Happy New Year December 28, 2009

So, talk amongst yourselves. I have news for you to discuss. It will come as a shock to some and others will just roll their eyes and still others will wonder what I mean by “a shock”.

The kids got a big surprise for Christmas. I had a hard time making the decision and initially decided against it. But, Moms are suckers for their kids’ happiness and addicted to their smiles… so…

Please join together in welcoming our newest family member.
A Star is born!

“Star” is a standard poodle

She was born on December 15th. My mother-in-law’s dog and my sister-in-law’s dog made whoopie and when dogs make whoopie little dogs are born. Did you know that? We all suspected on Thanksgiving that “Mocha” was preggers because her nipples were astronomically huge. She sure was. Her litter was 8 pups. Five survived. “Star” will come home to live with us at the end of February. My kids are overwhelmed with excitement about their dog and that makes me happy.

Happy New Year folks. Why not try this on for a resolution this year…! Why don’t you resolve to do something kind to your fellow human anonymously. No glory for you. Just the pure white satisfaction in your heart that you caused a kindness in someone’s life and nobody knows it was you ‘cept God.

See you soon!

The Duggar Family September 5, 2009

What do you think about the Duggars?

Do you have
the right to judge
them for their family
size or religious beliefs?

I Salute You February 14, 2009

To all the single moms and dads out there… I salute you.

For the past year, my husband has worked so many hours that I have felt the majority of the time that I am a single parent. I hope that doesn’t sound insensitive to a single parent’s situation. I mean no disrespect. It’s just that I am really tired. I can imagine how hard single parenting really is.

When my husband works so much that my kids only see him for 5 minutes in the morning Monday through Friday, I feel very alone. We get him all day on Saturday, thank God. Sunday he serves all morning at the church. By the time he gets home, the kids are in bed for their naps. They only get to see him about 5 hours on Sundays because of this conflict in his schedule. I half begged him last week to quit the ministry he volunteers for. We need him home. I need him home.

I am thankful that I don’t really know what it’s like to be completely on my own with my three kids. But I want you single parents to know that I think of you and I completely take off my hat to you. Your job, my friends, is the hardest job on the planet.

I salute you.

Many Years Later December 5, 2008

A certain person I know has, for years, said negative and demeaning things about people who have large families. Things like “they’re crazy”, “they must be nuts”, “how can they give their kids enough attention”, “it’s ridiculous (or irresponsible) to have that many kids”. And so on.

Believe it or not, I have kept my mouth shut — taking it with a grain of salt each time.
That is, until today.

I have had it up to my hairline and beyond with these kinds of remarks. It doesn’t help that this person and I had a heated discussion yesterday regarding the dumbest advice I think I’ve ever been given by a person who has no right even breathing a word on the subject considering this person’s lack of responsible behavior in a certain area. That is vague on purpose.

My parents raised 7 children. My paternal grandparents raised 13 while my maternal grandparents raised 8. To say I come from a big family is the understatement of the year. I believe I have somewhere around 75 first cousins with both families combined. I have no idea how many of those cousins have produced children of their own. I’m sure the numbers now are well over 100 with first and second cousins combined. And we’re still having children. Some of my first cousins are still under the age of 10. I think a couple may even be under age 5. Huge family! Absolutely humongous!

In my family segment, my precious parents (who have been married for over 36 years) have their ninth grandchild on the way (our wee one). One of my sisters is trying to get pregnant with her 2nd. One of my sisters has three girls. My brother has 2 girls. My youngest sister just got married last weekend. Two of my siblings are in serious relationships, but not married yet. That leaves a whole bunch of room for more nieces and nephews for me and many more grandchildren for my parents of awesomeness. I think Christmas, one day, will be unbelievably expensive for all of us. Yikes!!

So for anyone to condemn large families to me is like calling my entire family a bunch of idiots.

Not a good idea.
It’s an even worse idea while I’m all chock full of hormones and 8 months pregnant.
Yeah. Dumb move.

