For Them to Carry On December 8, 2008

Dear Future In-Laws to My Child,

My husband and I have raised our kids to the best of our ability. We have brought them up in a loving environment which promotes self-expression and acceptance. We have encouraged them to become whoever they desire to become as long as they work hard and honor God. We have enabled them to receive the best education we could afford. We have taught them through our own actions to be generous people. We promise that your child is safe in our family and in a relationship with our child.

Our kids were taught not to judge a person based on their appearance. In fact, appearance received as much merit in our family as the length of someone’s eyelashes. It has been irrelevant. We have taught them to determine if a person is of proper character based on their actions alone. We have encouraged them to align themselves with people who have integrity.

Our kids were taught that hard work and hard practice are the ingredients for success.

Our kids were taught to love others regardless of how those people treated them. We have told them that it is ok not to like someone, but that they are still to be kind to that person.

Our kids grew up in an environment filled with outward affection and howling laughter. We hug, we kiss, we snuggle. We laugh, we crack up, we giggle. They are happy and content people. They have always been surrounded by love and acceptance.

Our kids were taught that getting an education is important to career success. We have told them throughout their lives, starting when they were toddlers, that they can be whatever they want to be as long as they do well in school and respect their teachers.

Our kids were taught that hospitality is part of friendship. Our home has always been a place to celebrate life whether through birthdays, holidays, or just because we can days. We open our doors and welcome groups of people to share meals and good times with us. They have many friends and our home has served as a safe place for them their whole lives.

Our kids were taught to have compassion for the needy people of this world. They know how fortunate they are and desire to share their good fortune with others. They are not selfish or self-centered. They are generous and caring.

Our kids were taught from birth to present time about Jesus Christ. They have received Christian educations. They have been involved in many youth activities geered towards shepherding their hearts so that they would long to serve God all of their lives. They started memorizing Bible verses at a very young age and have cultivated personal relationships with Christ their Savior. Of all the things we have taught our kids, this is the most important to us.

Our kids are not perfect. But they are good enough.

Rest assured that your child has chosen a more than suitable spouse and we will do everything we can to be there for them whenever they need us.

Welcome to the family.

Respectfully,
Heidi Reed

What would
you add?

Slow Fade November 30, 2008

By Casting Crowns

I hate this song.
Because
it’s
true.

Nine Years Later November 29, 2008

Today my youngest sister is getting married. I could not make it to the wedding.

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary.

We will share anniversaries.

I love it!

Nine years later I have been so blessed.

Brianna is 4

Jeremy is 2 1/2

Baby will be here in just a few weeks
(picture is of me)

Thank you, Rich, for asking me to be your wife.
I love you.
You have blessed my life in ways I cannot describe.
Happy Anniversary!

And, Katie, my beautiful little sister…
May you be even more blessed than I.

Congratulations!
You will be on my mind all day.
You’re awesome
and
I love you!!

And Then He Touched Me October 24, 2008

Photo courtesy of Google Images

I have told you all that I am the luckiest woman on the planet because of the Knight of Awesomeness I call my husband. And I am. He brings such joy to my life and it would take me all day and too much space to tell you all the reasons why.

I remember when we were still in our 20s driving wherever in his Jeep — if he would touch my leg or hold my hand or kiss my fingers it literally sent sweet shivers up my spine. I would melt inside and I felt so cherished by him. And safe. And secure. I had never felt that way with any other man I had ever been in a relationship with. One thing I knew for sure was that Rich Reed loved me. I had no doubt about that. None.

He still does.

Early this morning, when I was having trouble falling back to sleep, he reached across the pillows and touched me. I melted. Why? I don’t know. Rich must touch me 100 times a day. We’ve been together a long time now and the newness is gone, but he made me melt deep in my heart right then. He rolled over and started to rub my arm and then my upper back. He propped himself up over the pillow to give me a hug and then rolled over and went back to sleep. I fell asleep too — with a smile on my face and cheer in my heart.

He still loves me.

Rich Reed you are still my hero. Thinking of you without the distractions of kids and bills and responsibilities and whatever else ties us down — thinking of you and me and just us — well that makes me melt. I will love you for the rest of my life and beyond.

I don’t care what anyone else says or thinks about me when it comes down to it. Anyone — friends, acquaintances, neighbors, relatives, strangers — can throw stones of any and all varieties my way and it really doesn’t do a thing to me. Ya know why?

