Need Breastfeeding Support? April 22, 2009

Go here: Custom-Made Milk

And don’t delay!
I would not have made it this far breastfeeding my little Jaxon if not for her help and the help of those like her.
Run. Don’t walk. Go now!

The Last One as Four January 9, 2009

Well, this is it. Every time we are about to have a baby I go through these “last” thoughts. This is our last weekend as a family of four. In fact, this is our last Friday as a family of four. Next Friday I will be discharged (God willing) and we will be on our way as a family of five.

Enjoy your weekend. We plan to do a whole bunch of nothing, truly. I need to rest as much as I can.

You’ll get one last post from me on Monday and then I may not be back on for a few days. Melanie will post on Tuesday when she can to give you all the glorious details about the baby so check in for that fun day of awesomeness.

I will try for internet access from my laptop at the hospital. If I can manage to make it happen, I will post pictures.

Thanks for visiting Candid Chatter. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. Thank you for being my internet buddies. Thank you for everything.

See you soon!

My Precious Little Life January 8, 2009

I
Can’t
Wait
To
Meet
You

Will you look like him?
Will you look like me?
Will you look like them?
Blue eyes? Brown? Green?
Blond hair? Brown? Red?
Chubby cheeks?

Mommy loves you.
Daddy loves you.
Brianna & Jeremy love you too.
You have a huge family.
Just wait till they all see you.
Soon, my lovely one. Soon.

*all photos courtesy of
Google Images*

You’ve Got Male December 30, 2008

So according to me I am 38+ weeks pregnant. According to my flawed doctors and their reliance on ultrasound at 7 weeks gestation (yes, that’s sarcasm) I am 37+ weeks gestation. Doesn’t really matter though — both get me to full-term (a full-term singleton pregnancy is one that reaches 37 weeks — that’s when baby lungs are fully developed).

Ok. So what. Right?

Well I am here to tell you that I have made it this far — inches from giving birth — and the gender “secret” has been utterly ruined. People just aren’t used to keeping gender a secret in our current times. Now, I thought my Mother-in-law had spoiled it awhile ago when we thought there may be a cyst on the baby’s brain. She was (besides my medical crew) the only one who knew the gender b/c she went with me to the ultrasound and I told the sonographer that it was ok to tell her. But I was certain she’d keep her lips shut. So certain that I allowed her to come. Well when I got the news she did the whole “he, him, his” thing as she was trying to console me. Unbelievable.

Then came the series of ultrasounds (nine) and echocardiograms (three) on the little wee one. I still didn’t know the gender. I refused to look at the screen during examination near the nether regions.

The perinatologist, an unemotional guy I’m sure due to the nature of his job, slipped once and called the baby “he”. He didn’t react, but ever so slickly went back to calling the baby “the baby”. Hmm.

Out of about 100 people, I kid you not, all but 3 have said “it’s a boy” and a few were complete strangers (remember Home Depot guy?).

Well I had a regular OB check and non-stress test Monday. The midwife decided to examine me in the NST (non-stress test) room. During a NST my baby and my uterus are monitored. I can hear the baby’s heartbeat the whole time. It’s my job to click this button thingy whenever I feel it move. The goal is for the baby’s heart rate to go up during movement. If it goes down, there is trouble. All three of my full-term babies have repeatedly passed this test. Thank God!

Ok so the midwife is coming into the room saying all loud and proud “that little boy is so active, I can hear his heartbeat all the way down the hallway, he’s a happy little guy in there”. For crying in your Cheerios!!! Are you serious? I have gone an entire pregnancy without knowing for sure if it’s a boy or not until exactly 2 weeks from my c-section. Aaaaahhhhhh [me screaming]!!!!! You have GOT to be kidding me!! Someone who shall remain nameless (Dorothy the midwife) apparantly did not read the part of my chart which said “gender unknown to Mom by choice”.

So the slips were slips and could very well have meant nothing because a lot of people say “he”. However, “little boy, little guy” is waaaay more than a slip.

I know it’s rare to not know gender these days. I am well aware of that. But it was so cool hearing Rich call out Jeremy’s gender in the operating room. I just wanted that experience one more time. This is it for us. Once our newest baby boy is born I will have no more pregnancies. Tubes tied. Snipped. Burned. Kaput!

Am I mad? No. I had a feeling it’s a boy too. Lots of similarities with the end of my pregnancy with little Jay-Jay. But I didn’t know for sure.

Am I disappointed? Greatly. I feel like my moment of hearing that excitement in Rich’s voice as he gets to tell me we just had a little baby boy has been robbed.