So I did what any upstanding young woman with her third child on the way would do. I shot the person dead and now I’m going to jail.

Nah. In my mind I wanted to rip out hair and poke out eyeballs though.

First of all, both of my lovely heathens were fighting and yelling in the seat right behind me. The person on the phone heard the commotion and said “what would you do if you had 10 of them”. I said “I’d throw every last one out the window”. We chuckled. Then the person said “well what do you think about people who do have 10 kids then — they are nuts, aren’t they”? I stopped the chuckle right then. “You know what” I said. “You’ve been saying derogatory things about people who have a lot of kids for many years now and I’ve put up with it. I’ve been patient. I’ve been kind. But you must understand that when you say things like that you are putting down my entire family and that hurts my feelings. I don’t like it even a little bit and it doesn’t amuse me.” The person sounded taken aback and said “what well I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just mean that I couldn’t handle it”. I received and accepted an apology and then quickly got off the phone.

Right after that the girls at Subway started in on me having a girl and a boy already and what made me decide to have another child since I have one of each. I must be crazy they say and all three laugh it up. I played along. Deep inside I was painfully aware of the way I am viewed by society. I have too many kids. I am crazy to want more. How do I do what I do? Why? How? Ha ha ha this is so funny and entertaining.

No.

It’s not funny. It’s not entertaining.
It’s disgusting.

I am proud of my family. I am proud of my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and cousins who have decided to grow their families despite what anyone else thinks or says. I had a wonderful childhood. I would change nothing about it. I love my family deeply.

I’m sick of being the butt of jokes. I am sick of being the circus who just arrived because it’s oh such a novelty to ask Heidi to tell the whole room full of people how many cousins/aunts/uncles or whatnot she has. I can hear the circus music play as the laughter fills the room along with the wide-eyed expressions on the faces of unbelieving or astonished people.

My family is not a circus.
My family is not crazy.
My family is awesome.

If it were up to me, I’d have more children. Not the natural way, however. But if Rich would open his heart to it I’d certainly adopt — at least one, maybe more.

I love kids.
I grew up surrounded by love.
My family may not have lots of money, but they sure do have lots of love.
An overabundance of it, in fact.

And. It. Makes. Me. Proud.

Summer Gets It November 17, 2008

I took the kids to the playground today. We have a favorite one in a really cool neighborhood that we frequent. I waddled over to the swings and began my exercises of the day pushing both kids on two different swings. Don’t think that’s exercise? Try it. Now try it with a bowling ball strapped to your stomach. I dare ya!

Anyway. There was a darling young woman pushing her daughter next to us. She asked me the typical “when are you due” question. I told her “in 8 more weeks… January”. Not one ounce of shock or judgment on her pretty face. I instantly liked her. She replied “awww, I just love pregnant women — I loved being pregnant — well, that is, until the end”. I was all shocked and dramatic making faces and laughing because pregnancy is not something I enjoy except for the fetal movement. I said “well this is the end pretty much — third trimester and all”. She grinned. Lovely gal. Just lovely.

{Pause for a note to my friend LB: she reminded me of you — she had your personality to a “T”}

The kids did their normal round-the-playground routine. I followed as closely as my short little legs could manage. Rock wall, rings, slide, bridge, stairs, “watch this mom”, “see what I can do mom”, hang from bars, try to climb palm tree, throw mulch, find shells, back to the swings, etc. Fun for them and exhausting for me. Huff Puff Huff Puff.

Mrs. Personality came back over to the swings when we were there for our 2nd go. She talked about wanting a 3rd child too and how ready she is to start trying. I guess her husband is resisting. I told her mine did too (someday I’ll tell the whole story — still not ready yet). She said she wasn’t sure how hard to fight for it. I told her “some things are worth fighting for”. She smiled sweetly.

