiful little children and the joy of my life.
    The point of this was, that parents need to realize that many times ultrasounds are incorrect and I wonder how many wrong decisions were made based on such results, even to just have further testing that may endanger the fetus. The news I got was devastating, however had I even done the test, I am afraid, based on my early delivery and how my body naturally reacted, that one, or both of my children would have been aborted as a result of the test itself. I think as a comment to Heidi Reed’s post about babies being terminated based on tests that turn out to be wrong… I think it may be more than we like to think of.

  40. thanks for such an awesome post!my daughter is 12 weeks pregnant and this just tears at my heartstrings.

  41. rockyfort Says:

    Found this site while looking for pictures of children at 20 weeks gestation to make a commentary on the defeat by pro-deathers of Texas SB 5. I don’t want to copy pic without permission, so let me ask if I might copy the pic at 20 weeks and use it to make the point that the pro-death crowd thinks that protecting lives at this stage is too restrictive. (email is to grant permission) Thanks! I appreciate the amazing pictures.

  42. rockyfort Says:

    Reblogged this on Daily Enduring Truth and commented:
    As I was looking for pictures like this to make a commentary about our states failure to pass legislation providing some measure of protection for the unborn I found this blog post which shows the development of a child from the union of sperm and egg until birth. Great commentary here. Check it out.

  43. stacey Says:

    Hello there, I am a 32 yr old single mum of 5 13and under from new zealand and am 12 weeks pregnant I have been up all night as i have an only time for a termination tomorrow being either tomorrow or never………i have been saying yes, no, yes, no all day in my head and am so glad i found this post…it has has put greater sense into my decision and thanks to you i have decided to go through with pregnancy and to toughen up 🙂 now i will be cancelling appt first thing in the morning!!!

  44. candidchatter Says:

    Stacey, I am so happy you will choose life for your child. Your comment has changed my whole life. Thank you for taking the time to let me know that something I wrote exactly 5 years ago has impacted your life and your child’s future. God bless you both.

  45. Melanie Says:

    Stacey–praying for you and your unborn baby.

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