Because at the end of the day the one human being on the planet who knows me the best — flaws and all — reaches across the pillow to rub me and to let me know how much he loves me. The one person who matters the most in my heart… that person… well, guess what folks — he loves me and wants to spend every day for the rest of his life with me.

Validation.
Say what you will. Judge all you want. Go there. It’s fine.
My man loves me and he always will.
Besides Jesus Christ and my children — that is all I’ll ever need.

Who matters most
in your life?

Behind the Curtain May 29, 2008

We don’t always know what goes on behind the scenes. Anywhere.

What happened on this blog that brought me well over 300 hits today is a prime example of what I mean. Drama. So much drama that it put 2 sisters who normally get along like peas in a pod at odds with each other. Thankfully, the problem is resolved for the most part. There is one little, minor issue still hanging, but it’s more like “I’m right”, “no, I’m right”, “no, you are wrong, I’m right”, “no, you aren’t remembering it right, I’m right”, “no, I remember, you are wrong, I’m right”. Silly. Kindergarten. Blah!

My sister is very wrapped up in the final stages of planning a very large and very expensive wedding. She has looked forward to this day for over 3 years now. She met her husband-to-be about 5 years ago. She is coordinating and paying for her dream day. What started out as fun has turned into mounds of financial strain and stress. Those of you already married will moan along with me because we are well aware of the wastefulness of wedding “budgets”. But, until you’re married, you just don’t get it. Our society plays a major role in driving this business of weddings into the brains of young girls who, for ridiculous reasons, end up putting themselves or their parents in debt for one day.

So what happens is she gets herself so wrapped up in this wedding that she fails to see what it is really all about. At least that’s my take on it. I did the same thing when I was planning my own wedding. I got so ticked off at little insignificant things and it would ruin my day. In fact, my husband almost called off our wedding due to my Bridezilla-ness. I could be wicked during those months.

And you know what?
I don’t even have one wedding picture gracing my walls. I have one picture. One. In a frame, on a shelf, that is barely noticeable unless you are really purposely looking for it. I don’t watch my wedding video. I can’t remember the last time I looked at my wedding photos.

The one thing I regret from that day is that I didn’t ask my sister “Snickets” to walk down the aisle during the ceremony. She surprised me by being there. I didn’t expect her to come. Yet, she did. And because I didn’t know she was coming I didn’t plan for her to be in my wedding. And she didn’t have a bridesmaid dress to match the others. So she sat and watched with my family. How sad. She had on a black cocktail dress. She looked stunningly beautiful (as usual). I should have asked her to be in the wedding regardless. Sure she may have stood out. But you know what would have stood out more? My love for her. My desire to have her in my wedding even if she wore jeans – which she didn’t. Know why? Because, in the end, it just doesn’t matter about the dress. Or the hair. Or the shoes. Or the make-up. Or the cake. Or the flowers. Or any of that crap.

What matters… is the love.

Love is being celebrated, right? Not perfection. The joining of two people in love. The surroundings filled with family and laughter and smiles. The atmosphere that lights up the world and glows for one day as 2 families and mounds of friends come together to celebrate the newly married couple. That is what matters.

I talked to my baby sister today. She is getting married soon too. She is so smart, that one. She is now thinking of postponing her wedding date a bit to ease the pressure off the family. She realizes how much blood, sweat, and tears her older sister’s wedding is costing us all. I gave her some advice. I told her not to insult anyone. I told her not to set her expectations too high. I told her to make it simple. I also told her that I will not be in her wedding. LOL! I did. She laughed and said she is planning an all friends wedding party anyway. She’s a sweetheart.

So pray for my sister, Andrea. She’s up to her eyeballs and beyond. She has a little boy who is 3 1/2 and a handful (aren’t they all). She is working double shifts at her job. She is planning her wedding virtually all by herself. She is emotionally and financially spent.

Pray for all women planning their weddings. Lord knows they need our prayers.

Remember when you had that first child and you read all those books and you did all they told you to do and you took all the advice other mothers gave you and you bought all cotton everything and only the best diapers and so on? Remember that? Then, remember your 2nd child when you threw all that crap away and got real?

Yeah. It’s like that. I hope and pray she regrets nothing and that her day is awesome.

Thanks for stopping by Candid Chatter. If you’re new, stick around. Sometimes I’m actually funny. Good night!

 

What do you regret about your wedding day?