Jeremy called from across the playground wanting my help. She offered to go get him off the ladder and I scooted over to push her little girl on the swing. Brianna was going pretty high so she didn’t protest. We thanked one another and kept chit-chatting. Turns out we had a few things in common regarding our opinions of our city and a snooty neighborhood we both used to live in. We had a couple laughs.

After a bit she decided to go home to get lunch for her two girls. She was there with a friend who was also pregnant and looking very tired of chasing her little one. I understood. So we said goodbye and “nice chatting with you” and she wished me luck with the yet unborn wee one. I thanked her and she left.

Have you ever met someone completely out of nowhere and wanted to be friends?

Two things that left a happy feeling in my heart.
1. She mentioned she goes to church and works in the nursery — this makes me happy because it could very well mean she’s a born-again Christian which means even if I don’t see her again in this life, I’ll surely look her up in the next.
2. She put the word community into action — this is what we are missing in our society. She’s the link.

Her name is Summer. And Summer, by golly, you get it. You are the “it” chick. Not because you’re pretty. Not because you live in a nice neighborhood. Not because you have a cool hairstyle and cool sunglasses. No. It’s because you are friendly — genuinely friendly — and you love to laugh and you ooze joy. I can imagine when your husband kisses you good night he pinches himself he’s so lucky. I’ll bet he knows the blessing you are in his life. I hope your daughters grow up to be just like you.

And I would love to be your friend. Just not sure we’ll ever meet again. But if we do…
Well, I’ll see what God has in mind.

You’re the real deal, Summer. So many people could take a lesson from you. Too many.

And — I cannot believe you liked being pregnant. I happen to believe you have forgotten a lot.

How Many is Too Many? September 22, 2008

Know what’s been happening to me a lot lately? I’ll tell you since you’ll never guess.

I get this comment every day that I am out of my house by some ignoramous.
“Why are you having another baby when you already have a girl and a boy?”
And the ignoramous who asks me this question is serious. I think this ignoramous also has a lot of guts to ask a hormonal, outspoken, pregnant chick such an ignorant and personal question. It’s like teasing a rattlesnake. Dumb move.

So what am I to do? This side of me thinks I ought to start shooting the people who say these airheaded things to put them out of their absolute misery. This side of me feels a need to explain the personal decision my husband and I made about the size of our family.

The next assumption is this… “so I suppose this is your last then”. As if that is anyone’s business in the first place.

Who decided it was ok to ask complete strangers about their family choices and plans? Who made it perfectly normal to say these things to pregnant women or their spouses?

How absurd that society thinks I have a big family because of my soon to be 3 children. I’ll show you a big family. I’ll show you the best childhood ever and the most love ever and the greatest family on the planet. I’ll show you all of my aunts and uncles and cousins; my mom and dad and siblings; my grandparents and nieces and nephews. You’ve never seen such a family I guess. Holidays are absolute blow-out events. Fun for the entire family. More presents under a Christmas tree than you’ve ever laid your beedy little eyes on.

I have decided not to give a true response anymore. From now on I am going to say this…
They ask me: “why are you having another baby when you already have a girl and a boy”
I am going to say: “to rid the world of people who ask ignorant and personal questions they have no business asking — if there are more of us, then there are less of you”

They might say: “so I suppose this is your last child then”
My response: “uh, yeah, last time I checked the size of my family was not up for discussion — esp with a perfect stranger”

What do you think?
Will it work?
It’s like the idiot
who asks a non-pregnant
woman when she’s due!!

Jolted September 19, 2008

My daughter is very dramatic and very sensitive. She gets both of these traits from yours truly. Hard to imagine, I know, I know. LOL!!

Well the other day she was screaming about something and burried her head into my stomach as she screamed. The baby in my tum jumped and squirmed all about like it had been jolted wide awake and had the crap scared out of it. It was so startling for me (and obviously for it too) that I pulled Brianna away to tell her what just happened. She ended up laughing her rear end off — as did I. It was the neatest, coolest, weirdest thing. Poor baby. But the good news is he or she has great hearing!!

