Candid Chatter

Just Say It

Change on the Horizon September 19, 2010

Filed under: Faith — candidchatter @ 5:52 am
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I am willing to overlook certain things for the sake of harmony.

When I married Rich I was all about his “perfection”. It took quite a long time and a few minor happenings to make me realize that he isn’t perfect and I needed to overlook that. Sure I was disappointed, but it was not the end of us. In fact, I’m quite certain there will not be an end to us (our marriage) this side of death.

Not so with my friendships. First of all, I don’t like being friends with girls. Too much dang drama topped with more drama. Ick! But, over the last 10 years I have learned that friendship is a relationship and just because a friend makes me mad I shouldn’t go off dropping them like a hot potato. At least, not the first time. [wink]

Lately, though, I have started to feel the need to reevaluate certain relationships. I don’t have time for riff-raff. On one hand, I am called to forgive as I have been forgiven. MmmK. That’s impossible. I am pretty certain Jesus knew that would be impossible without his Divine intervention. I can’t even forgive a certain local cable company for delaying my refund let alone someone who has insulted me. He also said to turn the other cheek. Gulp. I hear him, but again I am unable without his assistance. I am pretty sure he was aware that he’d be called upon to heal those situations when I am unable.

On the other hand, I think when something starts to poison one’s spiritual life and/or stunt spiritual growth, then it’s time to step back and begin to reevaluate the place this certain something has in one’s life. Should it stay and continue to be overlooked or should it go and be replaced with the antidote?

I want a deeper spiritual view. I want the freedom to be radical. I want to go where everyone is loved just b’cuz. I want the freedom to express myself. I want to grow and blossom. I want more than status quo.

Change is on the horizon and I think it’s good. It’s not an easy decision and not one taken lightly, but it’s going to be good.


I Took a Stand September 15, 2010

Beth Moore. Christian’s darling, top seller. Christian women’s leading speaker. Most women who have taken one of her Bible studies or read one of her books or seen her speak just ooze love for Beth Moore.

Well, not me.

No thanks.

Recently, I took a stand against the Beth Moore enterprise in a public forum… on Facebook.

A prominent figure from the church I’ve been attending for 4 years asked me to remove what I wrote on my Facebook page. She was in tears, crying over something unrelated. However, I allowed her dramatic reaction to carve a tenderness in my heart… because I like her. I deleted my statement along with the entire 40+ comment thread. It was a healthy debate and I was enjoying it. But, I was moved by her emotion and so I took it down.

And I regret taking it down.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep much.

This isn’t the first time my rights as an American citizen have been stepped on. People do not like to swallow something that just might change their minds or that comes up against something they cherish. “You’re allowed to have an opinion as long as you agree with me”. Freedom of speech? Nope.

So here I am. On my blog. Using my freedom of speech.

I don’t like Beth Moore the Christian public figure. She sells Jesus and makes millions off of it. She is no better than any other Christian persona out there packaging Christ and selling Him for a fee. It’s wrong. And I’m not sorry that I said that.

You may disagree with me. However, you will not shut me up.
Grow up Christians. Not every Christian within your church or your circle of friends needs to like what you like.

As for me…
I will continue to take a stand with what I believe. Does that mean you have to agree? Certainly not. But, you don’t have the right to censor me either.

For now I am taking a break from Facebook to clear my head. I take my relationships seriously whether in cyber space or in my literal face. I need to think. I might even need to reevaluate who my “friends” are. I definitely need to contemplate whether or not I’m in a “healthy” church or one that wants to seem healthy.

Pray for me if you are a Christian.


My Phil Wickham Pete Wilson Morning November 9, 2009


Meet Pete Wilson. He’s the pale dude.

Phil Wickham(1)

Meet Phil Wickham

Purple 2

Meet me

I’ll have you know that BOTH men stole my do.
Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Actually, I woke up with “P” hair and didn’t wash it
so it would stay looking way totally cool all day long.


Bible Study is Selfish Too October 26, 2009

Filed under: Life... The Way I See It — candidchatter @ 2:08 pm
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I just thought of this the other day… during Bible study. Imagine that.

I host a women’s Bible study group once a week. I have been doing this since the summer. I decided since I cannot join the church Bible studies because of my tied down Mommy status that I would bring Bible study to me. I host, and the women bring their young children and we talk about ourselves. I mean… God. We talk about God.

No. We talk about ourselves. A lot. And, how God has helped ourselves. And, how we are improving and how this Bible study has been so great for us. Us.

Me. Myself. I. Me. Me. Me. I. I. I.


I love Bible study. I love it!! I love being with women who believe the way I do. I love being with women who are raising their kids the way I am. I love that I can speak freely about all things Christian without having to explain what I mean. I love the uniqueness of our relationships. Our bonds are family knit and tight.

Our lives are woven and spun together like a spider’s web. Each strand intertwining with another and every one important and unique.

We are family. His. We belong together. We’ll be together forever. This life is only temporary. When you live like that, and have friends who live like that, the relationships are so much deeper and better than anything temporal. Our friendships are not seasonal. They are eternal.


However, Bible study feeds ourself. Flesh. We use it to stay in the Word because our busy lives just tear us away too often so if we join a Bible study then we are forcing ourselves to do the homework which has us searching the Bible to answer the questions. Then we get together over coffee and sometimes snacks to chit-chat about what we discovered about ourselves and our struggles; what God has revealed about us.

The study lasts a few weeks and then we take a break. The cycle continues the next time studies are offered. We scan the list of what is offered, decide if our schedules allow for one, pay our dues, and show up once a week like we did the last time around. Feeding ourselves all the soul food we can munch on.


I am not demeaning the Word of God. It is soul food.

But, what does Bible study really do? I mean for the bigger picture. The Kingdom!!!

Year after year women and men join Bible studies. They feel better about themselves and like they get an A+ from God and then what?

What difference is Bible study making for the Kingdom? What changes are being made because of these so-called well equiped Christians who had such a remarkable Bible study that they sell everything they own and move to Asia to save the poor people sold in human trafficking. Or forgo their normal holiday expenses to give it all to feed the poor. Or who don’t sit around stuffing themselves till they are sick and need a nap on Thanksgiving, but cook for and serve the poor woman whose husband can’t work and whose children are hungry.

Bible study is selfish.

Argue with me. Tell me that thousands of Christians are leaving Bible studies well equiped and making monumental differences for the Kingdom.

Do it.

Or, is your observation the same? We are getting fat on our soul food and we aren’t sharing. And I think for all the potential Bible study has for Christians, it is failing to motivate us to look any further than our own inward selves.

I like Bible study. I really do. It helps me feel like I’m doing something, when I’m really not doing much of anything. But, it serves that self-righteous ego of mine and my ego likes that.

Yes, I learn a lot at Bible study. But, most of what I learn isn’t about God… it’s about me.

And all these people writing Bible studies… all these Super Christians… what do they get out of it?
A book deal.
An audience.
Dare I say it?
A paycheck!

What would Jesus say about our modern-day American Bible studies?

*NOTE*: I feel I should put this on here so there is no misunderstanding… I do not mean studying the Bible straight from the Bible. I mean a Bible study done from a workbook written by an author based on the Bible. Studying your Bible is very useful for many reasons. Thank you.

What do you say?


Holy Day April 10, 2009

By Your Side
Tenth Avenue North


The God I serve
Who died for me
and you
He died for you too

Don’t run
Don’t hide your face

Embrace Him