I won’t dwell. I won’t. What can we do? Nothing.

But [sigh] I just think that sucks a little. Ya know?

Google Images
“newborn boy”

Many Years Later December 5, 2008

A certain person I know has, for years, said negative and demeaning things about people who have large families. Things like “they’re crazy”, “they must be nuts”, “how can they give their kids enough attention”, “it’s ridiculous (or irresponsible) to have that many kids”. And so on.

Believe it or not, I have kept my mouth shut — taking it with a grain of salt each time.
That is, until today.

I have had it up to my hairline and beyond with these kinds of remarks. It doesn’t help that this person and I had a heated discussion yesterday regarding the dumbest advice I think I’ve ever been given by a person who has no right even breathing a word on the subject considering this person’s lack of responsible behavior in a certain area. That is vague on purpose.

My parents raised 7 children. My paternal grandparents raised 13 while my maternal grandparents raised 8. To say I come from a big family is the understatement of the year. I believe I have somewhere around 75 first cousins with both families combined. I have no idea how many of those cousins have produced children of their own. I’m sure the numbers now are well over 100 with first and second cousins combined. And we’re still having children. Some of my first cousins are still under the age of 10. I think a couple may even be under age 5. Huge family! Absolutely humongous!

In my family segment, my precious parents (who have been married for over 36 years) have their ninth grandchild on the way (our wee one). One of my sisters is trying to get pregnant with her 2nd. One of my sisters has three girls. My brother has 2 girls. My youngest sister just got married last weekend. Two of my siblings are in serious relationships, but not married yet. That leaves a whole bunch of room for more nieces and nephews for me and many more grandchildren for my parents of awesomeness. I think Christmas, one day, will be unbelievably expensive for all of us. Yikes!!

So for anyone to condemn large families to me is like calling my entire family a bunch of idiots.

Not a good idea.
It’s an even worse idea while I’m all chock full of hormones and 8 months pregnant.
Yeah. Dumb move.

So I did what any upstanding young woman with her third child on the way would do. I shot the person dead and now I’m going to jail.

Nah. In my mind I wanted to rip out hair and poke out eyeballs though.

First of all, both of my lovely heathens were fighting and yelling in the seat right behind me. The person on the phone heard the commotion and said “what would you do if you had 10 of them”. I said “I’d throw every last one out the window”. We chuckled. Then the person said “well what do you think about people who do have 10 kids then — they are nuts, aren’t they”? I stopped the chuckle right then. “You know what” I said. “You’ve been saying derogatory things about people who have a lot of kids for many years now and I’ve put up with it. I’ve been patient. I’ve been kind. But you must understand that when you say things like that you are putting down my entire family and that hurts my feelings. I don’t like it even a little bit and it doesn’t amuse me.” The person sounded taken aback and said “what well I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just mean that I couldn’t handle it”. I received and accepted an apology and then quickly got off the phone.

Right after that the girls at Subway started in on me having a girl and a boy already and what made me decide to have another child since I have one of each. I must be crazy they say and all three laugh it up. I played along. Deep inside I was painfully aware of the way I am viewed by society. I have too many kids. I am crazy to want more. How do I do what I do? Why? How? Ha ha ha this is so funny and entertaining.

No.

It’s not funny. It’s not entertaining.
It’s disgusting.

I am proud of my family. I am proud of my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and cousins who have decided to grow their families despite what anyone else thinks or says. I had a wonderful childhood. I would change nothing about it. I love my family deeply.

I’m sick of being the butt of jokes. I am sick of being the circus who just arrived because it’s oh such a novelty to ask Heidi to tell the whole room full of people how many cousins/aunts/uncles or whatnot she has. I can hear the circus music play as the laughter fills the room along with the wide-eyed expressions on the faces of unbelieving or astonished people.

My family is not a circus.
My family is not crazy.
My family is awesome.

If it were up to me, I’d have more children. Not the natural way, however. But if Rich would open his heart to it I’d certainly adopt — at least one, maybe more.

I love kids.
I grew up surrounded by love.
My family may not have lots of money, but they sure do have lots of love.
An overabundance of it, in fact.

And. It. Makes. Me. Proud.

Summer Gets It November 17, 2008

I took the kids to the playground today. We have a favorite one in a really cool neighborhood that we frequent. I waddled over to the swings and began my exercises of the day pushing both kids on two different swings. Don’t think that’s exercise? Try it. Now try it with a bowling ball strapped to your stomach. I dare ya!