My friend SW came over yesterday for coffee and a visit. Right before she left Jeremy stuck his face in my stomach and shouted “wake up baby”. We laughed ourselves silly. I told her this story.

Kids — they are so dang cute!

Have a wonderful Friday. I hope this day you are filled with joy! Thanks for coming over to Candid Chatter. Warm fuzzies to everyone.

And Then a Fight Breaks Out September 18, 2008

Since B started preschool, every day when we pick her up she tells J how much she missed him, gives him a hug and kiss, and then chatters with him all the way home. It makes me happy I had them so close in age. Most of the time they get along and play and hang out together.

And then a fight breaks out.

Right now I am listening to J scream at the top of his lungs because I made him share with B. He’s ticked. Ticked or not, it is her turn with the dinosaur toy. I have to give them time limits — usually 5 minutes — with a certain toy or whatever and then I make them switch. Normally, this works like a charm. Today, not so much.

In less than 5 minutes, they will be back to doing something darling together.

When I was a youngin’ and had to share with my rotten siblings it would make me mad as a hornet too. Esp if I had to share something that was rightfully mine. Something grandma bought for ME. It was mine yet I had to share it with them. Them. The little ones. The sticky handed ones. The slobbery drooly little heathens.

LOL!

Now I love sharing with my siblings. I no longer think of them as rotten, sticky, slobbery, drooly, or heathens. They are actually all pretty freakin’ awesome.

So I know they will get to that point one day. They won’t fight as much. They will enjoy helping one another. They will defend each other.

But, for now, a dinosaur toy is a means for WWIII to start in my living room.

I will miss these days. I know I will. But sometimes I feel like locking myself in the bathroom. Ha!!

PS: B is teaching J how to hop on one foot while they watch Barney. See… less than 5 minutes and all is well again. Kids!!

TV and Halloween September 11, 2008

There are certain TV shows made for children that my kids are not permitted to watch.

• Sponge Bob Squarepants
• The Doodlebops
• Lilo & Stitch

To name a few.

I have my reasons. I know there are parents who only permit TV at certain times of the day and only for so many minutes/hours per day. I’m not like that really. My kids watch TV at breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner. It keeps the peace. For now. As they get older, we plan to cut the TV at mealtimes.

While I was in Ohio in June, my kids were introduced to Tom & Jerry and Spiderman. I was none too pleased with that, but when Daddy and Poppy are in charge they do things differently than Mommy does. I have tried to win the battles over those shows since then, but I’m not faring too well. Thankfully, they are only on at certain times of the day (naptime) and usually whenever Brianna asks for one of them they aren’t on. Shew! Being that she loves her some Spiderman, I doubt the desire to watch it on TV will subside any time soon. But I’m working on it.

This time of year is especially challenging for me. I have mentioned before that my husband and I don’t do Halloween with our children. It’s our own personal conviction and we would never try to persuade anyone else to treat it as we do unless that person (couple) is likewise convicted. The trouble is it’s on almost every single cartoon my kids are permitted to watch. Dora does a witch Halloween episode and a Trick or Treat one. The intermission on Nick Jr. and the like are all Halloween festive. I even think I saw a Halloween thing on Handy Manny last year as well as on Little Einsteins. Frustrating.

I choose to ignore it and redirect their attention whenever something of that nature comes on TV. Pulling out crafts around that time is a great way to get their attention towards something else.

My daughter doesn’t like Halloween decor. When we go to stores that have the masks and skeletons and spider webs hanging about she says it scares her. I can see why. Some of that stuff is scary looking. However, it is everywhere right now. I am quite aware of it and I try to avoid taking them places with those things whenever I can. When I have no choice I just ignore it and tell them it’s fake and not to worry.

Sometimes it’s tough to be a parent. I stick to my guns pretty well, but when the world is all for something that I’m all against it can be difficult. Now that we live in a kid-filled neighborhood, trick or treat night might be another challenge. We’re probably going to have to make plans to do something away from home that night because I also don’t give out candy.