Anyway. There was a darling young woman pushing her daughter next to us. She asked me the typical “when are you due” question. I told her “in 8 more weeks… January”. Not one ounce of shock or judgment on her pretty face. I instantly liked her. She replied “awww, I just love pregnant women — I loved being pregnant — well, that is, until the end”. I was all shocked and dramatic making faces and laughing because pregnancy is not something I enjoy except for the fetal movement. I said “well this is the end pretty much — third trimester and all”. She grinned. Lovely gal. Just lovely.

{Pause for a note to my friend LB: she reminded me of you — she had your personality to a “T”}

The kids did their normal round-the-playground routine. I followed as closely as my short little legs could manage. Rock wall, rings, slide, bridge, stairs, “watch this mom”, “see what I can do mom”, hang from bars, try to climb palm tree, throw mulch, find shells, back to the swings, etc. Fun for them and exhausting for me. Huff Puff Huff Puff.

Mrs. Personality came back over to the swings when we were there for our 2nd go. She talked about wanting a 3rd child too and how ready she is to start trying. I guess her husband is resisting. I told her mine did too (someday I’ll tell the whole story — still not ready yet). She said she wasn’t sure how hard to fight for it. I told her “some things are worth fighting for”. She smiled sweetly.

Jeremy called from across the playground wanting my help. She offered to go get him off the ladder and I scooted over to push her little girl on the swing. Brianna was going pretty high so she didn’t protest. We thanked one another and kept chit-chatting. Turns out we had a few things in common regarding our opinions of our city and a snooty neighborhood we both used to live in. We had a couple laughs.

After a bit she decided to go home to get lunch for her two girls. She was there with a friend who was also pregnant and looking very tired of chasing her little one. I understood. So we said goodbye and “nice chatting with you” and she wished me luck with the yet unborn wee one. I thanked her and she left.

Have you ever met someone completely out of nowhere and wanted to be friends?

Two things that left a happy feeling in my heart.
1. She mentioned she goes to church and works in the nursery — this makes me happy because it could very well mean she’s a born-again Christian which means even if I don’t see her again in this life, I’ll surely look her up in the next.
2. She put the word community into action — this is what we are missing in our society. She’s the link.

Her name is Summer. And Summer, by golly, you get it. You are the “it” chick. Not because you’re pretty. Not because you live in a nice neighborhood. Not because you have a cool hairstyle and cool sunglasses. No. It’s because you are friendly — genuinely friendly — and you love to laugh and you ooze joy. I can imagine when your husband kisses you good night he pinches himself he’s so lucky. I’ll bet he knows the blessing you are in his life. I hope your daughters grow up to be just like you.

And I would love to be your friend. Just not sure we’ll ever meet again. But if we do…
Well, I’ll see what God has in mind.

You’re the real deal, Summer. So many people could take a lesson from you. Too many.

And — I cannot believe you liked being pregnant. I happen to believe you have forgotten a lot.

Hypo vs. Hyper November 13, 2008

Gestational Diabetes is nothing to mess around with. I’m sure any form of Diabetes is dangerous when the Diabetic ignores his or her diagnosis and diet. Right now, as I type this, I have gone hypoglycemic. It is a terrible feeling. Since I have started diabetic meds it is important that I eat regularly, including snacks, throughout the day.

I got home from picking up Brianna and within minutes I was shaking and dizzy. Uh oh. I took out the glucose meter to check my blood glucose levels. Before I left to go get her it was 99. That’s a check 2 hours after breakfast and it’s a good number. Just an hour later it was all the way down to 68. Not good. Hypoglycemia starts at 70 for a diabetic. I knew something wasn’t right.

Immediately I popped open the jar of mixed nuts and started munching. Then I got the strawberry yogurt out of the fridge and slurped it down as fast as I could. I’ll recheck my sugar levels in 5 minutes. If they’re still too low I’ll eat an apple or maybe a peanut butter cookie. I don’t want to spike it, but I also need to get a bit above 70.

It happens fast. If hypoglycemia is left unchecked a diabetic person can lose consciousness. That’s not in the mix for me. Who would help? It is important that I am aware of the signs at all times.

Hyperglycemia is a bit more dangerous as I understand it. This is what fits me in the category of Gestational Diabetic. When I don’t eat right and take meds my blood sugars are elevated. Two hours after each meal my magic number needs to be below 120. If I have 2 slices of pepperoni pizza, for example, my number is usually around 175 as a diabetic. That’s a major no-no. Pasta, potato, rice, anything high in carbs or white flour or sugar will all make my numbers escalate.

The problem with this, besides the dangers to my health, is that it could affect the unborn baby in one way or another. The most obvious is high birth weight. The other problems that are much more serious are low blood sugar in newborn infant, trouble breathing, and still birth.