A family member tried to persuade me the other day to take my kids to a church event for trick or treating so my kids don’t feel left out. Uh, no thanks. Church sponsored or not — it’s still trick or treat. Whether they are in devil, witch, and ghost costumes or angels, lambs, and clowns — it is still trick or treat. They still get candy. The idea is the same. The only difference is the type of costumes present. Does the fact that it is sponsored by a local church change my conviction? Absolutely not.

In Romans 12:2 it says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

Parenting is tough. Sometimes being a Christian parent is even tougher.

Article: “Where did Halloween come from?” Incase you’re interested.

What are your
parental convictions?

Summer Fun August 15, 2008

We have been unbelievably busy for 2 weeks solid. I have to take breaks so I can have time to clean or do laundry. Tomorrow I need to do a little of both plus pay bills plus run errands.

Yesterday and today we went to the beach. Wednesday we went to a local oceanographic center where the kids were able to pet stingrays (barbs & stingers removed).

The really super nice thing about Florida is that a lot of entertainment is FREE. You don’t have to pay to go to the beach. You have salt water and sand to deal with, but who the heck cares. It’s fun! My in-laws have a membership to the oceanographic center and so 3 generations under them get in free. Yahoo! There are playgrounds all over the place. There are these cool water fountains that shoot up out of the ground for kids to play in. No admission. Just come, play, and get wet. There is outdoor entertainment (music, festivals, celebrations) almost weekly somewhere close by.

Where you get into trouble down here is in the major tourist areas (Orlando, Miami, the Keys, Tampa, etc).

My kids have never been to Disney. I believe they are still too young. I think we might try Sea World before our littlest one is born though. They loved the oceanographic thing so much I got all Sea World excited for them.

We went to Orlando in May to visit some family of mine who had made the trip down from Ohio. We had a blast. On the way home, and for the next week, our 3 year old daughter kept telling me, “I love Orlando, Mommy”. I responded with, “and so far you have no idea how MUCH you love Orlando”. She had so much fun at the resort my family was staying in that she fell in love with Orlando. Wait until she goes to Disney. Ha!! She’ll be walking in the clouds that trip. Mmm Hmm.

So I have a killer tan going on now. Two+ hours Thursday; four+ hours today. Yeah, that’s 6 hours of hot Florida sun over SPF 50 or SPF 15 depending on what part of my body we’re discussing (50 on the neck, shoulders, and tattoo — 15 everywhere else). My kids have nice golden brown skin themselves. My son is no longer a brunette. Nope. Boy’s hair has turned a dishwater kind of blonde. Handsome tyke! My daughter’s hair is now even more blonde streaked with almost platinum. She’s going to be a heartbreaker, that one. So beautiful!!

The economy is harsh. Everything is too expensive. For the first time since we moved down here I have begun clipping coupons and watching for sales on meat and milk. I now buy my produce at farmer’s markets rather than the grocery store. I don’t overstock anymore. I get what we need and leave it at that. I have started to be creative. If you knew what my electric bill is (SR or TM, sshhh) you would pass the heck out. Florida summer = humid heat = a/c running A LOT!!

That trickles over into family entertainment too. I am not one who enjoys being at home all the time. During the first trimester of this pregnancy I think that almost killed my spirit. I love go go going. I was so sick I couldn’t get off the couch some mornings. Since all that stuff is out of my system I have been whipping it up a bit around here. But what about the cost to entertain the kids? Not a problem right now. I don’t need a pool membership. I have access to the biggest pool on the planet 365 days a year. The Atlantic Ocean is minutes from my house. And right now we are taking full advantage.

I love it here.

I plan on keeping all of this up until Brianna starts school the first week of September. Then what? I don’t know. But I’ll figure something out. Guess me and the boy will be doing a lot of cool things while his sister learns new things.

Summer Fun!

What are you doing
to have fun this summer
despite the economy?