So it’s a bit complicated and takes some getting used to. I don’t like checking my blood levels 4+ times a day. It hurts and it’s inconvenient. I’d rather eat a baked potato with my steak rather than a side of broccoli. I want the occasional sweet treat.

It’s not just my good health that is a concern. When the health of another person depends on you and what you eat and how you monitor “things” then a new determination surfaces and you gain a self-control you may not have realized you have.

Strangely, I’m sort of thankful I’ve had this disease 3 times now. I have learned so much about how the body uses food for fuel that the transition from being a pregnant diabetic to a non-pregnant woman who needs to lose 50+ pounds is smooth. This is why I love the South Beach diet. Its menu is centered around the glycemic index — a very important tool for a diabetic.

My number after all of that drama is 91. The nuts and yogurt worked like a charm and I feel back to normal now. Off to eat lunch — a healthy one of course.

Wisdom for the New Mom-to-Be November 12, 2008

I’m sure there are a few of you who read this who can add to the list. When I was in BabiesRUs quickly scanning the items for my baby registry, I saw quite a few confused new parents-to-be trying to figure out what they need and what they don’t need.

I remember doing a whole bunch of returning when I was pregnant with Brianna following my first baby shower. I recall one of my friends laughing at me and shaking her head. Well, I got a whole bunch of crap that was less important to me than the stuff I thought I really needed. Who wouldn’t choose bottles over socks? Seriously.

I declined baby shower offers when I was pregnant with Jeremy. Brianna was a mere 10 months old when I got pregnant with him. I had everything I needed left over from her. I was smart and got neutral everything. I knew I wanted more kids and if I had bought all pink I would have needed everything all over again. Plus, being that I’m a research hound, I learned that babies can only see in black, white, and red clearly when they are small.

Well this time is different. Since I thought we’d be adopting our third child I gave just about everything away. The big stuff, that is. No swing. No bouncer. No tub. And I remember needing pacifiers and pacifier clips. My diaper bag had been through a war zone — or at least it appeared that way — and I needed a new one of those too. So here is a partial list from a Mom of two and a Mom-to-be of three who will all be under the age of five. Yes, I am crazy. Just ask anyone who knows me.

1. No matter what the magazines or books or well-meaning relatives tell you YOU DO NOT NEED A BASSINET!!
2. Travel yards (pack and plays) are up to the individual. I never used mine for a play pen. I never took it anywhere with me. What I did use it for was another place to lie the baby down to sleep besides the crib. The crib is in the bedroom. The pack and play can go anywhere else — I kept it in the living room.
3. If you get a high chair you better get one that is on wheels and easy to clean.
4. Ignore the lactation nurses and once your infant is 4 weeks old get that baby a pacifier. Yes, you’re welcome.
5. Let’s talk bibs — only buy the absorbent ones. The cute ones that aren’t terry cloth are just that… cute! They are worthless. If you don’t listen to me here, you’ll see shortly as the spit up runs down the non-absorbent bib onto your shirt, lap, or floor.
6. Diaper bags. Do NOT get a diaper bag that will embarrass your husband. If he won’t carry it, you are screwed my dear. The end.
7. Yes, burp cloths are important. They will become a part of your wardrobe. Again, always choose absorbent over cute.
8. Breastfeeding? One word — Lansinoh. You’re welcome.
9. Babies (infants) don’t need or want toys. Wait. Just hold off for a few months. They could care less. What they want is warmth, tight swaddling, your touch, your voice, and your face.
10. The cheap diapers work just as well as Pampers or Huggies.
11. Get the disposable wash cloths that have the soap already in them. You’ll use these suckers every single bath time and with one hand holding the baby you won’t be able to soap up a washcloth the regular way. You can find these little miracles at WalMart, BabiesRUs, and Target. You can get like 20 in a box for around $3.00.
12. Get used to raw hands from washing them so much. Buy a really good hand lotion — one that won’t stay greasy or sticky or slimy. I’d also stay away from any brand that has a fragrance since that will burn if your hands start to crack.
13. Tummy cream doesn’t work. Don’t waste your money. You will get stretch marks. It’s a fact of life. Well, unless you are one of the lucky ones. But most of us aren’t lucky.
14. You will NEVER use a travel swing. Forget it. I know it’s cute. Put it down and walk away.

What else do you need??

• A safe car seat that doubles as an infant carrier
• A good, sturdy swing
• A bouncer seat
• A stroller — my recommendation is a travel system where the stroller and car seat all fit together
• Lots of blankets
• Lots of absorbent bibs and burp cloths
• Onesies
• Socks
• Pacifiers and clips that attach to baby’s clothes
• A good thermometer
• A blue suction thingy and keep it handy at all times incase your little one has acid reflux and chokes on his or her own spit up and then can’t breathe (been there, done that)
• A good baby monitor. Don’t get the one with video. If you’re asleep you won’t see the little tyke anyway. Get one that doesn’t have a lot of interference and won’t drive you nuts with all the bells and whistles (or lights) when you’re trying to sleep at night.
• A sleep positioner

Good luck and congratulations New Mommy. Your whole world is about to be turned upside down and sideways. Is it worth it? You better believe it — every single sleepless minute.

Seasoned Moms (or Dads)
What would you add
to the list?

So When are You Due? November 2, 2008

I get asked that a lot. A super lot. When I say January 19th I get funny looks most of the time. However, if you count that I am really only about 10 weeks away from having this child in my arms instead of in my belly then it seems not so far away.

I had a lot of cramping and tightness in my stomach Friday night. I rolled over to my left side and they went away. I seriously think this baby will be here before mid-January. We’ll see.

My baby shower was Saturday. It was wonderful and so feminine and fun. I really enjoyed myself and I didn’t want to leave all my friends when it was over. We had a good, good time!!

So I am 29 weeks pregnant. When I saw these pictures I thought I don’t look as big as I look in the mirror. That’s odd. Usually it’s the opposite. Anyway. Here’s me. Now you know why I waddle.

Heidi at 29 weeks

Bib says “Sweet Pea”
Awwwww.

By the way, I have a picture of me with my friend (forgot to see if I could post it on here and I won’t w/out her consent) belly to belly. She is due 1 week after me. She knows she’s having a girl this time — her third as well. I don’t know the gender of ours even though I suspect it’s a boy. In the photo her bump is high in her belly where my bump is way low. But as I compare my photo with my other kids — my bump looks more like it did with Brianna than it did with Jeremy. She was low. He was higher. Funny. So even though I’ll be shocked if it’s a girl — it very well could be.

Oh and I think we picked a name if it is a boy. And it IS one of the names mentioned in this post. So somebody is going to win a $50.00 donation to the charity of their choice. Is it you?? You’ll find out in a few weeks. Fun fun fun!!!

My kids have been sick for 3 weeks off and on. Most recently Brianna got hit hard with something as she was recovering from the other thing. Guess who has it now? You got it — I cannot take anything for it though so please say a prayer that I’ll get well soon. Few things drag a Mommy down more than being sick, tired, and heavily pregnant all at once. Jeepers!!

Crap News October 23, 2008

Tuesday I had to do my second glucose test. I drank the funky drink and an hour later they drew blood. I felt weird after drinking it, but I felt that way last time (a few weeks ago). I got the dreaded call. The nurse said in her nicey nice, sing-song voice that “we’d really like to see your number below 140, but it was 152”. That means I have to go off to the lab for the 3 hour glucose test. Like I have time for that.

I declined the HIV blood test this time. I figure since I passed it with the other 2 kids and they all have the same dad there is no need to repeat that one. I know I’m negative.

I also declined the cystic fibrosis test. Again, same dad for all three kids and the last two times I took it I was negative for the gene or whatever they are looking for.

My OB appointments will be every 2 weeks for now. If I test positive for gestational diabetes (and it’s not looking good for me), then I will also have non-stress tests every week right around the holidays. Doesn’t that sound like a boat load of fantastic fun? I know you’re all green with envy now because trying to find a babysitter for 2 doctor’s appointments a week every other week while juggling a preschooler’s schedule is so easy and having to abstain from any sweets during Christmas and New Years is easy peezy. Yep. You. Wish. You. Were. Me. I can tell.

I will survive and I know all of this is in the best interest of my baby. I understand why they operate in this fashion and I will submit to their testing and such. As a matter of fact, if it wasn’t for non-stress tests once a week I would not have known I was in labor with Jeremy and things would have been a lot more complicated and stressful the day he was born. I’m sure several hours later I would have figured it out, but by then I would have been home alone with a 19 month old and 40 minutes from the hospital with a husband almost an hour and a half from home. I imagine an ambulance would have needed to be involved as well as a mad rush from the in-laws to come be with my little girl. I imagine Rich would not have made it to the hospital in time to see Jeremy’s birth. I imagine it would have been a horrible few hours.

So crappy news on the diabetes thing. But I’ll be fine. Just don’t slurp too loudly as you indulge in your sweet treats this holiday season. I might just reach through the wires and slap your face off. LOL!